My Alphas' Dark Desires
Chapter 168: Emotions Gone Wrong

Chapter 168: Emotions Gone Wrong

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Chapter 169

~Valerie’s POV~

Axel’s smile vanished like a light had been blown out.

I studied his expression, watched for anything that I could tackle home with later, but after what seemed like eternity, Axel leaned back, gaze drifting upward, and exhaled slowly.

"Are you sure you want to know it?"

I nodded, though something inside me had already curled tight in warning.

"Well, mine was different from the others as you may have already guessed."

I gave a silent nod and waited.

"Sure." His voice was low. "It wasn’t during training. Or some ceremony. It was on an alliance tour. Just me, my father, and a few elders from the Western council. We were passing through the Sable Cliffs, forging treaties with the River packs and Moonborne Packs."

His words came carefully, like glass pulled from old wounds.

"We were ambushed," he said. "No warning. Just blood and silence breaking like thunder."

I swallowed, feeling the weight of his voice as he continued. But I blinked and hesitated. Axel told the story like Astraea had said, carefully explaining every detail.

But something was not right when I heard him say his friend.

"Wait," I said softly. "Wasn’t it your sister who died?"

Axel stopped.

His jaw twitched as he turned his eyes toward me, and I immediately regretted the question.

"Is this your story to tell, Valerie?" he asked, his voice still calm, but laced with something sharper. "Or are you going to keep believing the outsider versions?"

"I—I’m sorry," I said quickly. "I didn’t mean it like that."

Axel paused for a moment longer. Then, with a short breath, he chuckled lightly and bumped my shoulder.

"Relax. I’m kidding. Mostly."

I stared at him, eyes narrowing. "You are impossible."

"That’s been said." He glanced ahead again. "But no, I didn’t lose a sister. I don’t even have one as I said. The world thinks I lost a sister because of how deeply it affected me but in truth, the Saline Rose Pack’s Alpha didn’t want news of his daughter’s death spreading. So people thought it was my cousin, Arabella."

My mouth opened a little, shocked. "Then—?"

"It wasn’t her," Axel said, voice quieter now. "We let people believe what they would. The one I lost... was Sapphire."

He looked down at his hands, fingers curling slightly like memory still lived in his palms.

"She was my childhood sweetheart," he said, softer. "My first love."

My breath caught. "Oh."

"She was a few months younger than me," he added. "Not my mate. Not yet. But I was sure—so sure—that when she turned eighteen, she’d bear my mark. I felt it."

He blinked rapidly, then exhaled.

"She was light and filled with laughter. Clumsy on two feet, perfect on four paws. And gods... she loved climbing trees. Said it helped her think."

I felt my throat tighten.

"We were attacked," Axel continued. "I was cornered. A blade to my neck, a spell freezing my shift. I didn’t see her until I smelled her. Her scent always hit before her voice. She’d run in. No warning. Just..." he swallowed. "She took the hit. Jumped right between me and the blade."

Silence pressed heavily around us.

"She died in my arms," he said. "Bleeding, gasping, and still smiling."

I turned toward him fully, but he was already looking up at the sky.

"She was my first kiss," he said, blinking hard. "My first love." He hesitated.

"My first sex."

I stilled. "First sex? Didn’t that happen when you were fifteen or—?"

Axel shook his head, his voice raw now. "No. On her sixteenth birthday. She made me promise. Said it was all she wanted for her birthday."

He sniffed, swiping the corner of his sleeve against his cheek like he relived that beautiful moment.

"She died three months after."

Shock rippled through my chest. My lips parted, but I didn’t know what to say. "I... I’m sorry," I finally whispered. "I didn’t know it was..."

"That painful?" he cut in, turning toward me. Something dark flashed in his eyes at that moment. "When you go asking for people’s scars, Valerie, be ready for what bleeds out. You’re not just pulling up stories. You’re reopening graves."

I flinched. "I didn’t mean to—"

"Why?" he demanded. "To make us more human? To convince yourself we’re not monsters?"

My breath caught, and pain laced through me. "No," I said quietly. "I never thought that. I cared, Axel. I wanted to connect."

"You don’t need the past to connect," he muttered, shaking his head. "You just need to show up now. You don’t have to go digging up the bones to hold someone’s hand."

His voice was sharp and final. Those words hurt me and suddenly, I couldn’t breathe.

"I’m... I’m sorry."

"Sorry, Val," he scoffed, pain laced in his voice. "You sure? Because you seemed pretty eager to dig up dirt just now."

"That’s not fair, Axel."

"Then why, after locking lips with Dristan and Kai willingly, did you choose me to talk and then straight you went digging?"

"Axel..." I shut my eyes. I wasn’t looking for dirt. All I wanted was a way to connect because deep down I thought I had finally found that mate I could open up to about my past, who I really am.

"Fine," I said, standing. "You’ve made your point. I made a mistake coming to you. I made a terrible mistake reopening your lover’s memories. Forgive me if I decided to connect with you wrongly."

I waited, gave him a chance to speak but Axel didn’t. Instead, he looked away, his eyes glued to the sky above.

There was no attempt to stop me or to look at me or say anything.

Pain stitched into my chest, blooming sharp and fast. I turned away, tears burning behind my eyes. "I made a mistake. But don’t push me away like I came here to hurt you."

Still, there were no words from him... nothing.

I turned and walked away. My boots hit gravel as I headed back the path we came until I saw him.

Xade.

He was leaning against the wall near the corner of the greenhouse, arms crossed. Watching.

His blue eyes locked on mine as I stormed past. But I didn’t get far. Xade caught my wrist in one clean motion, pulled me into his arms before I could protest.

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