Stand By Me Darling
Chapter 243: Don’t Want To Regret

Chapter 243: Don’t Want To Regret

Talia felt dry. Her throat felt dry, her tears she had held back in her eyes dried too. Till then, she was under the impression that her grandfather kept her away from the Rosandale Royal family because she was his heir.

She also thought that his grandfather valued the prestige of the Brunton family more than her and so he didn’t mind when her marriage was arranged with Ray.

She believed that her grandpa didn’t search for her when she left Esteria for the same reason too. She thought her Grandpa would have felt like the scot on the Brunton family got rid of itself when she left. She thought that her Grandpa didn’t love her anymore after she killed a person and wanted no part of her.

That’s why she was surprised when her grandfather reached back to her. She was ashamed of herself and was angry at her grandfather for reaching out to her secretly. And for that reason she kept away from her grandfather and didn’t accept anything from her grandfather.

But the reality... It was entirely different.

Her grandfather only cared about her and was willing to send her away to protect her. He didn’t try to find her, because he knew exactly where she was!

Talia held her grandpa’s hand and looked at her grandfather in the eyes. There was not an ounce of deceit in those hooded eyes that were looking at her with the usual gentleness.

When did I start to question my grandpa’s intentions towards me?

"I thought you left me with the wolves, grandpa... I thought you didn’t mind me getting married to Raymond... I thought you wanted to protect the Brunton name with your peers... I thought you wanted to show others how righteous you are by punishing your only grandchild... But I was wrong. I know nothing, grandpa... I’m so stupid... " Talia buried her head in his chest and hugged him closer. But realising he is still having his dialysis, she loosened her hold and sat on the chair, hugging his arm." I’m not a very good person, am I? I thought the worst of the people who actually loves me deeply."

Jerome Brunton was hurt hearing what his precious and endearing little granddaughter’s thoughts. The way she thought about him... It was so distant and so wrong. It really hurt him.

Then again... Can she be blamed entirely for thinking about me this way? She is not stupid. The way she misconstrued everything that followed that incident... And even before that incident, she was not very close with me, was she?

All because of what I said.

"Dear child... You are not to be blamed for that. It was me who pushed you away from me... that unfortunate day at the dining table, in front of everyone by calling you something terrible." Jerome Brunton let out a deep sigh.

He wanted to talk about that day of his daughter’s wake to his granddaughter for years. But he never had the guts to talk to her about it. Everytime he remembered that day, more than the sorrow of losing his daughter, he would be haunted by that awful smile his granddaughter gave him that day. He knew in his heart that, that was the day he lost his daughter and his granddaughter.

He wanted to talk to her, to apologise to her and wanted to see that pure smile that he always sees on her once more. But then there would be a little hesitation in his heart.

What if she had forgotten what I said and by talking about it, I remind her once more?

Yes, it was an excuse. Maybe it was his pride that stopped him from talking to her about it and apologise to his granddaughter. He knew deep in his heart that the way his granddaughter looked at him changed after that day. He used to be her hero before that and after that... He became her family’s elder she needed to obey and respect and nothing more.

But he was happy their talk led to this topic now. Whether his granddaughter has the heart to forgive him or not, he will apologise to her. He was in the wrong and even though his granddaughter now has the same smile as when she was little, he wanted to get it out of his chest.

He is old and he wanted to be a little bit selfish. He knew his granddaughter with her kindest heart will forgive him especially now when he is sick.

Talia who went back in her thoughts remembered that fateful day at the same time her grandfather mentioned that day. Her grandfather’s voice resonated in her ears as if she was hearing it now.

"... Purple-eyed monster who killed my daughter..."

He is right. It was that day when her close bond with her grandfather found the biggest break. And they never fixed it and shifted around it, making the distance between them gradually larger.

In fact, a lot of her mental sufferings stemmed from her grandfather’s words too. Whenever others called her a monster, she’d remember that her grandfather said the same to her and she started believing it. Maybe if her grandfather never said that word, she would have grown up confident, not caring about her natural eye colour and never considered herself a jinx.

"Did you believe what you said, when you said it, grandpa?" Talia looked at her grandfather.

