Sweet Hatred
Chapter 190: Done Running

Chapter 190: Done Running

ARIA

I barely touched my lunch.

Sarah didn’t comment. She just talked about some campaign revamp and kept the space between us easy and undemanding. I appreciated that. I didn’t have the strength to pretend I was okay. Not today.

Not when my stomach felt like it was twisted into knots and all I could manage to swallow was the thick vanilla milkshake I ordered out of guilt for wasting the food. Even that felt too sweet, like it didn’t belong in the mouth of someone who was already rotting inside.

When we got back to the office, Rose gave me a soft smile from behind her desk. She looked up from her computer, probably waiting to say something. Maybe a good afternoon. Maybe to tell me he was here.

And I wanted to ask. God, I almost asked.

Is Kael in his office?

But the words lodged in my throat, thick and shameful. I just kept walking, clutching my drink like it was some kind of shield.

I wasn’t ready to see him. To face him. Not after how I left. Not after the way his face looked when that soap-opera played. Not when I was still trying to convince myself I didn’t miss him.

I sat at my desk and stared at my screen. My fingers hovered over the keyboard, then tapped the letter s over and over again. Just that one letter. I didn’t even know why.

S, s, s, s, s...

I was spiraling.

I hated that I wanted him. Hated that despite everything, despite the lies I told myself, the hurt, the power he held over me, I still wanted to talk to him. Touch him. Smell his damn cologne. Feel something again.

But the shame wouldn’t leave. The voice in my head wouldn’t shut up. You humiliated yourself. You let him twist you inside out. You let him mark you and now what?

I checked the time.

5:02 PM.

Close enough.

I stood too quickly, grabbed my bag, and practically ran for the exit before I could change my mind. But my steps slowed the second I stepped into the hall outside his office. My heart thumped loud and pathetic in my chest.

I stared at his door.

It looked like it always did. Cold. Closed. Untouched.

But somehow I felt him on the other side. I don’t know how, I just did. Like my skin recognized his shadow through the walls. Like some part of me could sense him the way plants reach for the sun.

My hand hovered, stupid and shaking, too afraid to knock. Too ashamed to try.

What would I even say?

Sorry I ran?

Sorry I’m weak?

Sorry I still want you even though I’m furious and scared and unraveling?

No. I couldn’t.

I walked away instead.

Ah. What a coward.

...

The apartment was loud. Too many voices. Too much chaos the second I stepped in.

"Look who finally remembered we live under the same roof," Olivia said from the kitchen, her voice that perfect mix of teasing and accusation.

I didn’t answer. I didn’t look at Michael, either. I could feel his judgment from across the room, some smug glance, some low sigh. Like I was a punishment he tolerated for Olivia’s sake.

I went straight to my room, locked the door behind me, and let my forehead rest against it.

The silence was worse than their voices.

I dropped my bag. Stripped off my clothes. Walked into the shower and stayed there until the water turned cold, and even then, I didn’t move.

I pressed my palms to the tile and tried to breathe.

Tried to remember who I was before Kael Roman crawled into my veins and rewrote me from the inside out.

When I finally stepped out, the steam clinging to me like ghosts, I grabbed a towel and sat on the edge of my bed. And that’s when I saw it.

The paper.

The one he gave me.

The address. The one my father had written and handed to Niko. The one Kael gave me even after everything, like some part of him still wanted me to find closure, even if it meant opening wounds neither of us could survive.

I’d been avoiding it for a month or two.

But not anymore.

I was done running.

I picked up my phone, stepped out of my room, and found Olivia sitting on the couch with Lily in her lap. I cleared my throat.

"Hey," I said.

She blinked at me. "Hey."

"I need a favor. Tomorrow. I want you to come with me somewhere."

She raised a brow. "Where?"

I held up the paper. My hand shook a little.

"I think it’s time we found out what kind of man our father really is now."

.....

I didn’t sleep.

I closed my eyes, sure, but sleep never came. Just shadows. Just the same goddamn reel of nightmares on repeat.

Kael’s face when I walked away. My mother’s cold hands in her casket. My father’s voice which sounded low, cruel, and unfamiliar.

Over and over. On loop. Until I thought I’d scream.

By the time the sun cracked through my window, I felt like something inside me had been scraped raw. I dragged myself out of bed anyway. Got dressed like it was a performance. Simple blouse. Fitted pants. Nothing that screamed vulnerable daughter about to confront a ghost.

I texted Rose.

~ I might be in late. Please shift my meetings to afternoon.

Thanks.

She replied instantly.

~ Of course. Let me know if you need anything.

I didn’t. I just needed this over with.

When I stepped out into the kitchen, Olivia was trying to wrestle Kaleb into his shoes. Michael stood near the counter, half-dressed in yesterday’s shirt, arguing with her about something mundane.

Probably another failed job interview. Or how she overcooked his eggs. Or how she "never listens." He always had something to complain about.

"Could you not do this right now?" Olivia hissed at him while pulling Kaleb’s backpack onto his shoulders.

Michael rolled his eyes. "Sure. Let’s pretend this isn’t the fifth time you—"

"Michael," I snapped.

He froze instantly and shut up for once.

Kaleb ran up and hugged me, his little arms warm and grounding. "You smell like soap," he said.

I kissed the top of his head. "You smell like trouble."

"Hehe," he beamed.

By the time he was out the door and the arguing quieted, Olivia turned to me with a sigh.

"You sure about this?"

I nodded. "I have to be."