My Curse? A Different Yandere in Every Reincarnation
Chapter 132: Brief Mourning

Chapter 132: Brief Mourning

I know I don’t have much time, but besides being tired, I couldn’t just abandon my friend’s body. I was so exhausted that I couldn’t even use my technique.

So I dug a shallow grave with my hands, my storage ring has nothing useful, and unfortunately I was so unwell and sad that I didn’t even think of taking a healing pill.

So as soon as about 10 minutes passed and I could walk, I tried to do this to bury her.

I was so messed up in the head that I didn’t even hear Yui trying to talk to me, I just dug a shallow grave with my hands, my nails broke and blood stained my fingers, but I kept going until the hole had space to put the body of the only friend I made and that I killed.

And after burying her, I started crawling through the forest until I paid attention to Yui who warned me to take a healing pill, it must have been almost 4 hours since I’ve been here.

I spent a lot of time trying to dig the site for Lyuei, I didn’t even have time to mourn her death, because I knew Yeom would soon arrive, of course I know that wasting time digging a hole with my hands is bad.

However, I couldn’t just leave Lyuei’s body in the forest without giving her a simple grave.

"Shizune, you should stop, just because you’re healed doesn’t mean you’re well enough to keep going," Yui says, flying in front of me, seeing how tired my body is.

Even though the healing pill has repaired the damage, it didn’t take away my fatigue and general pain, so my body hurts a lot and I’m exhausted.

"If I stop now... Yeom will soon find me..." I murmur to her, stumbling over a root and falling to the ground, I’m not focused enough, so I’ve fallen several times.

"Shizune! You’re just punishing yourself by doing this! You don’t even know where you’re going!"

"Does it matter? It’s not like I’m going to die."

"..."

"Shizune, are you hearing what you’re saying!? Of course it matters, you need to rest right now," Yui continues, this is the seventh time we’ve had this same dialogue, she keeps telling me to rest.

"Yui, can you shut up?" I say irritated with her, who won’t stop asking me to rest.

"...Lyuei chose to die with the honor of a cultivator, it wasn’t your fault, just because she died doesn’t mean everything has stopped for you to have time to mourn," She speaks harshly to me.

It fits her perfectly, life can sometimes be very hard on people, and it seems Yui is no longer as patient.

I decide to listen to her this time for her to stop talking, I just sit on the root of a dirty tree, looking at the cloudy sky, I think there will be a storm soon, while I was digging the hole, a few drops had also fallen.

"Yui... why did Lyuei want to die... I... don’t understand," I ask, looking at the gray sky, it represents me well at the moment, everything is a real mess.

I would have preferred Lyuei to have attacked me cowardly and tried to kill me with everything she had, instead of having honorably asked for a fight and waited for me to accept while also fighting with honor in the fight.

"Shizune, do you really not understand?"

"No..."

"...I’m sorry, but I won’t give you that answer, if you can’t understand this, then I guess it’s not the time, maybe in the future you’ll understand why Lyuei chose to die by your hands."

"..."

"Shizune, you think this is unfair, but it’s not, you can’t get frustrated and think that life is unfair, I’m impartial at all times, if something doesn’t seem fair at one moment, it’s because that wasn’t the moment to pay back."

"If you think you’re so fair, then why don’t you free me from this damned curse? Or better yet, why don’t you make me die for good?"

"I can’t do that," Yui denies my request with sadness.

"I imagined so..." I speak with sarcasm.

"Shizune... I want to leave, please send me back," Yui says, sitting beside me as the raindrops begin to drip, threatening to start raining now.

"Will you abandon me?" I speak with irony, finding it ridiculous how she only wants to leave when everything has become bad, right when I need the most support.

"I’m not abandoning you, I just think you need some time alone, you can call me when you feel better."

"Liar, you’re just cowardly leaving," She’s just going to leave because I’m at my worst.

"No, I’m just trying to do what’s best for you, you just don’t understand," Yui speaks sadly, as if she were a little disappointed in me.

