My Romance Life System
Chapter 27: Open Up

Chapter 27: Open Up

We just stood there on the sidewalk, phones pressed to our ears, listening to each other’s quiet breathing. I lowered my phone first, and she did the same a second later.

"You were following me," she said. It wasn’t a question.

"You ran off," I replied. "I was trying to find you to apologize."

The first thing that hit me, clear as anything, was this wave of relief. ’She didn’t hear them.’ She had been walking behind me, which meant she couldn’t have heard what Tyler and Ronnie said.

She didn’t hear them talk about her like that. The thought that she was safe from their disgusting words was the only good thing that had happened in the last hour. The rage I felt was still there, but now it was different. It was quiet, and it was all about her.

"What are you doing back here?" I asked.

"I... I forgot my textbook," she said, her voice small. "I came back for it."

We were just standing there, an awkward, silent island in the middle of the sidewalk. I knew I couldn’t have this conversation here. Not after everything.

"Look," I said, my voice coming out more firm than I expected. "Can we... can we go somewhere? I’ll buy you a coffee or something. I just... I need to say something, and I can’t do it here."

She just looked at me for a second, her expression was hard to read. I was pretty sure she was going to say no, to tell me to leave her alone again. But she just gave this tiny, almost invisible nod.

I knew a small café a few blocks away. It was quiet, the kind of place no one from our school would ever go to. We walked in silence. I was hyper-aware of every scrape my shoe made on the ground, every person who glanced at us as we passed. My mind was a mess. What they said about her, what I’d done in class, what i saw on the roof. It was all tangled up, and I had no idea how to start unraveling it.

We found a small table in the back corner. I ordered two coffees because I didn’t know what else to do, and the woman behind the counter brought them over. Nina just stared into her cup, her fingers wrapped around the warm mug. She wasn’t looking at me. She was still mad. I didn’t blame her.

I sat there, my own coffee getting cold, trying to figure out how to start. I kept trying to find the perfect words, the right combination that would fix everything. I was treating it like some kind of math problem, like if I just found the right formula, the answer would be okay.

’This is so stupid,’ I thought, finally looking at her. ’You’re just making it worse.’

I took a breath. And then I just started talking.

"I’m sorry," I said, the words feeling small and stupid but they were all I had. "For this morning. In class. Sorry for ignoring you. That was a shitty thing to do."

She didn’t look up, but I saw her fingers tighten around her mug.

"It wasn’t about you," I continued, my voice quiet. "I wasn’t embarrassed of you, or trying to play games, or any of that stuff you said in your text. It’s... me. I’m the one who’s screwed up."

I stopped and looked down at my own hands. ’Just say it, you idiot. Just tell her.’

"I’m scared of people looking at me," I said, and the words felt like they were being pulled out of me one by one. "When everyone in the class turns and stares... I just shut down. It feels like... like I’m thirteen again."

She looked up at me, confused. "Thirteen?"

I took a breath. This was it. I was either going to tell her the real reason or this was never going to work.

"In middle school," I started, my voice quiet. "I was pretty much the same as I am now. Quiet, kept to myself. I ate lunch alone, I read manga during breaks. I didn’t have any friends. I didn’t think I needed any. It was just easier that way."

I looked at my coffee cup, tracing the rim with my finger. "Then this new kid transferred in, about halfway through 7th grade. His name was AJ. He sat next to me in science class. One day, he saw me drawing a character from this anime I was watching, and he didn’t make fun of me. He just asked what show it was from."

A small smile found its way onto my face without me even noticing. "We started talking after that. It turned out he was into all the same stuff I was. Same games, same shows. For the first time, I had someone to talk to about all the nerdy shit I liked. We started hanging out every day. We’d go to each other’s houses after school and just play video games for hours. He was my best friend. My only friend, really."

I stopped, the memory feeling so clear it was like it happened yesterday. "It was the first time in my life I didn’t feel like a complete weirdo for liking the things I liked. It was the first time I didn’t feel alone."

I looked up at her. She was just listening, her full attention on me. It made it easier to keep going.

"Then, at the end of 8th grade, his dad got a job in another city. They were moving that summer. It sucked, but we promised we’d stay in touch. We had our phones, we could still play online together. I really believed it would be okay."

The good feeling from the memory started to fade. "For the first few weeks, it was fine. We texted all the time, just like normal. But then... it started to slow down. I’d text him about a new game, and it would take him a day to reply. The replies got shorter, too. Went from full sentences to just ’cool’ or ’lol’."

"I kept trying," I said, my voice getting a little thicker. "I figured he was just busy with his new school, making new friends. I’d ask him if he wanted to play something on the weekend, and he’d say he couldn’t, that he had plans. It happened a few times. Then a few more. Eventually, I just stopped asking."

"I sent him a message on his birthday that year. Just ’Happy Birthday, man.’ He never even opened it. I checked. It just said ’Delivered’."

I looked down at my hands. They were clenched into fists on the table. I didn’t even realize I’d done it.

"And that was it. He was gone. I just got... erased. Like I never mattered. And I decided right then that I was never going to let that happen again. It’s easier to be alone than to have someone you care about just... decide you’re not worth their time anymore and disappear."

I finally looked at her. Her expression was completely soft, and she was looking at me like she was seeing something entirely new.

"This morning," I said, my voice barely a whisper. "When we were walking, and everyone was staring and whispering... it just all came back. I felt that same panic. I felt like any second, you were going to look at me, and look at everyone else, and realize... you were making a mistake. That you were the popular girl and I was just some loner nobody, and you’d just... disappear too."

"So I shut down," I finished, feeling completely drained. "I ignored you because I was a coward. I was afraid that if you saw what it was like to be around me, with everyone watching, you’d leave. And I figured it would hurt less if I just pushed you away first. It was stupid, and it was selfish, and I’m so, so sorry, Nina."

The café was quiet. I had said everything. All of it. I just sat there, waiting for her to say something, to tell me I was an idiot, to get up and leave.

But she didn’t.

A single tear rolled down her cheek. Then another. She didn’t make a sound, just sat there as silent tears streamed down her face. She wasn’t sobbing or making a scene. She was just... crying. For me.

She reached her hand across the table, not to touch me, but just... offering it.

"Kofi," she said, her voice choked with emotion. "You’re such a dumbass."

And even though she was crying, and her voice was a mess, there was a small, watery smile on her face. "But... thank you. For telling me."