"No, my dear... No!" her grandfather wrapped his arms around her shoulders and hugged her. "Then or now, I never consider you a..." he was hesitant to even repeat that hurtful word. "I never will think of my precious little honey bag like that..."

Talia stayed silent in her grandfather’s embrace. She knew he was crying and she knew he wouldn’t like her see him crying.

"You see, that day..." Her Grandpa continued, "That table was filled with all the nobles and that Boswell dog..." he gritted his teeth as he remembered that day, "He was grinning since his son succeeded in killing my little angel and watching your pitifully crying, I lost my temper. You see, Mary Ann, grandpa is not laying excuses for what I did to you. What I did was wrong. To show my anger at a five year old who just lost her mother-"

" I understand, grandpa, " Talia interjected her Grandpa and she could feel his hold getting tighter. "At that time, you were in great distress too and you slipped up. You were always proper with everyone and unable to properly hold back your emotions under the provocation of Mr. Sinclair, you showed it on me... It hurt me a great deal and I know it hurt you too. As an adult, I can understand. I’m glad that you really don’t think of me that way, when everyone else called me a monster. "

Talia could imagine the state her grandfather might have been in that day. As a child, she would never forgive him for saying those hurtful words that broke her, but as an adult, she could understand him. It still doesn’t make it right. He still shouldn’t have said those words to her, but she could understand why her Grandpa flared up at her.

It hurt her, yes. But how long will she drag everything behind her? Carrying around every hurt she received from others, only made her feel tired. What is the use, anyway? How many will she hate? Hating required a lot of energy and she didn’t want to spare her energy towards hate.

And the person who hurt her is her Grandpa. And he apologised... To her... His granddaughter! When has the righteous Jerome Brunton apologised? Never!

He said one hurtful word to her and she will not let that word trump over every other help and assistance, love and care, she received from her Grandpa.

It is not worth it.

It’s grandpa for heaven’s sake! She cannot hate him.

"I’m sorry, Mary Ann..." her Grandpa patted her head and Talia silently laid in his embrace. She didn’t want to say anything and just silently stay beside her Grandpa.

"I still don’t understand why you felt the need to leave your wedding with Artie... I thought you loved him..." Her Grandpa asked after a short time and Talia sat back straight.

"I was so angry at you that you left me with the Sinclairs for days and didn’t want to marry the one you chose! And... I was too young to be married back then, grandpa! What were you thinking? What were you thinking making two teenagers who weren’t even out of high school marry? " Talia started to rant with a pout.

She didn’t want to tell him what Ray did to her. Although she was not sure, she had a gut feeling that her Grandpa Is still unaware of what happened in the Sinclair mansion in the days she stayed with them. If her Grandpa had known, he never would have allowed Fred inside his home and give him his empire to rule. Her Grandpa would have brought the entire Sinclair family down.

Her Grandpa Is pretty sensitive towards the issues concerning women and he has no respect towards those who hurts women and children. If he knows what Ray had done to her... He would flare up like a volcano and destroy everything.

And he will not approve her wedding with Fred!

So Talia decided to keep what Ray did to her a secret from her Grandpa. Also he is already sick and her Grandpa will surely get stressed a lot if he knew of it.

There are a lot of advantages in keeping that from her Grandpa.

She stayed with her grandpa for a while and she could feel her heart feeling light getting every little misunderstanding cleared. The past ten years, her biggest regrets were a select few. Apart from Cyrus’ death, she felt like everything else was her misunderstanding and she now felt free.

When she reached her place after having dinner with her Grandpa, she couldn’t help but think about her life so far. She was not that impressive and for her, she seemed like she had wasted her life misunderstanding those who truly loved her. Whether it was Fred or her Grandpa... She hated them for reasons she developed in her mind.

How stupid am I!

Thinking about her Grandpa and her great grandmother, who had faced a lot and still achieved a lot of respect by facing everything head-on and winning, she felt like she was just a whiner finding reasons to be depressed about.

What a waste!

At that time, her phone rang and she picked up with a smile.

"Fred!" she couldn’t hide the grin in her face.