Strongest Scammer: Scamming The World, One Death At A Time
Chapter 94: Honorary Member Cheese Finger Han Yu

Chapter 94: Honorary Member Cheese Finger Han Yu

The Overseers’ words failed spectacularly. The other servants only looked more defeated.

With the duties assigned—unchangeable by divine law—they all headed out to begin another exhausting day.

Han Yu, however, had no idea a message was already on its way... one that could change the course of his rat-tastic destiny.

By the time the sun was high and merciless, Han Yu was on his third trip hauling water buckets the size of his dreams—heavy, leaky, and full of disappointment.

"Why is this sect so obsessed with water?" he muttered, staggering under the weight. "We cultivate Qi, not hydration!"

Fatty Kui trudged beside him like a dying ox, his robe sticking to his back like it had fused with his skin.

"I think my spine just learned how to scream," he wheezed.

"Pretty sure mine left my body two trips ago," Han Yu grumbled. "It’s floating around here somewhere, waving goodbye."

They reached another water tank, dumped the buckets with the elegance of collapsing bridges, and flopped onto the nearest stone bench like men who had just fought a war and lost.

Then came the squeak.

Squeak! Squeak!

Han Yu blinked. "Wait... did you hear that?"

Fatty Kui moaned, "If it’s not food or death, I don’t care."

But Han Yu stood up, scanning the area. From the shadow of a nearby wall, a small rat poked its head out. On its back was a tiny scroll tied with an even tinier string.

"...I think my message got answered," Han Yu whispered dramatically.

The rat scampered over, dropped the scroll by his foot, then gave him a look that clearly said, You owe me more peanuts next time, peasant. With a squeak of indignation, it turned and disappeared.

Han Yu picked up the scroll and carefully unrolled it.

To: Honorary Member Cheese Finger Han Yu

From: The Esteemed SHH Council

Your request has been acknowledged. Meet our representative behind Latrine Block C at the third gong. Bring two walnuts and a dried fig as tribute. DO NOT bring witnesses. Especially not Fatty Kui. He talks too much. We’ve listened. It’s unbearable.

Signed,

-Whisker Agent No. 7

Han Yu snorted. "Cheese Finger? Really?"

"What’s funny?" Fatty Kui asked, wiping sweat from his brow with a sleeve that probably caused more harm than good.

"Nothing. Just hallucinating from water trauma," Han Yu replied quickly, tucking the scroll into his sleeve.

Fatty Kui shrugged. "Makes sense. I once hallucinated that a cabbage tried to fight me."

Han Yu decided not to unpack that and instead looked up at the sky.

Third gong... that gives me enough time to complete water duty, bribe a squirrel, and make it to the meeting.

By the time they finished their laborious duty, Han Yu’s arms felt like noodles left in boiling soup too long. He returned to the dormitory, collapsed on the bed, and waited for the third gong while munching on some nuts he had stashed in a loose floorboard. The dried fig was the hard part—it cost him a thirty copper coins and the last bit of his dignity from haggling with an old servant lady who may or may not be part demon.

’Who knew dried figs were so hard to get here...’ Han Yu thought.

GONG! GONG! GONG!

The third gong echoed through the servant quarter like a divine command.

Han Yu sprang to his feet, adrenaline and ambition flooding his system. He threw on a spare cloak, tucked the tribute into a cloth pouch, and slipped out with all the stealth of a man who didn’t want to die for dried fruit.

Latrine Block C was quiet. Too quiet.

Then, a stone shifted behind a pile of cleaning buckets.

Out popped a rat in a tiny hood.

"You’re Whisker No. 7?" Han Yu whispered.

The rat did a backflip and struck a pose. Somehow, this confirmed it.

Han Yu handed over the tribute. The rat inspected it like a suspicious vendor, nodded, then tugged a small string. A plank in the nearby wall popped open with a soft click.

Han Yu leaned closer and saw a ladder descending into darkness.

"...Of course," he muttered. "Can’t be a SHH meeting without a sketchy secret tunnel."

He took a deep breath and climbed down.

What awaited him below was not what he expected.

It was... a room. A surprisingly cozy room. Dim lanterns lined the walls, a pile of tattered cushions formed a meeting circle, and a tiny brazier sat in the middle, giving off faint warmth. Several rats sat in council—some wore miniature robes, others had tiny tools. One wore glasses.

He had stumbled into the underground rat parliament.

’Rat’s and not the servants from before?’ Han Yu was surrpsied.

One rat stepped forward and squeaked something. Another translated from a tiny scroll:

"We welcome Cheese Finger, the initiate who survived meeting the Small Alchemist Demon Child."

"...That’s what you call her too?" Han Yu blinked.

"Yes. She is feared by all. Especially the test subjects. Rest in peace, Thistle Tail."

A moment of solemn squeaks followed.

Then, the rat with glasses squeaked again.

"We have heard your plight. You seek strength. And you seek meat."

Han Yu nodded. "Yes. I’m tired of being stepped on, literally and figuratively."

The rats all nodded solemnly.

"Then it is time to enter Phase Two of the Cheese Gambit."

Han Yu blinked. "The what?"

"We will help you. For you help us. Bring us twenty fire-cooked peanuts, three chicken bones, and one sock from a female cultivator. We give you meat. And secrets."

Han Yu’s face twisted.

"...You just made that up, didn’t you?"

The rat adjusted its glasses and squeaked again.

"We are very serious."

Han Yu sighed.

"Fine. But you better not be messing with me. I’ve already risked my life for peanuts once this week."

The rat nodded.

"Glory to the SHH."

"Glory to the SHH," Han Yu replied, unsure if he had just joined a revolution or a culinary cult.

Either way, he was in.

And if fate had anything to say about it, so were a whole lot more hijinks.