Race With a Heart
Chapter 217: Regrets or No Regrets

Chapter 217: Regrets or No Regrets

Kevin dried his hair with a hair dryer and, wrapped in a bathrobe, appeared in the bedroom. Jack smiled at the sight of him. God, how he loved this guy!

"You scared me tonight, you know?"

"Really?" quipped Moore but his lips smiled with satisfaction. "Which part? The one about the punishment, my murderous smile or maybe the action in the bathtub?"

"All of them," admitted Jack.

Moore laughed and immediately became more serious.

"The police from a neighboring city asked me to consult. I was reviewing the case file today, and tomorrow I’m going to the crime scene. I think I wanted to relax a bit, have some fun. I’m sorry I did this at your expense."

Jack felt pain in his heart, not because Kevin "took advantage" of him, but because he couldn’t help him in any other way.

"Honey, this is the kind of thing you can do to me every day," he announced. "You were damn exciting."

This pleased Moore. He sat down on the bed and Lambert immediately took his hand.

"Your job is terribly stressful," Jack remarked. "I wish I could really help you..."

Kevin kissed him on the forehead.

"You help me and a lot. You are my sunshine. If I didn’t have you, my work might have turned me into a bitter desolate person. Thanks to you... Uhm, let’s just say I can get out my frustration in the best possible way."

Well, that was certainly true, but Jack was no longer a naive teenager to believe that decent sex was the cure for every problem. Yes, it was the best way to take out someone’s frustrations, but it was an emergency therapy, solving the effects, not the problem itself. That’s why Jack felt he should give Kevin not only his body, but also the sense that Moore could come to him with any of his problems - personal and professional.

Of course, Lambert knew he wasn’t as intelligent, well-read or knowledgeable as his dear Professor, but you don’t have to be that way to listen to someone.

"Do you want to talk about this case?" He proposed.

"No. I don’t want to think about my work right now. I want to talk about you. Did you stay for Martin or for Steve? Or maybe for both?"

"For Steve," sighed Jack. "When I told him I was leaving, his eyes were... I had never seen him like that. I felt like I was abandoning someone in deep need."

"So you did the right thing by staying. If you had left feeling that way, you would have tormented yourself with remorse and worried about Steve all the time. If anything had happened, even the slightest thing, you would have wondered for the rest of your life whether it could have been avoided if you hadn’t left."

"Am I really like that?" Jack disbelieved.

"You are" Kevin smiled warmly. "You have a very good heart and you care about people. If you consider someone as family, you consider them your responsibility."

Lambert sighed. Yes, I think that’s what happened. Kevin made a good analysis. It’s been that way since childhood, when, growing up in an orphanage, Jack considered himself the older brother of each of the younger kids and... several of the older ones, too. In a way, Steve reminded him of those children. He was lonely and abandoned in his own way, too. Lambert knew very well how painful it was to be abandoned, and that’s what he saw in Paxton’s eyes.

But Kevin should be his priority. Always.

"Doesn’t it bother you? The fact that you’re not the only person I worry about?"

"I’m not that selfish and besides... I really like that about you. If you weren’t exactly like that, you wouldn’t have reached out to me and expanded my world."

Kevin, of course, talked about how they met and how Lambert decided at first sight to get Kevin. Jack did the antsy work to make it happen, as the young professor. Although he was drawn to people, he didn’t dare to join them. The sole heir to a pretty large empire, plus a guy with an exceptionally sharp mind and scientific interests, he couldn’t find his way among his peers at school and university, so loneliness became second nature to him well into adulthood. If not for Jack’s persistence, determination but also warmth and understanding, Kevin would probably still be leading a very lonely life.

"You underestimate yourself," Jack stated with conviction. "I was just lucky enough to notice you early enough."

"Maybe," laughed Moore. "But you see, you brought me so many stories from the Fergus Stables that I made some pretty cool young friends. Such a Martin, for example..."

"Hey!" Lambert poked him in the side. "I don’t like your dreamy tone! I know you’re just joking, but I’m a less understanding guy than you. And much more jealous!"

"I’m sorry, I won’t be like that any more," he said.

"Speaking of Martin. He still hasn’t decided to sign a contract for next season."

"And he may not do so," announced Kevin. "Not everyone has ambitious dreams. Some people’s dreams are completely ordinary."

Kevin knew exactly what he was saying, because his dream was just that, ordinary as daily bread. A dream to spend the rest of his days happily by the side of the person he loves.

Of course, there were also career plans, but they were in the background. Jack knew that if the need arose, Moore would quit his career and be by his side all the time. Only Jack was not capable of such sacrifices.

And Martin? Would he sacrifice his happiness and his ambitions for Steve?

Probably so.

"And I think he can sign that contract," Lambert stated grimly. "But not for himself, for Steve."

"Does that worry you?"

"Of course! Love is a beautiful thing, but if, driven by the impulse of love, you make a decision that is not good for you and sacrifice yourself for your partner... In the movies it looks romantic, but the movies don’t show how the characters live together afterwards or how they split up because one party gave away too much without getting anything in return."

Now it was Kevin who felt obliged to comfort Jack.

"Martin is very young. I don’t think he’s making a decision now that couldn’t be reversed in the future, or simply make a different one after a year. But why do you think Martin should not sign this contract? Doesn’t he have the talent, the potential...?"

"He doesn’t have the heart. He himself knows very well that racing is not in his nature. He is too calm, too gentle. He lacks aggression on the track. The desire to compete. He loves to work in a team, to be part of a team, he hates to be in front of others. That’s why he is so comfortable with mechanics. And engines are his true passion."

Kevin nodded his head in thoughtfulness. It is difficult to make a predator out of a ruminant and vice versa. It is possible to arouse in someone the desire to compete, as parents, teachers or employers often try to do through various incentive systems, but there are people who feel no better, only worse, under such conditions. Contrary to the opinion of some, there is nothing wrong with this diversity of personalities and ambitions, because the world is not built by only one type of people and everyone has an important place in it.

Martin was young, capable and, above all, in love. This made it certain that the boy would be able to learn competition, which was not in his nature. After all, he had excellent motivation in the person of Steve. He can already compete in races and he can do it well, but will he be happy about it in the end?

Well, this question was a tad disturbing.

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