Sins Of Her Venom
Chapter 50: Thinking Of Her

Chapter 50: Thinking Of Her

- Glyndon Walton ( Song of the Chapter: The Hills by The Weeknd)

It’s another new day in Paris. The teachers have organized some sort of group lunch at Le Relais de l’Entrecôte, a popular spot for tourists and large groups. Right now, I’m sitting with Alex and our friend group...As usual. All the students are gathered, and the teachers are calling out our names for attendance.

But I can’t stop thinking about Kathrine.

The whole day, ever since I saw her this morning—almost half-naked—those dirty thoughts have refused to leave me and my mind alone. She completely ignored me last night, and now it feels like I’m losing my mind. I don’t know why I begged for her attention the way I did. Why I cried. It’s pathetic, isn’t it? But it didn’t feel pathetic then. It felt necessary. Like I needed her to acknowledge me, to say something—anything.

The teacher called out her name, "Kathrine Andrews," but she wasn’t there. A hush fell over the group as people started looking around. Then Alex broke the silence, smirking.

"Where’s the Lesbo? Think she’s off-cornering a girl somewhere?"

Everyone laughed at his joke. I laughed, too, even though I didn’t feel like it.

Then one of the teachers stepped in, saying, "Kathrine Andrews stayed back with her friends. Brandon isn’t feeling well, so Ethan, Ryan, Daniel, Michael, Lily, and Emma won’t be joining us today."

Disappointment hit me like a punch to the gut.

I should’ve been happy. Relieved, even. I should’ve been celebrating the fact that I wouldn’t have to see her face, hear her voice, or spend another second obsessing over her. But I wasn’t.

The day dragged on after that, even though everyone around me seemed to be having fun. At the restaurant, we ordered, ate, and laughed at more stupid jokes—some of them about Kathrine. Homophobic jokes. And I laughed along, too, because what else could I do?

But secretly, all I could think about was her.

Her voice. Her smile. Her touch. The way she makes me feel. The way she makes me hate her and myself for feeling this way.

The laughter around me felt distant like I was hearing it through a thick wall. I swirled my fork around my plate, barely touching my steak as Alex draped his arm over my shoulders, leaning in close.

"You’ve been quiet," he murmured, low enough that only I could hear.

I forced a small smirk. "Just tired."

He hummed, brushing his lips against my temple before turning his attention back to the conversation. They were still joking about Kathrine—about her staying behind, about her being the only lesbian in our school. Someone cracked another joke about her "converting" one of the other girls in our school, and the laughter came in waves, bouncing off the dimly lit walls of the restaurant.

I laughed too. Not because it was funny, but because I had to. Because if I didn’t, someone would notice. If I didn’t, I’d have to ask myself why it wasn’t funny.

Why the thought of her with another girl made my stomach twist painfully.

I took a sip of my drink, letting the ice-cold soda numb the heat burning my throat.

"Man, imagine if she just never comes back," one of the guys at our table joked. "Like, what if she just ran off? Found a French girlfriend or something."

Alex grinned. "Wouldn’t be surprised. She probably saw all the hot European women and decided she could do better than American girls."

Another round of laughter. I felt sick. I should’ve said something.

I should’ve—No.

I dug my nails into my thigh under the table, forcing the thoughts away. I had no right to feel like this. No right to feel anything about Kathrine.

So what if she ignored me last night?

So what if she made me feel like I didn’t exist?

So what if I woke up this morning with the ghost of her scent still clinging to my skin?

I didn’t care. I couldn’t care.

Alex’s fingers brushed over my wrist, snapping me out of my thoughts. "You okay?"

I swallowed, nodding quickly. "Yeah. Just tired, like I said."

He studied me for a second longer, then shrugged, turning back to the group.

I let out a slow breath and forced a smile.

This was fine.

Everything was fine.

Glyndon Walton

The rest of lunch blurred together in a haze of forced laughter and meaningless conversation. I played my part perfectly—smirking when I needed to, nodding along to whatever Alex was saying, pretending to care when someone brought up party plans for later tonight. But underneath it all, my mind kept drifting back to one thing.

Kathrine.

