Stand By Me Darling -
Chapter 354: Changed Ambition
Chapter 354: Changed Ambition
Jolene felt her heart tug by the honest confession of the man and turned to look at him. His eyes were misty, his lips were pink and glistening, and the fringes of his messy brown hair fell on his forehead and made him look vulnerable unlike his usual sleek style.
Her heart raced and she felt weak in her knees.
As a teenager, she had dreamt of the day Lambert would say these words to her. And today, he is saying those words to her with utmost sincerity.
But she is not a teenager anymore.
Yes, it hurts being away from him, but she needs to get used to it.
"Jolene, here I am, laying bare the feelings in my heart and the least you could do is being honest with me. Do you love me?"
Lambert repeated seeing Jolene bowing her head still unwilling to be honest with him. She looked at him with a smile and Lambert expected her answer.
"You’re feelings are not the only thing bare here - you’re too! Aren’t you going to-"
"Come on Jolene! Please," a sigh left his mouth inadvertently. "I can’t figure you out and that hurts my brain. The way you kiss me and the way you enjoy s*x together makes me want to believe that you love me. But..."
"Fine, Lambert. I’ll be honest." Jolene rubbed her face with both her hands and taking in a deep breath, looked at Lambert in the eye. "I love you. In fact I’ve loved you for more than ten years. Ever since the day I saw you in the school, I had a crush on you. And ever since you became my desk-mate, I fell in love with you. I like everything about you, even the fact that you like to wear cartoonish socks." Her throat almost closed as she expressed her feelings, but she felt her heart getting light and liberated as she acknowledged the truth.
"I miss you dearly when I can’t have at least a glance at you and being near you brings me happiness. But I cannot date you and I don’t want to fall deeper for you."
She bowed her head once more. The pain that was gone when she confessed her love, smashed on her like a strong tidal wave making her unable to stand firmly. She’s been having these dilemmas of whether to accept his love or not for a long time. And each time she is leaning closer to not love him anymore.
"Why?" Lambert tried to walk closer, but she took a step back and he paused. He could see her eyes filled to the brim with tears and she desperately tried to control her emotions. His heart hurt seeing her like that and he chided himself for feeling sorry for the one he is supposed to be mad at.
Why can’t she date me if she loves me?
"Is it because I’m a member of the Royal family? You’re the sole heir of a Baronage and you’ll lose that title once you marry me? Or is it because of your company which you cannot manage once you become my wife? I understand you stand to lose a lot by marrying me, but can’t we at least date and figure out the rest as we develop our relationship?" Lambert pleaded with her.
"Titles?" Jolene sighed. "Lambert, if I marry you, I’d become the Princess Consort and I’ll be Her Royal Highness by virtue of being the wife of a blood Prince. Isn’t that several steps above the ladder for me than being a measly Baron’s daughter? And I have a lovely cousin who can inherit the Baronage in case I can’t. So that doesn’t matter."
"So it is about that stupid rule forbidding the Consorts to have a private business," Lambert walked to the bed and sat on it burying his face in his head. He had talked about changing the law, but it seems like the possibility is lower.
"What if I quit being a Royal? Will you marry me if I’m a commoner?"
"Well, that-" ’is one of the reasons’
Jolene’s words got stuck in her throat hearing the grenade of an idea thrown by Lambert.
Quit being a Royal? What is he saying? Can he even do that?
"I can abdicate-"
"STOP!!! STOP IT LAMBERT!" Jolene closed his mouth with both of her hands and her entire skin was filled with Goosebumps hearing what he said and she felt light-headed.
"You’re... You’re a Prince. You’re born and raised as a Prince. What will you do if you stop being-" she knelt in front of him, still pressing his mouth with both of her hands. Feeling the trembling in her hands, he enveloped her hands in his and looked at her reddened eyes directly.
"Calm down. It’s not that big a deal." Lambert couldn’t bear to see her trembling like that. "I can say I want a private life and want to live away from spotlight without even mentioning you. And yes, I’m not experienced with jobs other than being a Prince and you’ll have to support me." Although he spoke in a light-hearted way, he was being honest.
"What are you..." Jolene couldn’t speak further as her eyes blacked out.
"Jolene!" Lambert held her head before it hit the floor. His heart stopped seeing her going limp and he placed her on his bed. He felt his knees go weak and wrapping himself in his robes, he shouted for a doctor.
The house doctor was brought and seeing the Prince’s clothes sprawled on the floor and the Lady (who happens to be the Lady in Waiting of the Princess) unconscious on his bed, he held his breath. He was informed that the Prince carried the screaming Lady to his bedchambers and his mind wandered imagining situations. He never was in these kinds of situations before in his life as a Royal Doctor. He’s read in history books these kinds of situations were common, but this is the twenty first century.
What has the Prince done?
But it seemed like the Lady had passed out of shock and wasn’t hurt elsewhere and he sighed in relief. She seemed to have drunk a lot too.
"She’ll wake up in an hour or two. Should I send someone to move her to-"
"No need, you can leave. Thank you. And keep this a secret; especially from the Princess."
Lambert could read the doctor like a book and he didn’t want Talia to find out about it. The doctor had a weird nod and Lambert knew this news will be informed to The Dowager.
Ugh! Talia is going to kill me.
With a sigh, he dressed himself and lied beside her and watched her. He was shocked seeing this strong reaction from her. He didn’t think that he wouldn’t feel this relaxed as he contemplated abdication. He thought he’d be sadder to leave everything he is used to, but he didn’t feel that bad.
Am I that selfish? And do I even like being the Prince that much?
She woke up earlier than what the doctor said. She was confused at first but then she sat silently looking at the floor. He could understand her. Even if he says he abdicates for her, the press will find out one way or another the real reason if they start dating and marry. Then she’d go down in history as the woman who seduced a Prince to leave his duty for her selfish desires.
She is a proud, patriotic and a noble woman to bear that name. Her reaction is understandable.
"Jolene, I was not really serious about abdicate-"
"Don’t ever say that word Lambert. My head would explode." She closed her ears. "Not serious my a**. You’re an a**h*le." she mumbled and fell silent once more.
"Lambert, you know my ambition is that I want to make my company the best in Rosandale, right?" she looked at Lambert in the eye and this time her eyes were more clear as if she had reached to a decision. "That was not my ambition always. There was once a time when I wanted to be a dutiful consort. I read books about famous consorts, learnt the code of conduct for a consort, the rules of the palace, Royal etiquettes...I was a very dreamy teenager and I thought you’d one day come and swoop me up in your horse and I wanted to be ready," she had a smile but it hurt Lambert to look at it. "I can bet I know the rules of this place much better than you do."
I never knew you loved me that much!
Lambert gulped and wanted to interrupt her, but he held back.
"But as I grew up, I watched you carrying different woman in your horse each passing day even though none of them even respected his kingdom or your family. They wanted the title and the wealth and none of the responsibility and you seemed to like those types of women more while you never spared me a glance. You never was without a date and you never give a sh*t when they left you either."
"It was then I decided not to wait for you anymore; to have my own life, my own ambition. I can’t lose my all for a guy for whom I might be nothing when lost."
Jolene walked out without expecting his answer.
Lambert closed his eyes and ended up laughing. But tears dripped from his eyes.
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