Stars In His Eyes
Chapter 398 Shang Cunshu Incident 7_1

Chapter 398: Chapter 398 Shang Cunshu Incident 7_1

"I’m sorry, I didn’t know where else to go, so I unconsciously ended up here, thinking of you. I hope I’m not disturbing you?" Ding Jinshi lit a cigarette and ordered the waitress to bring both wine and a soft drink. She knew He Zhilan didn’t drink alcohol, so she ordered a soft drink for her. She just needed someone to keep her company. Nothing more."

"What about Chen Shan?" He Zhilan asked casually, pouring wine for Ding Jinshi. "Regardless, drink less. It harms the body. Smoke less, it’s bad for your health. Zhou Chenyue cares deeply about you."

"Her? Without the big tree that is you, Liu Jiang is now acting like a lovesick fool, chasing his ex-fiancée around. She fled the city to avoid him. I didn’t invite her to my wedding because it is not going to be a happy one anyway. There would be no point in her attending." Ding Jinshi did not invite any of her own friends to the wedding taking place tomorrow.

At that moment, she wanted to go see Zhou Chenyue, but was worried it would burden him and feared he would blame himself. Therefore, she ended up being alone. After all, she had just returned from abroad and hardly knew anyone. The number of people that she could genuinely confide in was even fewer, and the ones who could understand her pain were countable on one hand.

"I thought that once Ding Long’s company was in trouble, you wouldn’t have to marry him anymore," He Zhilan sighed. "I didn’t expect you still would."

"Him? It’s taken great effort to get engaged as he wanted. Unless the sky falls, he won’t call off this wedding. He Zhilan, you don’t know, Ding Long had been in love with me for a decade, yet I couldn’t bring myself to love him in return. What if it was him that I fell in love with in the first place instead of Lan Li? Why does fate have such a cruel sense of humor? The one that loves me, I do not love; the one I love, does not reciprocate, own, cherish, or care for me. Isn’t life just about making these bitter choices? If only I could love Ding Long, everything would be perfect, right? But why can’t my heart listen to reason? Why is it still so infatuated with Lan Li? Every time I mention his name, it feels like my heart is being ripped apart!"

He Zhilan just quietly listened to Ding Jinshi, watching her puff on her cigarette. She was gulping down beer, tears streaming down her face. For a moment, He Zhilan desperately wanted to find Lan Li and ask him. Seeing his ex-lover suffer in this way, didn’t his conscience bother him at all?

"Marrying a man I don’t love is not such a big deal. It’s just that, when he takes my hand, I want to shake him off; when he tenderly kisses me, I can’t help but think of the one in my heart. Listening to him talk about our future, I feel no happiness at all. It feels as if my heart is suddenly empty, as if the heartbeat has ceased, as if it’s dead." Ding Jinshi’s hand holding the cigarette was shaking violently. "Do you know what, He Zhilan? Right before I came here, I thought, life is so painful, maybe it would be easier to die. But then I realized I’m too weak, I don’t even have the courage to die! I want to die, but I’m scared. I’m scared to leave my mess for someone else to clean up. No matter how difficult my path is, I’ve got to grit my teeth and soldier on alone. How I wish life were just a second long, a blink of an eye, and I could end it peacefully."

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