Race With a Heart
Chapter 228: In the Name of Loyalty of a Friend

Chapter 228: In the Name of Loyalty of a Friend

Martin hasn’t had time to serve on the web lately. Busy working in the stables, helping in the workshop and, above all, with Steve consuming all his attention, he didn’t even have time to check his friends’ social media, let alone deal with gossip. Maybe that’s why the behavior of the girls on the bus surprised him so much. Of course he knew Steve was popular, but how popular?

It turned out to be very, despite the fact that lately he didn’t appear on the racetrack.

The web was full of all sorts of amateur journalists who shared their "journalistic investigations" or thoughts on their sites or on social media. Many of them were total gossip, such as news of Paxton’s new romance with a new R&B music star, or that a certain well-known Hollywood director had invited him to play the lead role in an action movie. But there were also those that were only slightly altered truths, like the incident in which Steve defended a woman from assault. Someone even looked for information further and found out that out of revenge for that heroine’s act, Paxton himself became a victim of assault. So, in addition to the total stoners, there were those who were able to dig up the facts. Although, fortunately, not to all of them. If the media had gotten to Hannah’s story, it would have opened a wound in Steve that had healed so recently and with such difficulty. What surprised Martin most, however, was how many young girls were interested in Steve and even had his picture as their profile pictures. Steve Paxton was insanely popular at this point and people were interested in literally everything about him.

Under normal circumstances, Martin would have been happy to see Paxton so popular; after all, he was a fan himself. Now, however, their circumstances were far from normal and Don’s words left him uneasy. Would their relationship really, if it came to light, hurt Steve’s career?

Martin remembered that several actors had suffered greatly when it came out that they were cheating on their wives. But Steve wasn’t married and didn’t cheat on anyone. Several idols lost their jobs when it came out that they were dating one girl or another, but after all, Steve wasn’t dating a girl, so was his situation better or worse? When Ami learned that Martin had chosen a man instead of her, she understood and did not resent him. Martin accurately remembered that she accepted the fact that she didn’t have what Paxton had as a guy. Only would other women also be so understanding?

Martin couldn’t think about all this. It was too much and his head really hurt, but instead of lying down and resting he decided to occupy his hands with something.

***

"Steve, can you spare me a moment?"

Paxton stopped halfway to the exit. Loreen left with Jack having earlier winked at Steve. She had already said all she had to say. Now it was Karl’s turn, apparently.

"As for that contract..."

"Not now. How did you feel on the track today? But honestly?"

"Honestly? At first I was like a scared kid, but then... then it was..." Paxton smiled with satisfaction, "exactly as it should be."

"So I can count on you in the last race?"

"I thought that was already decided."

"I wanted to confirm that. I don’t want to put you in a difficult situation. After all, you know how much I care about you..."

"Let’s leave it, okay? Nothing good will come if you keep going back to it."

"Steve..."

"I’m sorry, but I can’t change how I feel."

"I know, I have to accept it, but I can’t accept the thought that because of how greedy I was I might lose what we had before."

"I’m afraid of that too," admitted Steve. "That time would have been a wonderful memory for me but what happened with Hannah... I can’t, Karl, I’m sorry. I’m not able to see you that way, because when I tried I always saw Hannah’s eyes and her blood."

"And when you look at me as a friend, do you see her too?" Karl asked with a note of distress in his voice.

"No. As a friend you have always been a support for me, and I know that without you I would have ended up in some gutter, in jail or in the cemetery. As a friend you are priceless to me, irreplaceable. But as a lover... forgive me."

Walton took a deep breath.

"They say that if you love someone, you should let them go. But I don’t want you to leave my life or this stable. I think you and this place are good for each other."

"I’m sorry to cause you pain. I would really give up a lot to make it different, but... I’m sorry."

"It’s okay. I’ll try not to put you in an awkward situation again like that time at the hospital. I’m a guy, I should be able to control myself."

They both smiled. Yes, because supposedly guys come so easily! Anyway, it didn’t matter, because Steve knew how sincere Karl was. If it hadn’t been for Hannah’s accident, they probably would have become a couple. Whether they would have been happy with each other is a completely different question, but they would certainly have tried to be.

"And now to the contract," Walton took on a serious expression again. "You know we need it. And you know I won’t let you get hurt."

"Do you think that’s what I’m afraid of?"

"Martin," guessed Walton grimly. Steve might have been impressed by how well Karl knew him, but he wasn’t. After all, this was no discovery just a confirmation of how involved Karl was in Steve’s life, for better or worse.

"I don’t have to tell you how important he is to me. The place that you couldn’t fill because of Hannah has been empty for years, until now. I can’t risk messing things up between us because some crazy teenagers will see him as an obstacle to get to me."

"So you know?"

"Karl, I don’t want to be a living legend. I don’t want to be put on a pedestal and analyzed by millions of people who have no idea about the real me. I want to be a man who is allowed to love, to fear, to dream. I’m selfish, aren’t I?"

"No, Steve, you’re not. I’m the one who is selfish asking you to sacrifice yourself for the stable. That’s why I won’t ask you. I don’t want you to feel any pressure. I want you to make the decision yourself. Or make it together with Martin. Maybe you want to protect him from something he doesn’t want to be protected from at all? Don’t forget that he is also one of your fans, and he certainly wants to see you in full glory."

Steve recalled the admiring and adoring eyes with which Martin had gazed at him even before they started sleeping together. These were not the eyes of an ordinary fan, and perhaps that’s why they caught the driver’s attention.

"You’re right," he admitted. "As always."

"Go to him already," Karl instructed.

Steve looked at him for a moment, at this man who had always been by his side for so many years, in the good and in the bad moments, and had demanded nothing in return, only asking him for love twice. Steve, however, could not give it to him. The first time, tragedy destroyed what they had begun to build between them, and I guess it destroyed it so much that there was nothing left to build from the second time, crushed it and crumbled it into dust. Karl knew that he had no more chances that’s why he let Steve walk away into the arms of another man.

Steve smiled softly, warmly and gratefully. He hoped that Karl would now be able to forever come to terms with the loss of this unfulfilled love and arrange a happy life with Anna.