Sharing a Pavilion With You
Chapter 124: Bai Li Adores Me?

Chapter 124: Bai Li Adores Me?

[Suggested song for this Chapter – a thousand years by Christina Perri]

"I didn’t want to say this to you before I leave for the north, but now I find I can’t help myself," said Bai Li desperately.

"I’m sorry Meili, I must speak what’s in my heart. I apologise if this is unwelcome to you, but I must tell you that I adore you."

Meili’s eyes widened with surprise.

"I wish that I didn’t. I wish I could let you marry Tan Bowen, who makes you so happy, but I find that I can’t do it, Meili.

I’ve never cared about anything in my life more than you. I could die for you a thousand times over, if you would just agree to be mine," his voice cracked with emotion.

"In another lifetime, I can be your slave, your guard, your manservant, I don’t care, but in this lifetime," his voice rose, "I must be your husband!"

"I know I could die in the north and make you a widow. I’m sorry Meili! But even so I must ask this of you," he pleaded with her.

"You have lived in my heart since I first saw you, though God knows I’ve tried to fight these feelings...." he shook his head in dismay.

"There, I’ve said it. The whole sorry lot. I’m afraid that’s how I feel in my heart, though I know that it’s selfish and unforgivable..."

He placed her down on the snow and stalked angrily away from her, silently cursing himself for his uncontrolled outburst.

What’s wrong with you? he asked himself bitterly. Must you confess to her before you leave for war? You promised yourself you wouldn’t do this to her! To yourself!

He stopped when he reached a gnarled old plum tree and he leant forward, resting his head on his hands against the trunk.

Meili watched the man in shock, her lips parted in surprise.

He liked her?

It seemed unbelievable, but those reluctantly shared words could hardly be untrue, not from a man like Bai Li!

For some unknown but happy reason, the man liked her!

The feelings she didn’t know she had been tamping down in her heart, day after day, suddenly burst forth like a kaleidoscope of coloured butterflies.

She looked at him leaning against the tree in despair, and she couldn’t bear to see him like that for a moment longer.

She ran lightly across the snow to stand directly behind him, then, she tentatively reached forward and lightly wrapped her arms around his waist.

He was too large for her hands to join in front of him, but he startled when he felt her soft arms embrace him.

He spun around with breathtaking speed and turned the tables on her, pushing her firmly back against the plum tree, one hand beside her face, the other gripping her chin and tilting her face up towards his own, as he leant down to bring his eyes level with hers.

She watched as a myriad of emotions chased across his face, some she recognised and others she didn’t, but she clung to the plain meaning of words.

He adored her, she told herself firmly. As unbelievable as that seemed, he adored her...

Her eyes dropped unknowingly to his lips, and she couldn’t help wondering what it would feel like to be kissed by him.

He let out a pained grunt as though she had punched him.

"Must you make it so impossible for me, girl?" he groaned, as the beautiful woman seemed to gaze at his lips.

He let go of her chin so as not to force her, keeping his face inches from hers.

"This is your last chance to be free of me in this lifetime," he warned her with a growl.

She continued to look distractedly at his lips, her delicate tongue emerging to touch her own lips, in a gesture that broke his resolve completely.

"Do you know you have my heart in your hands?" he choked. "Hold it gently, Meili."

He pulled her into his arms and pressed his lips to hers.

Her heart swelled and fluttered in her chest, as the man kissed her passionately, and she finally understood what it was to be kissed by a man who loves you, and whom you love in return.

Time stood still as the pair kissed one another.

At first, Bai Li couldn’t control his emotions, and he kissed her passionately with all of the suppressed desire he had been containing.

But as the woman he loved responded to him, not shying away or pushing against him, he allowed himself to slow down and shower her with the love he felt so deeply.

Meili felt the change in his kisses, and her heart soared, as she both heard and felt the truth of his words.

She timidly reached up her arms to wrap them around his neck.

He couldn’t help smiling against her lips, as she hugged him in return.

This was a moment of perfect happiness that felt undeserved to him.

Somehow, this beautiful, naïve, innocent, brave, kind, talented woman had chosen him!

She, who could have any man in this world, including the Emperor, had somehow fallen for him!

Whatever happened from this moment, he would be content, because fate had been oh so kind to him...

At last, as his natural passions continued to rise, he finally came to his senses and pulled back, taking deep breaths, as he sought to calm his desires.

He stood, towering over Meili, and he gently stroked her long hair, holding her to him, until he could trust himself again.

Finally, he let her go and took her hand, looking down at her tenderly.

She looked back up at him shyly from under her lashes, her cheeks pink and flushed with their kisses.

"I’m sorry I overstepped the boundaries of a gentleman with you just now," he didn’t sound in the least sorry, she thought.

"It’s okay, Bai Li," she whispered. "I should have resisted you, so it’s my fault."

"How can something I instigated be your fault? Anyway, I will take responsibility for you, so is it really so wrong for a man to kiss the woman he will marry?"

Just saying those words brought a happy smile to his face that refused to be quelled.

Meili hardly dared to hope that that happy event would come to pass.

There seemed to be so many hurdles to overcome, before they could be joined as man and wife.

She was more than satisfied that Bai Li wanted to marry her, and not solely out of a sense of duty... but because he loved her!