Race With a Heart
Chapter 195: Jack

Chapter 195: Jack

Kevin thought for a moment, then sighed in resignation.

"No. In fact, you are to blame that the only heir to Moore’s empire turned gay. Which means that you are the one to blame for making me so happy. I think if I hadn’t met you one day I might have succumbed to pressure and marry a woman, but the rest of my life would have passed in a dull gray. I would become more and more immersed in scientific work and sit locked in my office, she would lead her own life. Our marriage would only exist on paper and we would both be unhappy."

"With me, you spend too little time researching," Jack sighed regretfully. "Your new book should be ready a long time ago."

Kevin laughed.

"I know I’m older than you are, but I’m not that old! I have plenty of time to pursue a career in science, but my youth will not come back. My peers were dating, I was going to the library. They had fun at parties, I visited boring art gallery openings. I accepted all of this because... there is no point in deceiving myself, I was not interested in anything other than learning. But you know what? Geek is also a human being and sometimes he has a desire to have fun, laugh, meet people, but he cannot do it. Do you think I didn’t feel lonely watching my friends go for a beer and not invite me?"

"You said you weren’t interested in parties."

"Because they didn’t interest me. I was interested in people, their company. But they didn’t like the fact that I don’t drink alcohol or talk about topics that interest them. They felt I was above them and judging them, while I just didn’t like alcohol and had no idea about the topics they were talking about, so I kept silent. But that’s not what I mean. I mean, you didn’t mind that I don’t drink alcohol ... "

"You drink sometimes," remarked Lambert.

"Yes, but at the beginning of our relationship, the occasions to drink were much less. Somehow you didn’t have a problem that when you were drinking wine I was drinking tea, when you were drinking beer I was drinking juice."

"Of course! Why would it bother me? "

"You’ve never forced me to talk about topics that I know nothing about, and you didn’t look at me like a freak just because I had extensive knowledge of complete stranger topics."

"Because you always spoke very interesting and I could learn something from you, and besides... You know, I really have a soft spot for intellectuals. I find them very sexy," Jack muttered at him.

"You know what, I have a soft spot for athletes."

They kissed gently on the lips. There was tenderness between them. There was love between them and there was acceptance. Maybe it’s time for acceptance by other people as well?

"About party..." Moore began to say. "I’d like to have you by my side, but your work has a strict schedule and you can’t postpone anything. But if someone asks about my partner, let me make it clear that my man works. What do you think?"

"Do you want to do it yourself, without my support?"

"I’m a big boy, I can handle it."

"And your father? His corporation? This is a business party organized by the Moore Foundation. Are you sure you want to do this?"

"But I will not stand in the middle of the room, I will not ask for attention by ringing a glass with a fork. But if someone asks where my accompanying person is, I will explain that he is working. I would also like to say that this is you. What do you think?"

***

"Jack, do you have a minute?"

Lambert looked surprised at Paxton. Although the relationship between the drivers had improved considerably since Steve was with Martin, Paxton still wasn’t quite as friendly with him as to ask for a talk. So Jack was surprised. The look on his friend’s face made him feel anxious too.

"Sure thing. Something happened?"

"You could say. In private, please."

Lambert looked at the maintenance people bustling around. Then he smiled at Steve and said, "Let’s go."

Jack was surprised that Paxton led him to Jack’s office. He hadn’t suspected that the matter Steve wanted to discuss with him required such intimacy, but from the look on Paxton’s face, he could tell.

"Something is going on, isn’t it?" he asked concerned.

"Please keep what I say to yourself. Will you be able to do this?"

"How close?"

"I know you have no secrets from Kevin, and I am not going to ask you to start having them for me. Karl knows what I want to say too. I don’t want Martin to find out. Will you be able to keep a secret from him?"

"What’s going on Steve, you’re starting to bother me."

"I’m not going back to the track."

"WHAT?!!!"

"I can not. I have dizziness, balance disorders, spatial orientation disorders. I don’t know if I will be back on the track... ever."

"You must be kidding ..."

Jack was completely stunned at the news, to the point that he sat down. He didn’t know how to react or what to say. He felt as if he had heard something absolutely incredible.

"I’d like to, but no, I’m not kidding." Steve sat down heavily across from him. "For some time now, I have had strange symptoms that started to bother me, so I started doing tests, visiting specialists. I don’t die of it, I take medication and it’s not that bad, but driving a car on a track requires such concentration and reflexes that..." Paxton shook his head helplessly.

"Can it be cured?" Jack asked.

"You can weaken it so that you can live with it, but you can’t drive the car with it. My career is ... over."

No it is not possible! So suddenly? So violently? At the time when Steve was just starting to become successful? Steve Paxton, this brilliant driver who hit the track by storm and delighted people with the virtuosity of his driving will not return to the track?

"I do not believe!" Jack announced. "There must be a chance ..."

"There is," Paxton announced. Lambert sensed that he was still struggling with his emotions, his despair and his fear. "Very tiny, but it is. We need to do more tests. Karl has decided to help me and hasn’t taken me off the list yet, but... You will end this season without me."

"Steve, if you need help with anything, anything ..."

"That’s why I asked you for a conversation. I mean Martin. As his lover, his partner, I should tell him, but I don’t want him to know. Not yet. I want to tell him after his first race and gradually so that he doesn’t have to worry about me and he can focus on racing, because one of them has to bring our stable by the end of the season ..."

Jack was still shocked to hear that Steve was not returning to the track. Only a driver can understand what car racing really means for a driver, what emotions and experiences are connected with it. For the viewer, it’s just a sport, but for enthusiasts like him or Steve, racing is a lifetime. If someone suddenly took the opportunity to race from Jack, it would feel as if his heart was ripped out of him. Does Steve feel the same?

Of course it is, or even worse. After all, racing was what kept him alive and mentally healthy when his remorse consumed his heart. Now these races are taken away from him ...

If this happened to Jack, he would be mad with despair and rage. Of course, the first thing he would do would be to complain to Kevin, but Kevin was not the driver to replace him.

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