"I don’t understand this, I don’t understand that, do you think I’m stupid? Is that it? Am I so stupid that I don’t understand anything anymore?" I speak to her angrily, the contempt showing in my voice as my hand clenches tightly.

"Shizune, I’m just trying to help, I don’t think you’re stupid, but you’re letting your emotions speak louder... but know that I’m just trying to do what’s best for you."

"I know Lyuei was your friend and you thought she was important, but you still have..."

"Get out of here right now, go away," I don’t believe her, even though we’ve spent some time together, she doesn’t owe me anything and I don’t owe her anything, she doesn’t even have reasons to really help me.

I make her leave before she can say anything else, I’m not well enough to talk to someone now.

"...Great..." I murmur as the rain starts, the rain is very cold and quickly increases, wetting my body, the tree is not enough to protect me from the heavy rain.

I just hug myself to protect myself a little from the cold, unfortunately I don’t have anything to help me in the situation, even in my storage ring, and trying to make an ice dome, besides being too tiring for my current self, would only make the weather colder.

"...This is unfair..." Yui doesn’t understand, I know what she meant, I know she just wanted to help me, but she’ll never understand how frustrating all this is for me.

It’s not just about losing a friend, it’s a fact that I feel terrible for having had to kill the only friend I made, but the worst of all is to realize that in every world I go to, any emotional connection I make will be quickly shattered to pieces.

Whether friends, families, and even trying to have pets, all of this has an "expiration date" that lasts a maximum of a few months if I’m lucky.

This is the most frustrating, what’s the point of having friends who can only be with me for a few months at most? And worst of all, how many of these friends will be killed because of my fault?

It’s terrible to know that I will always be the indirect or direct cause of the death of anyone I care about.

My body starts to tremble with cold, the raindrops wetting my whole kimono while the blood begins to be washed away along with the dirt on my body.

This makes me think of Lyuei, I really got attached to the friendship I had with her, it was something simple, a fragile bond, but genuine that I had, a bond that was not formed by love or obsession, but by true friendship.

’The rain has increased...’ The storm increases to what I think is its peak, lightning flashes across the sky as their thunderous roars are easily audible where I am, the rain also becomes too strong, shaking the trees as the environment darkens due to the lack of sun.

In these moments I wish I had someone with me, but calling Yui would be very brazen after I practically expelled her when she was just trying to be nice in her own way.

I get up from the place where I am and start walking aimlessly, but without haste, soon Yeom must find me, so all I want to do is at least enjoy the passage of time a little while I’m alone.

"..." I walk through the rain, my wet footsteps making a small muffled sound from the sound of the storm as I look around, even in the midst of the storm the place is full of life.

I see birds taking shelter in trunks and nests in the trees, I see insects hidden from the storm and even larger animals in holes.

My clothes get dirty with mud because of the water hitting the muddy ground, but without caring about it, I just walk in the cold.

"Haaa... Will it be the same in all worlds?" I murmur, asking myself that, so far all the worlds in general have done me harm, and the few rare ones were the only ones where I didn’t have many problems.

I wonder how long I’ll be stuck in this, how much more I’ll suffer until Sayuri is satisfied.

This makes me realize something and notice why Yui seemed so sad, it’s because we’re "friends" too, for Yui it must seem that I don’t see it that way, she’s been with me for a while and has always tried to help me.

We’ve had some good conversations and spent time together that was fun, but knowing that she’s not a human like me, things get weird, and as soon as I got my first human friend, I practically left her aside.

She must be hurt by this, even though I’ve known her longer than I’ve known Lyuei, but just because she’s not human, she’s been pushed into second place.

I kick the ground angrily and frustrated.

"Great, I lost a friend and pushed the other away because I was frustrated... it seems I can only destroy the relationships I create," I decide to just keep walking, calling Yui now doesn’t seem right.

We both need some time alone and away from each other, maybe I should apologize to Yui when I call her again, I should have realized that even with everything being a mess, we’re friends too.