Super Righteous Player
Chapter 857 - 394: Scholar Lu Calls an Insider (Two in One)_2

Chapter 857: Chapter 394: Scholar Lu Calls an Insider (Two in One)_2

From this perspective, what he had told Annan about the information on "Chiron"... might not actually have been intended to mislead Annan.

——The truth was, it was possible that he himself could no longer clearly remember.

So he modified his memories subconsciously, in the direction he preferred.

The memories of his first life that he retained were nowhere near enough to sustain the personality associated with the identity of "Philip Flamel."

Or rather...

Every time Philip used the Fourth History for future reincarnations, it was essentially the same as erasing his old personality.

This was definitely not something the original Philip would have wanted to see.

But at this point, it was impossible for him to stop.

To stop would be to deny the previous "Philip’s" raison d’être.

...Perhaps the reason he now plans to stop reincarnating is that he had forgotten the obsession that had initially led him to decide to reincarnate.

"...I’m not lying to you. I truly... can’t remember what you’re talking about anymore."

Philip finally spoke up.

The carefree smile was no longer on his face, and his voice had deepened, "But there is one thing you got wrong.

"I wasn’t trying to find the blank Book of Truth from Chiron... I’ve lived enough. No, more precisely speaking... I no longer know the reason to keep living.

"I’ve forgotten something very important. I’ve also forgotten people who were once very important to me. Yet, I’ve even forgotten what it was that I have forgotten."

Philip spoke slowly, "I just feel that I have lived for so long, my life has spanned hundreds of years... If it ends in an ugly way, then it would have been a life wasted.

"I remember a long, long time ago, someone asked me: ’If you could live for another three years, what would you do?’ I can’t remember who asked it anymore, nor do I know how I answered at the time.

"But if the current me were to answer this question... then all I would want is to indulge. I don’t want to think about anything anymore, I want to live a peaceful and happy life, I want a final rest...

"I’m already so tired."

Philip raised his hand again, holding the piece of honey-roasted meat that had grown cold in his hand, and fiercely tore off a chunk, chewing it slowly.

The cooled-off meat obviously wasn’t as appetizing anymore. The honey and fat had congealed into a thin layer of grease, one could tell the texture wouldn’t be good just by looking.

But he chewed on it earnestly as if the food in his mouth was a delicacy, consuming it greedily with the expression of it being utterly delicious.

His voice was muffled as he said, "I don’t want to think about that stuff anymore.

"You truly misunderstood me... Lord Victor. I don’t want the cursed relic lost in the depths of the sea, nor do I want to become a god. I may once have been a Transcendent of the Gold rank, but I... no longer have such strong desires."

Not having such strong desires—was that all?

Annan could sense that this was indeed the truth.

Or rather, all of these were truths. But they were not the whole truth.

Watching Philip eat meat voraciously, Annan vaguely caught another layer of meaning.

Every reincarnation also requires a quarter of one’s desires as the cost. So why does Prince Philip always act gluttonous and lascivious, gorging on meat and wine wherever he goes, and constantly chewing on his specially made Devil’s Blood Candy?

Perhaps the answer was that he had long since lost his true desires.

Even indulgence itself may not be his desire.

——He was forcing himself to indulge.

The memory of Philip’s first life that remained in his brain was like a wound that had healed.

It could go unnoticed on a day-to-day basis, but occasionally there would still be that fleeting phantom pain... If he touched it deliberately, the scar would become very noticeable.

Annan suddenly remembered the words Philip had said to him the first time they met in a nightmare.

Both in the real world’s first life and the nightmare’s second life, Annan had not yet influenced Philip. That is to say, the words Philip had said to Annan in the nightmare were basically what he said when he met the first cycle’s Annan.

——I can see you have a soul that pursues pleasure and is unbound.

——If one day you feel suffocated and wish to break free from the chains that bind your fate... you’re welcome to seek me out.

If you think about it carefully, you’ll notice something’s amiss.

Such words could be spoken by an ignored illegitimate child of a noble or a commoner with poor family conditions.

But he, as one of the successors to the throne of the Kingdom of Noah, and even a prince with a high place in the order of succession... having lived a life of luxury, where would he find "the chains that bind fate"?

Did he view the mission to become king as the chains binding his fate?

——Of course not.

Now Annan finally understood the meaning of this sentence.

As Flamell’s (the Wise) blood still affected Philip, even though his wisdom had diminished to the level of a mortal, Philip’s perspective and experience were such that he immediately identified Annan as "not of this world".

Or rather, he didn’t specifically deduce that Annan was a transmigrator.

But rather "at least a reincarnated one," meaning one with a "first life." That’s why Annan, at such a young age, could behave with such maturity.

——Just like himself back in the day.

The so-called "chains that bind fate" referred to the memories of a previous life. Or in other words, the conflict between the memories of a past life and one’s current identity.

"——Man is a Machine driven by desires."

Annan spoke softly, "What difference is there between a life without desires and a puppet?"

Upon hearing this, Philip’s body stiffened once more.

This was something Philip once said to Annan.

Indeed, it was a reflection from his heart.

Because he thought Annan "might be of the same kind," and at the same time Annan still looked like a child, it was with mixed feelings that he subconsciously blurted out that sentence.

Generally speaking, it’s not easy for heirs to the throne... especially when relations among the successors are poor, to reveal their inner thoughts.

Because it could often betray their true desires. It might expose their objectives.

"You once told me... what you sought was ’youth’."

Annan spoke slowly, "You remember, don’t you?"

"...Yes."

Philip nodded in agreement.

He recalled, "And at that time, you asked me...’If you had to choose one from youth, would you choose never aging over immortality?’"

Annan remembered that Philip’s response had been a standard adult reply.

——I want it all.

But Annan’s way of asking was not exactly the same as the first time around.

Nowadays, Annan would consider other people’s thoughts, and his words would become more diplomatic, giving people the impression of "adapting"... or perhaps "evading."

However, the first-time Annan was not so easy to get along with.

He was cold and indifferent towards most people who had no utility value — even someone like Bella, a familiar person, could be abandoned without hesitation if necessary, let alone strangers he had never met.

It was for this reason that he had given such a strong sense of oppression to Selicia back then.

And his question to Philip naturally did not leave room for avoidance.

"I did say ’I want it all’... that was indeed what I truly thought. But then you pressed further, ’If you could only choose one?’"

At this point, Philip showed a self-deprecating smile, "I must thank you.

"That was the moment when I finally began to vaguely realize... what I truly wanted in the depths of my heart."

"What you wanted was ’to never age’."

Annan answered softly.

That was the anomaly in history.

He hadn’t pursued this answer further at the time. Of course, there also was the reason that he wasn’t as perceptive as his other self, and that he didn’t care as much about Philip either.

To Annan, Philip wasn’t special enough and could be "kind to others."

Yet even so, based solely on the profile of Philip that Annan observed during their conversation here, he could deduce what kind of person Philip was.

He could only, and would only in that moment, choose — "to never age."

"Yes."

Philip replied, "It was then that I realized...

"Perhaps, I actually wished to die."

"——So," Annan watched him closely, "why don’t you just die?"

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