Sweet Hatred
Chapter 65: Spiraling guilt.

Chapter 65: Spiraling guilt.

ARIA

I stepped out of Kael’s penthouse with my heart cracking in too many places to count. The echo of that door shutting behind me felt like the final word in a conversation I didn’t agree to end. My chest burned, not just from hurt, but from a rage that was bubbling beneath the surface—rage at him. At his recklessness. At the way he treated violence like it was language and blood like it was punctuation.

Shoji’s face flashed in my head—battered, bruised, and barely conscious. Kael hadn’t hesitated back in Kyoto. Just like he didn’t hesitate now. He’d knocked Shoji out cold in front of me. Didn’t even flinch when I screamed. Didn’t stop. And tonight... Mia. I hadn’t seen her die, but I imagined the panic in her eyes minutes before she fled. And now she was gone. A life, no matter how twisted, was gone.

I pressed the elevator button with trembling fingers. Guilt clawed at my insides, but guilt couldn’t smother the cold horror that crept up my spine when I thought about Kael. How easily he’d chosen violence. How numb he was to it. How normal it had become for him.

The elevator dinged open, and I stepped inside, the walls pressing in on me like they knew I didn’t belong here anymore. I opened my phone and typed a quick message to Sarah: "Are you around?" She didn’t reply right away. I had a dozen missed calls from Olivia too.

My thumb hovered over her name, but I couldn’t bring myself to call. I didn’t even need to listen to the voicemail. I knew what it was about. Loan sharks. Debt collectors. Trouble. Always trouble. I didn’t have it in me to listen to more bad news—especially not about Michael.

As the elevator reached the basement garage, I stepped out and immediately froze. Niko was there. Leaning against a car like he had all the time in the world. Of course Kael had called him.

"Miss Thorne," he said, straightening up as I walked toward the exit.

"I’m fine," I said sharply, not breaking stride.

"Kael asked me to take you wherever you need to go."

I scoffed, not stopping. "Of course he did. But I don’t need a babysitter."

The cold hit me the moment I stepped outside—sharper than I expected, biting into my skin through the wide sleeves of the hoodie. I shivered but kept walking. Niko followed, his footsteps echoing behind mine.

"Miss Thorne, it’s best to get in the car."

"I said I’m fine!" I snapped, spinning to face him for a second. "Go back to Kael."

He raised his hands in surrender but didn’t argue. I turned away and lifted my phone again, just as Sarah’s reply came in: "Where are you?"

I sighed in relief, quickly typing back: "I’m coming to yours. Can I?"

Before Niko could try again, I flagged down a taxi.

I slid into the back seat, shutting the door behind me like I was closing a Chapter I couldn’t bear to read again.

"Midtown. Ivy Apartments."

The driver didn’t even blink when I gave Sarah’s address. I sank into the back seat, hugging myself as the city blurred past.

I couldn’t stop the replay in my head. Kael, fists red. Shoji, broken. Mia, tying me to that chair like I was nothing more than a loose end. Her eyes right before she vanished. Her last words. That crash. The silence afterward. It all looped endlessly, gnawing at the corners of my sanity.

By the time I got to Sarah’s place and rang the bell, my legs were shaking. The door opened fast, and she stood there in her pajamas, eyes wide with concern.

"Aria?"

I didn’t say a word. I didn’t need to. The moment I saw her, my wall broke. I fell into her arms like I was collapsing into safety. I tried to force the tears out but nothing.

She held me close as I exhaled deeply and shakily, leading me inside and kicking the door shut behind us. "Hey, hey... what happened? Is it Kael? What did he do?"

I shook my head against her shoulder, clinging to her like she was the only thing keeping me grounded. She didn’t press. Just guided me to the couch and wrapped us both in a blanket like we were kids hiding from monsters.

"No matter what happened," she whispered, stroking my hair, "you have me. I’m here, okay? You don’t have to say anything until you’re ready."

I wanted to talk. I wanted to tell her everything. But where would I even start? "I watched people die." "I don’t know who I am around him anymore." "I feel like I’m rotting from the inside."

But I didn’t say anything. I just held onto her, pressing my face into her shoulder, praying the silence would be enough to make it all go away. My breath stuttered with every wave of guilt and shame that crashed against me. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. But all I could do was sit there and let her hold me until sleep finally dragged me under.

