Strongest Scammer: Scamming The World, One Death At A Time
Chapter 86: Laundry, Lies, and the League of Cheddar

Chapter 86: Laundry, Lies, and the League of Cheddar

With the competition over, Han Yu got his reward from the Outer Court Disciple who had come to confirm the task.

"Thirty Silver Coins and Two Meal tickets for the Mess Hall." The Outer Court disciple said in a plain voice before taking his leave.

He had many things to do and couldn’t be bothered to waste time here even if he recognized the servant to be the infamous, Han Yu.

With him gone, Han Yu returned to the domitory to clean up, eat and train for a bit before retreating for the night.

In the dim light of an oil lamp that puffed out more soot than it let out light, Han Yu and Fatty Kui were in deep discussion.

"Okay, so if we can get ten more rats, teach them tricks, and put tiny hats on them, we can start a street performance troupe. We’ll call it ’The Rat Pack.’" Fatty Kui scribbled notes furiously about the ridiculous plan he had been discussing with Han Yu. "I’m sure within a year we’ll have saved up enough to get at least three spirit stones." He said with confidence of a stock market broker.

Han Yu nodded. "I like it. But first, we need more peanuts." They had been crucial in gaining the favor of the spirit rat.

’If there’s one, there’s bound to be more like it. After all this is cultivation sect, and not just any cultivation sect but one of the top ten on the continent.’ Han Yu thought to himself. ’With the sheer number of rats that might be present, there should definitely be at least a handful that gained intelligence somehow.’ he reckoned.

He lay back on his mat, hands behind his head, eyes on the same star above. He watched carefully, remembering the pigeon that seemed to like to use his head as a latrine. And when he saw nothing, Han Yu let out a breath of relief.

"Step one: Befriend rats.

Step two: Weaponize cuteness.

Step three: Topple the sect."

Fatty Kui frowned. "Shouldn’t step three be ’become a disciple’?"

Han Yu smirked.

"Same thing."

The next day began with precisely the kind of ominous energy Han Yu had learned to fear.

It started with silence.

Dormitory Nine usually buzzed with complaints, snores, and at least one accidental explosion from the boy who snuck in defective talismans that were intended to be disposed off in the furnace. But today, as Han Yu groggily sat up, the room was quiet.

Too quiet.

Then the door burst open.

"Han Yu!" bellowed a voice that sounded like a gong having an aneurysm.

Zhen Shi stormed in, holding a scroll like it was a death warrant. He tossed it onto Han Yu’s lap. He had been upset that Han Yu had won the competition yesterday, especially since the bonus had come out of HIS paycheck.

"Disciplinary summons?" Han Yu blinked. "Is this because of the rats?"

"You weaponized rodents!"

"They volunteered."

"You named them!"

"I only named one!" Han Yu protested. "And his name is Daoist Little Rat." He stated.

Zhen Shi growled, "You are to report to the Outer Court Disciplinary Pavilion by noon. You’ve been accused of... and I quote... ’establishing a rodent-based intelligence network within sect borders.’"

Han Yu stood up, eyes wide. ’So they figured it out.’ Though he didn’t know how.

He could only hope that it was an arrow in the dark and that Zhen Sui was merely trying to frame him blindly.

Fatty Kui gasped. "Wait. Is the Peanut Protocol compromised?" he came close to Han Yu and whispered in his ear.

"...I don’t know yet," Han Yu muttered, dramatically narrowing his eyes.

Later: The Disciplinary Pavilion

The pavilion was tall, dark, and incredibly dramatic. It looked like a place where dreams came to die—usually screaming.

Inside, Han Yu sat across from three Outer Court disciples, who looked like they hadn’t smiled since the Sect was founded.

"Han Yu," the center one said, peering down at him with all the warmth of a glacier, "you stand accused of consorting with spiritual vermin."

"I prefer the term ’strategic alliance.’"

"You are not helping your case."

"Am I being judged or offered a promotion? Because if your intelligence network’s as bad as your laundry system, I might be the upgrade you need."

A few moments of silence passed. One of the disciples coughed to hide a laugh. Han Yu smirked at that.

’I knew my silver tongue will always come in handy.’ Han Yu thought. ’Once they laugh, they like you and soon you’ll have them in the palm of your hand.’ He knew the ways of the world.

The lead disciple frowned deeper. "We have a testimony from Shen Tu, who claims you bribed a spirit beast."

Han Yu leaned forward. "And I claim Shen Tu once tried to put chili oil in someone’s bathwater."

The other disciple blinked. "He what?"

"Check his quarters. He has a stash of fried dumpling wrappers, spicy mustard and a bowl full of chilli oil. He’s unhinged." Han Yu said with a deadpan face.

The three outer court disciples didn’t know what to say now.

The ’hearing’ continued somehow, and the result was decided.

Turns out, spirit rats were not technically forbidden, just... highly discouraged. Especially when they could sneak into places,deliver messages and possibly open locks. But who knew for sure.

Han Yu left with a warning, a five-day probation, and an official note that read:

"Han Yu is not to be trusted with rodents, messenger birds, or spiritual mollusks of any kind."

The first was obvious, the second was a bit confusing but the third one simply didn’t make sense.

’Do they expect me to find some smart spirit octopus or something?’ Han Yu couldn’t help but wonder as he left.

Later that afternoon Han Yu had a bit of a break, ate some food, trained for half an hour before finally returning to his duties. Except much to his luck, Han Yu was "accidentally" reassigned by Shen Tu to Laundry Detail.