Sweet Hatred
Chapter 183: Confusion

Chapter 183: Confusion

The soft click hadn’t even fully echoed before the door opened again.

And there he was.

Kael.

Unbothered. Of course.

He stepped in casually, like he hadn’t just been ambushed by a woman calling herself his fiancée two minutes ago. Like I hadn’t practically sprinted out of the war zone.

He shut the door behind him without a sound. I straightened up, smoothing the front of my blouse, trying to tuck all the crazy back inside me. I could do calm. I could do poised. This wasn’t my first time pretending I hadn’t just been hit by a train.

He leaned against the edge of the wall, his expression unreadable but his voice... lower, gentler. Detached, but warm.

"I thought about making a joke," he said finally, "but I didn’t want to risk you throwing something at me."

My lips twitched. Barely.

He walked in further, a hint of that teasing smirk tugging at his mouth like nothing had even happened, like he could just slip back into that magnetic pull between us without missing a beat.

But I, I wasn’t in the mood. Not now. Not when I felt like the ground under me was already cracking.

"Did she bother you?" he asked.

That did it.

The humiliation hit like a slow slap. That was what he saw? Me looking bothered? Jealous? Like some pitiful little girl unable to mask her own spiral?

God. I hated this.

I looked away, inhaling like maybe if I breathed slow enough, I could freeze my insides. I didn’t even notice him move until his hand was around my waist. Gently.

He brushed my hair to the side, fingers warm against my cheek as he tilted my face up to him.

"She’s not a problem," he said softly. "If that’s what you’re worried about. I’ll take care of it."

And instead of relief, there was something worse.

Ache. I didn’t know why. I couldn’t explain it. But something inside me winced. I let out a breath that turned into a quiet, bitter chuckle.

"Why are you saying that to me?"

My voice was calm. But my insides were shattering.

I pulled away before he could answer, moving around my desk and sinking into my chair like I needed something solid beneath me.

"You’re talking like I’m the one you want to marry instead," I said, barely recognizing my own voice. "If someone heard you, they might get the wrong idea that we’re anything more than... what? Fuck buddies. Maybe friends, if we’re generous. I mean.. we did celebrate your birthday together."

The words tasted like blood.

His face changed. Just for a second. A flicker of something, hurt? I blinked it away. No. I was imagining that.

He didn’t care like that. I meant he did... in the past... just not for me. Or maybe he did care for me... just not in the way I wanted right now.

God, Aria.

I gave him the most practiced smile I could conjure.

"But it’s none of my business, really. You can do whatever you want, Kael. Just... let me know when you’re tired of the contract. I’ll step away when you do."

There. I’d done it. Said it.

Every cell in my body was screaming at me, clawing at the walls of my chest, asking why? But I kept the smile on.

Kael’s brows hung for a second before dropping. He let out a low chuckle. The kind that didn’t reach his eyes.

"Right," he murmured. His voice didn’t sound amused.

Then he straightened, flashing me a too-perfect smile of his own. It was sharp and shiny and hollow.

"I’ll come pick you up for lunch."

"You don’t need to," I said quickly.

He raised a brow. "Why not?"

"I’m seeing Sarah," I replied, looking away again. "We haven’t caught up in a while."

"Why?" he asked again, like the word was somehow new to him. "You and Sarah can always meet another time."

"There’s hardly time," I said, sharper than I meant to. "Since I’m always around you anyway."

He stilled.

I didn’t even have to look to feel the tension wrap around his body like armor. Then, just as fast, it loosened. He exhaled, stepping back toward the door.

"I’ll come check in with you this afternoon anyway," he said, voice confident like he knew he’d always get his way anyways. Except he won’t this time.

And then he left, leaving me behind. With everything unsaid. Everything unraveling. And a smile still painted on my lips like it meant anything.

The second the door clicked shut again, I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. My chest ached like I’d been punched.

"I’m a piece of shit," I muttered to myself, dragging my palms down my face. "God, you outdid myself by a mile Aria."

Fuck buddies. Maybe friends. That’s what I said. Out loud. To his face.

Like we hadn’t spent the last two days toeing the line of something dangerously close to lovers.

Like I hadn’t surprised him with a whole amusement park, laughed with him over cards, kissed him slow and stupid under dim light. Like I hadn’t watched him sleep and traced my fingers down his spine, brushing his hair like I could learn him by touch alone.

Like I hadn’t cared. My stomach twisted. Shame clawed its way up my throat.

I sat back in my chair, arms folded tightly like I could hold myself together.

And maybe that was the problem.

Maybe that’s why it was so fucking dangerous to get comfortable. Because the second I did... the second I started letting myself think maybe this—we—meant something more, I did what I always do.

I ruined it.

Because the truth was, I didn’t know what Kael felt.

I didn’t know if this was just sex for him, a warm body when the world got too cold. I didn’t know what he wanted from me beyond what we had already. And I—I didn’t know what I wanted either.

No. That was a lie.

I wanted him.

Every confusing, complicated, possessive inch of him.

I wanted him when he was grinning like a smug bastard, and I wanted him when he was feverish and letting me take care of him like it might be the death of him. I wanted him when he was being cruel and when he was being kind. I wanted him when he was Kael Roman, the Roman heir, and when he was just Kael, looking at me like I was the only thing in the room.

And I was losing my mind pretending I didn’t.