The smell of coffee and the faint clatter of cups were the first things I registered when I woke up. The hoodie had slipped off my shoulder, and the morning chill kissed the skin there. I blinked against the soft light bleeding through the windows. For a second, I didn’t know where I was. Then I saw Sarah, moving around in the kitchen, tying her hair into a messy ponytail with one hand while holding her phone in the other.

Everything came back at once.

The penthouse. Kael’s voice. Mia. The crash.

I sat up slowly, pulling the blanket tighter around me like it could shield me from my own mind.

Sarah glanced over and gave me a small smile. "Morning. You slept like the dead." She paused, then walked over and crouched beside the couch. "Feeling any better?"

I nodded, even though the pressure in my chest was still there. A little lighter. But still present. "Yeah," I lied, voice hoarse. "Just... overwhelmed, I guess. With work. And family stuff."

She didn’t say anything for a few seconds, just looked at me like she didn’t fully believe me—but she didn’t push. "Okay," she said quietly. "You know I’m here when you’re ready to talk, right? No pressure. Ever."

I gave her a weak smile. "I know. Thank you."

She stood, grabbing her bag and finishing the last of her coffee. "Do you want me to help you text Kael? Or Mia? Just tell them you won’t be making it today or whatever?"

My heart dropped at the sound of her name. Mia.

I swallowed hard, forcing a smile that felt unnatural. "I’ll text them myself. It’s fine."

"Alright. I left some breakfast in the kitchen—just toast and scrambled eggs. And coffee. Eat something, okay?"

I nodded, watching her gather her things. She leaned down and kissed the top of my head before heading for the door. "Text me if you need anything, even if it’s just someone to scream at."

"Okay," I murmured, watching her go. The moment the door clicked shut, the apartment felt too quiet.

I stood up, padded to the kitchen, and turned on the TV—more out of habit than anything else. The screen flickered to life, voices filling the silence I hadn’t realized was pressing so tightly against my ears.

And that’s when I saw it.

"—a tragic accident involving an employee of XE Mega Corporation..."

Mia’s face flashed across the screen—a still image from a work function maybe, carefully poised and smiling, as if she hadn’t orchestrated hell.

"—high-speed collision off the I-87, just outside the city. Authorities report the vehicle swerved into oncoming traffic before slamming into a delivery truck. The car caught fire on impact. Identification was confirmed via dental records. No foul play suspected at this time."

My breath caught.

It felt like the air had been ripped from my lungs, like I was suddenly underwater. I reached out, blindly turning the volume down, but the words still echoed—dental records... no foul play... confirmed.

She was dead. Mia was gone. I blinked at the screen, my body frozen but my mind unraveling all over again.

She’s dead. She’s dead.

Then why did I still feel like I’d murdered her myself?

Aria snap out of it.

My fingers curled tightly around the edge of the counter. A tremor ran down my arms and settled into my spine, and I tried to tell myself it was just shock. Just leftover adrenaline. But I knew better.

Because I remembered everything. I remembered the men.

The ones Mia brought in. The ones she commanded to ’have fun with me’ and dump my body where no one would find it

My body flinched like I’d been struck. I could still hear it. Her voice. Calm. Steady. Like it was a line from a script she’d rehearsed a thousand times.

She wanted me erased. Just like Kael had said.

And yet...

Yet here I was, on the other side of it. Alive. Breathing.

And she was gone. Shouldn’t that be enough? Shouldn’t that be justice?

Then why did I still feel like I was the one holding the match that burned her to ashes?

I hated how guilt crept in like it had a right to exist in me.

I hated that even now, part of me pitied her. Part of me kept thinking of the look in her eyes the last time I saw her—satisfied, triumphant. Like everything had already gone according to her plan and I was nothing but a ghost.

Kael was right. He was. Even though I hated to admit it.

And I hated that despite everything, some twisted shard inside me still wondered if maybe she wasn’t always a monster.

That maybe she just lost her way. But there was no time to spiral. No space for feeling anything.

Because right then, my phone rang again.

Olivia.

My stomach clenched.

Michael. The loans. Everything I hadn’t dealt with yet was still waiting—gnawing at the edge of my life, demanding attention.

I stared at the screen for a moment, then slowly reached for the phone.

I could fall apart later.

Right now, I had to do what I always did.

Suck it up.

I took a deep breath, cleared my throat, and answered.

"Hello?"

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