It was pathetic. I knew it was pathetic. But it didn’t stop the way my stomach twisted every time I remembered she wasn’t there. That she was somewhere else, completely unaware of the mess she was making of me.

_____

By the time we got back to the hotel, I could barely stand being around anyone. I mumbled something about being tired, ignoring Alex’s offer to "keep me company," and slipped away before he could argue.

The second I stepped into my room, I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding.

Silence.

For the first time all day, no one was talking, no one was laughing, no one was watching me.

And yet, it still wasn’t enough to quiet the storm inside me.

I hesitated by the door before locking it. Then, slowly, I crossed the room, my feet dragging against the carpet as I approached the bed.

Kathrine’s bed.

The sheets were still a little messy from this morning, from when she had been sleeping there, completely ignoring me. My fingers twitched at my sides as I stared at the pillow she had rested her head on, the blankets she had touched.

I shouldn’t have done it.

I shouldn’t have even thought about it.

But before I could stop myself, I reached down and grabbed her pillow, pressing it to my face.

Vanilla.

I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply. It was so faint now, barely there, but I could still smell her.

A sharp ache twisted in my chest.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

I gritted my teeth and threw the pillow back onto the bed, shoving my fingers through my hair as I paced the room.

I needed a distraction. Something. Anything.

My gaze flicked toward my phone.

Alex had texted me earlier, asking if I was coming to the party tonight. I ignored it. There was no point in going. I knew exactly how the night would go— We’d throw a secret party where all we do is drink without letting the teachers catch us—- I’d drink too much, let Alex kiss me, and pretend it felt right. Pretend I didn’t wish it was someone else.

No. I wasn’t doing that tonight.

Instead, I sat on my bed, arms wrapped around my knees as I stared at the door.

Waiting.

Waiting for her to come back.

Minutes turned into an hour. Then two.

She didn’t come back.

I told myself I didn’t care. That it didn’t matter. That she was probably with her friends, taking care of Brandon, and I had no reason to sit here like some desperate, pathetic—

A knock at the door.

My heart leaped into my throat.

I shot up from the bed, rushing forward before I could stop myself. My fingers hovered over the handle, my breath coming short.

I swallowed hard and unlocked the door, pulling it open—

And froze.

It wasn’t her.

It was Alex.

He grinned, leaning lazily against the doorframe. "Hey, beautiful. You’ve been hiding all day."

Disappointment crashed over me so hard that I almost staggered back.

I forced a smirk. "Just tired."

He lifted a brow. "You keep saying that."

I shrugged. "Because it’s true."

Alex studied me for a second, then sighed. "Well, since you’re not coming to the party, at least let me in. We can watch a movie or something."

I hesitated.

If I let him in, I wouldn’t be able to keep waiting for her.

But if I didn’t let him in, he’d start asking questions.

My stomach churned.

"Fine," I muttered, stepping aside.

He walked in, collapsing onto my bed like he owned the place. I shut the door behind him, but my eyes kept flicking toward the clock.

Kathrine still wasn’t back.

Would she be back tonight?

Or would I be left waiting forever?

Alex stretched out on my bed, grabbing the remote like he belonged there. Like I hadn’t been sitting on the edge of this bed for hours, waiting for someone else.

I sat stiffly at the foot of the mattress, barely paying attention as he flipped through channels. My thoughts kept drifting, my ears straining for any sound outside the door.

Kathrine still wasn’t back.

Maybe she wasn’t coming back tonight. Maybe she was staying with her friends, curled up next to Brandon, still surrounded by people who mattered to her.

Not me.

Never me.

I swallowed hard, forcing my gaze onto the TV. Some action movie was playing—something loud, filled with explosions and car chases. I barely processed it.

Then—

A sound.

A faint shuffle. Footsteps.

My entire body tensed.

The handle to the door turned.

I sucked in a breath, my pulse thundering in my ears as the door creaked open.

And there she was.

Kathrine.

She stepped inside, her expression unreadable, her gaze flicking between me and Alex. The room felt like it had shrunk, the air charged with something too heavy, too suffocating.

She was back.

But she didn’t look happy to see me.

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