Strongest Among the Heavens
Chapter 304: It’s Okay

Chapter 304: It’s Okay

"In the end, the mother chose what to get for them. A mother knows best, right? They seemed satisfied too, except for when the mother asked for a small bite. They wanted to say no, I could see it in their eyes, but boys will be boys. Even when they want something, sometimes, they won’t say it. They keep it inside themselves."

Right, well, Marta didn’t have brothers or a boyfriend so she couldn’t exactly relate or understand the opposite gender.

Elena continued, her smile widening, her eyes wrinkling and her pupils suddenly growing distant. "It reminded me of my husband. He was a wonderful, wonderful man. He was a construction worker too and he always, always hated telling whenever he got injured. We met in high school and got married as soon as we graduated. We had our first son, a beautiful little boy. Unfortunately, I did feel..." She disliked admitting. She didn’t want to say it herself. A lump appeared in her throat and she swallowed it down. "...miffed I couldn’t birth him myself. I had a C-section, see?" The smile she wore was full of fake delight. "I didn’t hate it but it did leave me bitter."

That...didn’t make much sense to Marta. Giving birth was giving birth. Then again, she wasn’t a mother. On social media, she remembered watching and reading horrific posts of women post-partum and the intensive thoughts, feelings, and stories during that period. So Marta tried to smile and tried to understand. She wasn’t sure how much she succeeded.

Elena responded and talked faster. "I was so incessant about having no C-section. Our second son was born perfectly." Elena’s voice suddenly softened. "Then a year later, we learned he had cerebral palsy. It was the same for our third son. We learned he had Down’s syndrome and he...I...." She had to go back to the happy moments. Elena wasn’t sure if she could. "My second and third sons were natural births. I was so happy. So, so happy. But because of me..."

The raw emotion in Elena’s voice caused Marta’s lips to tremble with her.

"I feel like I’m going crazy," Elena admitted, her eyes glistening. "I want to touch them, see them, but I’m dead and they won’t come here."

Pain and love was oozing from her. Marta wanted to offer some comfort. All she could manage was touching her shoulder. Elena jolted but slowly relaxed into it. She wiped the tears from her eyes and wore a big smile.

"I remembered hating myself so much, Marta. I thought God was cursing me, telling me that I didn’t deserve to give birth. I sometimes still think that. But...my boys grew up to be wonderful, dependable young men. They don’t need me. I know they’ll be okay. I know they will. And...I know you will be too."

Marta looked away. She opened her mouth, wanting to say, "I’m not your son," but Elena kept going.

"I always secretly wished for a daughter. I loved my boys with all my heart, but there was always this tiny hope for a girl." From the corner of her eye, she saw Elena’s bright smile. Marta had never seen a woman with more heart and love than her. "I’m glad I met you. Now I know how hard it is."

It was a joke. A joke that almost got Marta to laugh.

The laugh was suppressed because guilt gnawed at her insides. Elena’s warmth was spreading to her. Marta took a shaky breath, her throat swallowing the thick fear inside her. Voice cracking, she finally spoke, "Elena, I... I’m so sorry for hitting you last time. I didn’t mean to—"

Elena smiled gently, her hand reaching out to Marta’s. The warm flesh that lovingly caressed the cold metal. "It’s okay, Marta. It’s okay."

That was it.

That was all it took to melt away her guilt.

"It’s okay."

In that kind, loving tone.

In a way her own mother never really spoke to her.

In a way that Marta wished someone had before.

Marta wanted to cry. It took everything she had not to. ’You have glasses, idiot. Don’t mess them up. They’re a gift from her.’ She pointed her head down to stop her from seeing the blurriness in her eyes.

Elena beamed at her. For her sake, she gestured to the books on the floor and changed topics. "What about those books? You read a lot, don’t you? My boys never did. They were smart but never liked reading until they had to."

Marta inhaled and exhaled. Don’t voice crack, don’t voice crack...

"Kazi and David got them for me. I was bored and since there’s no computers, they got them for me."

"I liked reading too when I was young. But after I got married and had my first, I stopped."

Elena picked up the one book out of the lot that Kazi and David hadn’t given to her. This was ’Magic and Anatomy’ and Marta read it in order to replicate the healing spell she saw Commander Cedric do in his office when William was hurt.

"Ooh, yes, you’re a healer! I heard from Kazi that you were able to learn an advanced healing spell very quickly." Elena was praising her without hiding it. Marta didn’t know whether she was trying to butter her up or not but regardless it was working.

"Ah...sort of. It was Commander Cedric’s healing spell," Marta explained. "I spent nights trying to copy it after I saw him do it on William. I got that book to try and help. I didn’t get much in the way of results until...until Sun-young got hurt. I don’t know how but I was able to do it in that moment."

And doing it once allowed her to use it forever. It wasn’t talent, it was the System.

"That’s amazing," Elena said, her smile broadening. "I mean, I don’t really know how amazing, but it sounds amazing to me."

"T-thank you."

For the first time in weeks, Marta smiled.

Then, her shoulders shook, she let out a weak gasp, a hiccup, and she cried in Elena’s arms.

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