Reincarnated in a depressing erotic world but living a normal life (right?)
The absurd siege

"This is impossible!"

My voice echoed stridently in the vast strategy hall, barely concealing the disbelief I felt and my growing anger at the situation presented before me, as I gazed at the three-dimensional map of the royal capital.

It showed an ominous scarlet outline around the base of the imperial castle, but what these arrows represented was utterly baffling; they weren't enemies, much less siege formations, no, it was something far more... ridiculous.

I am Commander Vulcan Caliogstro, leader of the legions of the valiant Valerius Empire, ruled by the ever-beautiful, eternal empress. We are considered the spearhead of the empire under the empress's direct orders.

Under her command, we have conquered cities, broken sieges, and spread the glory of the Valerius Empire wherever we have been, but even with all the experience I've gained, I myself must admit that I have never faced anything so absurd and nonsensical until now.

However, I wasn't the only one who found the current situation baffling. Seeing my generals, their faces etched with expressions as serious as if they were facing a dragon that had suddenly invaded the empire for no reason, confirmed the reality of the situation's strangeness.

"Commander, the reports are consistent: the entire lower part of the castle is blocked by what appear to be... small figures resembling straw dolls that move, and according to reports, there are many of them, and they're cute."

"Cute?!"

I couldn't help but exclaim as if spitting poison, knowing that just hours earlier, the map showed a peaceful, tranquil city under the protection of legions of soldiers due to the empire's anniversary banquet celebration at the castle.

But now that same celebration had turned into some kind of nightmare straight out of a children's story, making it difficult to assimilate this as reality and not some kind of bad joke.

"Are you telling me that what overcame all our defenses, which have repelled invading enemy legions, war machines, and fearsome monsters, was nothing more than... toys?"

As I brought my gloved hand, trembling slightly with anger, closer to the hologram to zoom in on the besieged perimeter, I could see them, even if it was just a representation of their appearance, showing those small bundles of straw with their button eyes and colored ribbons, looking completely harmless.

But despite their almost cute appearance, those things had achieved the unimaginable by bypassing all defenses, taking over the lower part of the castle and trapping all the nobles, including the empress, in the upper part.

However, the most humiliating, or perhaps baffling, aspect of all this is that they did it overnight, as if they had simply appeared and multiplied to form an inviolable wall and perimeter around the castle, blocking all our attempts to enter to date.

No matter how we attacked, we were always repelled by their numerical superiority and even in terms of quality. Even aerial attacks by dragon riders failed when those straw dolls combined to form aerial defenses, and elements they should be susceptible to, like fire, were ineffective due to their surprising organization in using commanders.

But what was truly surprising was the identity of their commanders, scattered across each perimeter, who were in charge of optimally directing each battalion.

The identity of these commanders were the prisoners of the royal castle dungeon, who previously held titles of honor and prestige, until they suddenly changed to become the worst sexual criminals ever seen in the history of the Valerius Empire.

Formerly known as the genius magic swordswoman Rhiannon, history's youngest prodigy saint Celestina, the knight commander Cassandra, and the empire's war veteran formerly considered a heroine Vespera.

Each of them suddenly changed, committing the worst sexual acts and crimes imaginable in the history of the empire, which ended up destroying all the honor, fame, and prestige they previously held.

But due to their past achievements and reputation, they at least avoided being beheaded for their actions, but instead were locked in the castle dungeon where they remained as a constant reminder of the terrible fate of those who betray the empire, by exposing their vulgar fallen appearances compared to their former heroic figures, to set an example. This was also done because it was hoped that this would eventually make them reflect and try to gain their freedom or redeem themselves from their sins, but contrary to that thought, they only immersed themselves further into daily depravity without any salvation.

It is because I know this information that I still don't understand: how was it possible to tame them to fight for their cause? Or has whoever is behind the straw dolls found a way to bring them back to their cause?

I don't understand it, but the only thing I can be sure of for now is that whoever is behind this must have carefully planned this and waited for the opportune moment to attack.

But for what purpose?

While they currently have everything in their favor, with multiple nobles as hostages along with the empress who prevent us from attacking rashly, and also having the means to tame beings of great power like those lunatic women and an army as efficient as those strange straw dolls, then why haven't they done anything more than entrench themselves?

Are they waiting for the opportune moment to attack?

Whatever the case, we must prepare for whatever they might do to rescue the empress, no matter the cost, because even if it costs me my life, I will protect the empire...