Sweet Hatred
Chapter 147: How to fall out

Chapter 147: How to fall out

His knuckles whitened on the steering wheel.

"I would’ve done something."

"I know. That’s why I didn’t tell you."

His lips parted like he was going to argue—but nothing came out.

The silence returned, but this time it was heavier. Not sharp like before, just... sadder. And I hated it more than the coldness. Because not just because I felt sorry for him but because he reminded me of days I buried in my past. Days of torment...

"Kael," I said softly. "He’s the reason you left, isn’t he?"

The car kept moving through the sleeping beauty of Rome. But for a second, I wasn’t sure if he was breathing.

Then—

"You think it was just him?" Kael said quietly. "Don’t insult me."

I turned to him, but he wasn’t looking at me.

"Every room in that house had his shadow in it," he said. "Even when he wasn’t there. And when he was... the walls would breathe with him. That’s what it felt like. Like you were only allowed to exist if he allowed it."

His voice cracked, just once, before hardening again. "And Andrew... was always his favorite actor. The one who smiled best."

I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what words would help.

So I did the only thing I could—I reached across the console and rested my hand over his.

He didn’t move for a long moment. Then his fingers tightened around mine. And we drove like that, under the sleeping city, with all our wounds unspoken but felt.

The car finally slowed and rolled to a stop at the center of the bridge, where the view opened like something sacred. Below, the Tiber River shimmered with scattered lights, the reflections of ancient buildings dancing across its gentle surface. Rome, in all her haunted beauty, glowed behind us—gold and blue and black.

Kael didn’t move at first. He just sat there, then leaned forward, resting his forehead on the steering wheel with a slow, quiet sigh.

I stayed still for a beat, my eyes fixed on him.

"Are you angry?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

He didn’t answer.

A part of me bristled. I didn’t know why. Maybe it was the silence, or how distant he felt. This version of him wasn’t familiar. I didn’t know how to read it, didn’t know how to be around it. And it was scraping at the surface of things I fought to forget about my own damn self.

So I broke the quiet again. "I’m sorry."

That got his attention—he turned his head a little, but I wasn’t looking at him now.

"I’m sorry for two things," I continued. "One... for not telling you your father visited. And two... for dragging you to that wedding. If I hadn’t, you wouldn’t have had to see them."

I didn’t wait for him to respond.

The apology left my lips like a breath I’d been holding too long, and then I opened the door and stepped out, letting the cool night air rush In before closing it gently behind me.

I walked toward the edge of the bridge and leaned against the railing, arms folded on the cold iron, eyes fixed on the water like it had the answers I couldn’t find in him.

I stayed there, pressed against the railing, the night wind brushing my skin, my dress swaying lightly around my legs.

I didn’t know why I care so much.

I shouldn’t. Kael Roman was... complicated. He was frustrating and secretive and sharp around the edges—but I cared. God, I cared. And I hated that I did.

I kept wondering how he grew up.What kind of childhood he had, was it like mine? What it must have been like being raised by a man like Ewan Roman, with a brother who looked like he stepped out of a luxury magazine but hid poison behind his smile. Was it always cold like that? Was Kael always alone? Or was it a warzone the way it was for me too?

And why did it hurt so much when he shut down? Why did the chill in his voice slice deeper than it should?

I could feel my eyes burning. That awful, hot sting sitting right behind them. But the tears didn’t fall. They never did. Not since middle school. It was like my eyes forgot how.

Then I heard him behind me.

His presence slipped in like a shadow, and then he was there his body warm and solid as he caged me in from behind, arms on either side of me, breath soft against my ear.

"When I found out my father visited you..." he began with a low tight voice, like a thread pulled too far, "my mind went dark with a million thoughts, and every one of them ended with someone I love disappearing. Just like before. Always because of him."

I froze.

That word.

Love.

He said it like it still meant something. Like it hadn’t been buried. Like it wasn’t just about ghosts and graves but something here. Now.

My heart stuttered, jumped like it didn’t know what to do with itself. But before I could speak, he was already pulling me back under, his voice like gravity.

"You don’t need to be sorry, Aria," he said, softer now. "I actually had a nice time at the wedding."

A pause.

"Before it got ruined, obviously."

I didn’t laugh. I knew what he was doing, trying to play it off, trying to be okay. But he wasn’t. I could feel it in the silence between us, in the way he was pretending he wasn’t falling apart right behind me.

Maybe he doesn’t trust me enough yet. Maybe his past is still his alone.

His voice cut through my thoughts again. "I thought that would make you laugh," he murmured. "Or at least cuss me out."

But I stayed quiet.

His arms didn’t move.

So I turned slowly and held out my hand.

"My panty," I said dryly, eyes narrowing. "I want it back. I can feel the wind brushing through my small field."

Kael burst into a low chuckle, head falling forward against mine.

"No," he said, shameless. "I’m not giving it back."

I clicked my tongue and scowled up at him. "Why are you so damn stubborn?" I muttered. "Just give me my damn panty. What did it ever do to you?"

Kael’s mouth curved into a maddening smirk, that lazy, cocky one that always made my knees a little weak. "Nothing," he said, voice dipping low, warm with mischief. "But the owner? She drives me insane in all the right ways."

I hated how fast my face heated. I hated how my lips curled into a smile without my permission.

We looked at each other, standing there on the bridge in the middle of Rome, cars slipping past behind us in streaks of red and white, the water glittering beneath the moonlight. But it all blurred.

The lights, the noise, the cold air, it all faded.

All I could see was him.

Kael.

His eyes, impossibly dark but somehow soft tonight. His hand still hovering near mine. His scent, woodsy and sharp, grounding me.

And in that moment... I forgot we were on a damn highway.

I forgot how we got here.

All I knew, achingly, stupidly, terrifyingly, was that I’d fallen in love with him.

And I didn’t know how to fall out.

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