Race With a Heart
Chapter 220: Trial

Chapter 220: Trial

Willingness alone was not enough. Martin still had to find a way to help his loved one.

Karl offered Martin a driver’s contract, but Martin wasn’t sure he wanted it. He came here as a replacement, for Paxton’s convalescence, and if he had stayed longer, as a third driver, it would have sent the message that he was just waiting for Steve or Jacks to slip up. And neither Paxton nor Lambert needed their friend to become a rival who was panting in their backs. That would have been unfair to them, after what they had done for Martin professionally and in their private lives.

Of course, Steve dreamed of riding with Martin, but the guy always had bold fantasies. Martin was a class below Jack and he knew it well. He would probably never beat him in a fair fight, and he wasn’t going to be to him what Don Alston was to Steve.

But there was something else. If Martin stayed at the Fergus Stables as a driver, his and Paxton’s secret affair would come to light. Martin was not ashamed of his love, but he was afraid of stupid jokes. Men joked about pussy. Knowing their colleagues, they would include Martin in this group. They wouldn’t even do it out of malice. After all, they wouldn’t start seeing him as a woman, would they?

He sighed.

And would they still see him as a man?

But if Martin wants to build a future with Steve it won’t be one where he will be afraid to show up with him in public. He will have to muster up the courage to answer honestly to anyone who asks that yes, he is gay and in a relationship with a man, with Steve Paxton.

He felt the chill of the night and slipped under the sheets.

Why does life have to be so difficult? Why can’t it be as simple as two plus two equals four?

Martin closed his eyes and suddenly heard the questions Steve had asked him earlier.

Did Martin want to ride the track? Was this his dream?

The young driver turned on his side turning to face his lover.

He couldn’t answer these questions, because at this point in his life his only dream was to make Steve happy....

Martin sighed in the semi-darkness looking at Steve’s manly face. A black strand of hair fell over his closed eyes. Carefully, so as not to wake him, Martin pushed the strand away.

Steve was sleeping peacefully, as he always did after sex. It was as if their physical closeness relaxed him to the point where he could sleep a peaceful sleep. Maybe that’s why they made love so often. Martin was glad that he could help Steve at least in this way, being with him and giving him pleasure of the body and peace of heart. It was a lot, but Martin wanted to give him more. He wanted to give him everything. Steve was not perfect. He had even been an asshole in the past, but now he was the whole world to Martin.

’He wants me to ride with him,’ thought Martin gently stroking Paxton’s head. ’He really wants it. I’m not as good as Jack and maybe I never will be, but the stable needs three good drivers. Maybe I’m not as good as them, but I’m doing a good job and besides, I don’t have that kind of ambition, so maybe... maybe it won’t be too bad if I stay as a third driver. A safe third driver who doesn’t have as much ambition as Don...’

At the mention of Alston, Martin felt anger. He could forgive him, and yes, he had forgiven him for Don’s desire to get at Martin’s ass, but he would never forgive him for hurting Steve. He tried to do so, declared forgiveness, but every time he saw that Paxton still couldn’t quite get over what had been done to him, how negatively he reacted to Alston, forgiveness suddenly disappeared from Martin’s heart.

With his hand on Steve’s cheek, Martin felt a chill of anxiety. Don had promised to leave the stable, but if Martin didn’t agree to stay as a driver, would Karl want to hire Alston? Don was driving really well now. His attitude had also changed. Jack had helped him acclimate a lot and now even Don was going out for beers with some of the guys while Martin usually disappeared around the time Steve did. If Martin refuses to sign a contract and Karl offers a contract to Alston, can they trust that Don will keep his promise and just disappear at the end of the season?

Like hell he will! There were a lot of good stables driving in GP2, but Fergus’ stable was simply the top shelf. Don has already shown many times how much he cares about being able to drive on the track in its red and yellow colors. There’s no way he can keep his promise. A potluck stipulation is just a stipulation and can always be changed.

