Sweet Hatred
Chapter 194: Echo Of Absence

Chapter 194: Echo Of Absence

The office greeted me with its usual hum of artificial lighting and the quiet rustle of productivity. Safe. Cold. Predictable. I slipped past the lobby with barely a nod and headed straight toward my office. But I stopped short when I saw her.

Rose. At her desk as usual.

She was on the phone, but as soon as her eyes landed on me, her smile softened.

Just like that, Kael flooded my head again.

The way he looked at me like I was the only person alive. The way his fingers felt wrapped around mine at the amusement park. The way we couldn’t keep our hands off each other, couldn’t stop laughing, couldn’t stop feeling.

I remembered the way I’d acted like none of it happened.

Like it didn’t matter.

God, I was always doing that.

Ruining things when I was scared. Pushing people away before they could leave me first. And now Kael was... gone.

I hesitated, but something inside me caved. I walked over to Rose.

"Is Kael in?" I asked, voice quiet. Too quiet.

She shook her head with a polite, apologetic smile. "He left this morning. Traveled out of town for a meeting."

Just like that, whatever tiny flicker of hope I’d been feeding all day... vanished.

"Oh," I said, trying not to let it show. "Okay."

She tilted her head, sensing something. "I was going to bring in the new project files. It’s a lot, but—"

"Bring them," I cut in, forcing myself to keep moving. "Just bring them in."

I slipped into my office before she could read too much from my face.

.....

I buried myself in work like it was morphine, numbing, cold, reliable. I reviewed project briefs, signed approvals, skimmed emails. Rose came and went a few times, quietly stacking papers on my desk and refilling my coffee.

But the second she left, my eyes flicked to my phone.

Nothing.

No message. No missed call. No him.

And every hour that passed, the silence grew louder. The ache in my chest deeper. It hit me over and over, you pushed him away. You did this.

I tried to tell myself that he always came back. That he was too stubborn to stay gone.

But maybe this time was different.

Maybe I really did go too far.

I left the office the second I cleared my workload, the ache in my head now matching the one in my chest. I didn’t wait around. I didn’t tell Rose goodbye. I just wanted to go home. I wanted to see Olivia, apologize, fix it somehow, even if I didn’t know how.

But when I unlocked the door to my apartment... the silence hit like a brick wall.

No laughter. No footsteps. No cartoons playing from the living room.

Just silence.

Something inside me twisted. I stepped further in, calling out without thinking. "Olivia?"

Nothing.

Then I saw it.

A note on the coffee table. Just a scrap of paper.

~ You can have the apartment to yourself.

That was it.

Nothing else.

Just the echo of absence.

And that’s when I knew, I’d done more damage than I thought. I’d broken something that might never come back the same.

I sank into the couch, the silence swallowing me whole.

I don’t know how long I sat there—on that couch, staring at that pathetic little note like it could somehow explain everything.

The silence in the apartment felt louder than screaming.

I used to love silence. Craved it even. But now... now it felt like punishment. Like every quiet second was reminding me that I drove everyone away. Olivia. The kids. Kael.

My fingers hovered over my phone, desperate for noise. For proof that I wasn’t completely alone.

I opened his contact without thinking.

Kael.

My thumb hovered over the call button, heart pounding like I was standing on the edge of something I couldn’t come back from. And then I pressed it.

The dial tone rang.

And rang.

And rang.

No answer.

I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding, bitter and tight. It’s better this way, I told myself. He probably doesn’t want to hear from you right now anyway. You made sure of that.

Still, I stared at the screen even after it went dark, like maybe he’d call back.

He didn’t.

I scrolled aimlessly for a moment, before landing on Sarah’s name.

I could call her.

She’d come. She always did. She had this way of sitting beside me like the world wasn’t crumbling. She never rushed me. Never judged me.

But something inside me ached at the thought. I didn’t want to be the friend that only showed up when everything was falling apart. That’s who I always was with her. I never called just to laugh. Or to catch up. Or to breathe. Only when I was breaking.

And maybe I was tired of only being a burden in someone else’s life.

I tossed the phone aside.

I couldn’t stay here. Not in this silence. Not with these thoughts.

So I stood. I grabbed my bag. My keys.

And I left.

.....

The city fell behind me in streaks of headlights and blurred neon. I didn’t say where I was going, even to myself. But I knew. I always ended up there when everything in me felt like it was caving in.

The beach.

The one on the edge of the city, far enough that no one followed. Quiet. Untouched. Mine.

By the time I got there, the sky was already dark, and the ocean was a beautiful, restless thing under the clouds. I kicked off my shoes and stepped onto the sand, not caring that it was cold or wet or biting at my skin.

It was better than silence.

Better than that apartment full of ghosts.

I walked to the edge of the water, where the waves just barely touched my toes, and stared out into the endless dark.

I didn’t cry. I couldn’t .

I didn’t scream.

I just stood there, letting the ache inside me roll with the tide.

Because I didn’t know who I was supposed to be anymore. The sister. The caretaker. The cold executive. The girl Kael fell asleep with wrapped around his body.

I felt like I was losing all of them. One by one.

And the worst part?

I wasn’t sure if I deserved to keep any of them.

***

The sea was quiet tonight.

That kind of eerie quiet that wrapped around you like a second skin and made you feel like the world was holding its breath. Like even the stars were watching, waiting, wondering if I’d step further.

I didn’t mean to keep walking.

Not really.

It just happened. Step by step, like the sea was calling me closer with every wave that lapped at my feet. Like it understood what I couldn’t say out loud.

That I didn’t know where to go anymore.

I didn’t even notice how far I’d walked until the water was kissing my ankles in a cold, sharp, almost punishing way.

I should’ve gone back. I should’ve turned around and gotten in a cab and gone home.

But I didn’t want to.

The sand sucked at my feet, each wave pulling a little more of me under. And I let it.

It felt like I was drifting. Not just physically, but mentally. Emotionally. Like pieces of me were detaching one by one, slipping into the tide to be forgotten. A memory. A breath.

The cold seeped through my skin, past bone, into marrow. But I didn’t care. It almost felt... deserved. Like a penance I hadn’t asked for but silently accepted.

I kept moving. Inch by inch.

My calves. My knees.

The waves reached higher, like fingers curling around me, coaxing me in. And I let them, just as I was letting the ache eat me alive, letting the memories return in an avalanche of noise and shadow.

My mother.

The funeral and my father suddenly showing up.

Olivia’s tears.

Me walking away from Kael because I couldn’t stand myself.

My father’s voice.

My own words that stood sharp and venomous, hurled like knives I never meant to throw.

And suddenly, I couldn’t breathe.

The hollowness was back, curling in my chest, thick and sick and suffocating. Like I was filled with smoke. Like I was going to vanish.

I didn’t cry. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. I just stood there, letting the sea claw at me, letting myself wonder...

*Was this how it ends? Not with a scream. Just a slow sinking. A silent unraveling.*

I didn’t even hear the footsteps behind me.

Didn’t hear the voice at first, either.

"Hey—hey!"

It wasn’t until I felt the sudden grip around my arm that I gasped, spinning in panic.

A man stood there, tall, towering over me like he owned the night. He wore all black, from the leather jacket that clung to his broad frame to the black pants, the T-shirt underneath that stretched across his chest. His sharp blue eyes burned into mine with a fire that was hard to ignore.

His face was partially obscured by a black mask, and a cap rested low on his head, covering streaks of white hair... hair that looked almost silver beneath the dim light.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked in a voice low but urgent. "You can’t go out that far. Are you—are you crazy?"

And just like that... the trance shattered.

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