Martin clenched his teeth. Paxton’s dormant face was so quiet and so calm! It was as if, falling asleep next to his lover, Steve had forgotten all his worries, of which he had so many during each day. As his lover and as his partner, Martin must do everything to protect Steve from another worry, which was potentially Don Alston.

***

Steve had gray before his eyes. The weather forecast promised light passing rain, meanwhile it had been drizzling for an hour. Bloody depressing weather and unpleasant for a racing driver. The track was too dry for intermediates, too wet for cold slicks. The first laps would be a pain in the ass. But only a fool thinks a driver races only in the sun. No one cancels a billion-dollar event just because it’s raining.

The start of the race is going to be unpleasant, dammit. Steve knew it could get ugly. He had two cars in front of him, both belonging to young, inexperienced drivers. All it would take was one mistake on the part of either of them, even the smallest one, and they would all be off the track. Karl should cancel the game and not risk wrecking all the machines a few days before the last race of the season. Or at least he should leave one of them in the garage and only let two go.

Paxton was not happy with the idea of this test race. Yesterday he succumbed because he had Martin’s face in front of his eyes. That boy would force anything on him. But Karl should be smarter, and so should Abe, and not make an empty spectacle where they risk so much. It was just stupid.

Steve was restless and impatient. He didn’t like the fact that Karl had brought to the stands all the employees who weren’t necessary to handle the race. Heck, he even invited his secretary and the ladies from accounting, as if these didn’t have some decent work to do. But the worst part was that he even brought Larissa. Steve liked her, trusted her, but her presence in the stands today for some unspecified reason irritated him.

Paxton clenched his gloved fingers on the steering wheel. The day was not very warm, yet for some reason he was hot.

Sure, ’for some reason’. He croaked uncomfortably. "Focus, you idiot, focus!"

Steve heard his breathing, a little too heavy than it should have been. He heard each beat of his heart a tad too strong. He heard the sounds despite the roar of the three engines of the warming cars and Allen’s calm voice in the headset.

"All right, boys, you know what today’s game is all about. This is a very friendly race, but a race nonetheless. We’re doing thirty-six laps in the spirit of healthy sportsmanship but I don’t wish for any unnecessary niceties. Today, any car on the track other than the one you have your ass in is your rival, your enemy. If I see someone doing courtesies to someone else, that someone will clean the latrines for a month."

"Abe, boss, we’re not in the military," Alston pointed out. He sounded as if he wanted to show that today’s race meant nothing to him, but Steve sensed his tension. He himself felt similar. It annoyed him that he had something in common with the kid whose car was brazenly warming up the engine in front of him.

"It’s going to be a fair race," Martin announced, and the fierceness in his voice surprised Paxton. "No concessions. For no one."

"I like that, kid. Steve?"

Paxton glanced at the car in front of him on the left. It was the one Martin was in. Why was he so fierce? Was he that anxious to show what he could do? No, that wouldn’t be the reason why Martin could sound that way. He, after all, did not have to prove anything to anyone. Everyone knew he was good.

"Steve..." Allen repeated.

"No courtesies," confirmed Paxton, and was surprised to feel that every word he uttered was true. "There are no friends on the track today. There are only rivals."

His hands moved nervously on the steering wheel.

Why was his heart beating so fast? After all, not once had he sat in a car, not once had he competed in races where the stakes were really high. What on earth is wrong?

The answer began to appear in his mind, but he drowned it out. He didn’t need a reminder of how messed up he was. He was reminded by Karl putting his car at the very end, as if he was some kind of rookie. As if he was the one who had to prove he was fit for the track. Damn!

"Okay, boys," came Abe’s voice, calm and strong. Did Abe know what the race was for? Did Karl tell him? "Stay focused. These tchotchkes are my pride, so if any of you scratch them, you’ll get your asses kicked by me."

"You’re as sweet as ever today, Abe," smiled Paxton. He was not cheerful. He felt anger.

"That’s thanks to you, my cuties. Focus, focus. Ready?"

Steve didn’t have time to focus. Red lights began to appear one after another until they filled the entire board and went out. Steve had no time to panic. He pressed the pedal...

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