Modern Family: New Life
Chapter 129: Halloween III

Chapter 129: Halloween III

The first room was ready. Though not entirely...

At that moment, Cam approached Claire holding a skull-shaped glass filled with juice and said in a tragic tone, "Claire... I don’t know if I’m in the mood to do this."

Claire narrowed her eyes and replied with the patience of someone who already knew exactly where this was going, "And why not, Cam? What happened that was so terrible you can’t bring yourself to say it... and yet you won’t stop talking about it?"

Cam sighed dramatically, staring down at the reddish liquid swirling in his glass, "I can’t. It makes me cry."

"Perfect," said Claire dryly, turning away. "Another day then."

But that was Cam’s cue, "I was ten years old."

Everyone, absolutely everyone, was forced to listen, out of "respect" for Cam’s great trauma.

"I was on a porch, dressed as Quasimodo," Cam began with nostalgic flair. "Next to my best friend, Timmy Reglar. He was a Ghostbuster. We were going door to door. And at one house, there was a bucket of candy with a sign that said: ’Take one.’"

Claire nodded slowly, not very enthusiastically, kids could arrive at any moment, but she had no choice.

"One..." Claire echoed under her breath, like a resigned churchgoer at mass.

"But Timmy..." Cam continued, his voice trembling slightly, "Timmy dumped the whole bucket into his bag. Timmy didn’t follow rules. I admired that about him... and it terrified me."

"A boy who didn’t follow rules, like me in my teenage years," murmured Phil.

Cam didn’t hear him. Or pretended not to, "But then..." he went on with intensity, "The bag ripped. Just as a group of kids turned the corner. And the candy spilled all over the ground. And without hesitation, Timmy yelled: ’It was Cam!’"

A sacred silence fell. As if everyone was waiting for the climax of a Shakespearean tragedy.

But just then... the doorbell rang, and high-pitched voices sang from the porch:

"Trick or treat!"

Claire clapped her hands twice with authority, "Places, everyone! First victims incoming! This is not a drill!"

Cam huffed in frustration, "Is that how my story ends?!"

"Yes. For now. Head on the tray, Quasimodo!" Claire ordered.

Phil stood up straight, Claire grabbed her prop clipboard, Haley took her place next to the table, and Gloria rose with the candy basket held high.

Jay remained in his role as Gargoyle, with the special effects remote. Manny and Luke hid, ready to jump out and scare the kids who would enter after Claire’s dramatic intro.

Cam slowly got into position, adjusting his head under the silver tray, still muttering under his breath, "...it was Cam... it was Cam..."

"Shhh!" Haley hushed him with a grimace, slamming the tray down with a loud clank, "You’re dead. And dead people don’t talk."

Phil, with a small headset mic and flashlight aimed at his face, whispered in a spooky tone, "Enter... if you dare..."

The front door opened on its own, thanks to a cord discreetly pulled by Claire, letting in two children.

A little girl with pink wings and a magic wand, and a boy wearing a pumpkin mask. They looked around seven years old, eyes wide and mouths slightly open, caught between excitement and fear.

The Dunphy house had a strong Halloween reputation. And for these two kids, it was their first time visiting. If they managed to grab some candy, it’d be a big achievement to brag about with their friends.

Claire saw them and murmured, "Dad."

"Huh? What? Oh! My turn!" Jay said, snapping out of his stillness. He leaned over his remote with a frown, "Let’s see, how did this go again?"

Phil continued his monologue without missing a beat, "Thank you for joining us tonight... at the asylum..."

"No, no, no!" Claire cut in, waving a hand. "Thunder and lightning first! Dad!"

"Yes, yes, I got it!" Jay replied, pressing a button.

From the back of the room came a pitiful puff of fog. Like someone had boiled water in a kettle.

Claire closed her eyes in frustration, gritting her teeth, "Great..."

Phil kept going anyway, like any good host, "This is the waiting room. Here you’ll meet some of our patients... and their tragic fate!"

"HELLO CHILDREN!" Gloria said in a robotic tone.

"I AM THE WITCH. I AM VERY NORMAL. PLEASE... ENJOY CANDY."

The two kids stared at her in complete silence.

The little girl, still holding her wand up, leaned toward Claire and asked awkwardly, "Can we... have the candy now?"

She was disappointed. Lots of older kids at school said the Dunphy house was hard to get through, but now she just wanted to leave, and not because she was scared. Because it was weird. A house full of weirdos.

Claire put on her best forced smile, "Yes... but first, a warning."

Haley, already in position, raised the silver tray dramatically, "Beware!" she announced. "Because here... one might lose their head!"

She yanked the tray off with flair, revealing Cam’s face.

He looked up with resignation, eyes half-closed, and said flatly:

"Boo."

Silence. The kids blinked, confused.

"That was it?" the boy whispered.

Cam, completely oblivious to the general disappointment, had mentally drifted back to his childhood.

"Timmy ran off," he continued, ignoring everyone, "I wanted to run too, but my hunchback... my hunchback got caught... and I fell. I hit the ground hard."

His voice cracked like he was remembering a war.

Claire closed her eyes, took a deep breath... and with total calm, grabbed the silver lid from Haley and placed it firmly on Cam’s head with a sharp clack.

"That’s enough."

"I saw his feet!" said the boy, pointing under the table.

"Perfect," replied Claire, summoning all her strength not to scream.

"Take these candies, kids. And have a very happy Halloween."

Gloria held out the basket as the children grabbed their sweets and slowly backed away from the talking head, the American witch, and the nurse.

But just before turning to leave, the little girl looked back and asked, "That’s it?"

Claire blinked. The final stab. But she managed to keep her composure.

"Well... no. If you’re brave," she said, straightening up a little, "there’s a second room. Much scarier. But it’s only for the courageous. That’s where... the most dangerous patients are."

Both kids stood very still.

"If you make it through the walkthrough," Claire added with a mysterious tone, "you’ll get more candy. But no help. You’ll have to follow the marks on the floor. And be careful. Some patients... are loose."

The girl and the boy looked at each other.

What they had just experienced had been a disappointment, yes...

but also an insult to their childhood reputation. They couldn’t go back with such a lame story, and if they could get more candy, even better.

"Let’s go," said the girl confidently, "We can do it."

Claire led them to the dark hallway. She opened the door solemnly.

Inside, a dim red light lit the walls.

"Follow the marks on the floor," Claire said. "Good luck."

She closed the door gently.

And stood there for a few seconds with her eyes closed.

Then she turned, walked back to the others, and said in a dangerously patient tone, "Okay. That was a disaster. We’re off to a bad start."

"First of all, Dad, it’s thunder, lightning, then fog. In that order. It’s not that hard. I need you to do it right, not just push buttons like a kid with a remote."

Jay looked up from his gargoyle chair, frowning, "Now I’m getting lectures?"

Claire ignored him and turned to Gloria, "You, why are you talking in that ridiculous fake accent? Can I ask for just a little seriousness?"

"What do you want? Should I do it like a telenovela Latina?" Gloria snapped, clearly annoyed, now speaking with an over-the-top dramatic accent,

"Welcome to the house of horrors, children! ¡Los vamos a matar del miedo!"

"I didn’t say that!" Claire exclaimed.

"The daughter’s just like the father. You both criticize how I speak," Gloria declared, crossing her arms.

Claire sighed in defeat and turned to Haley, "You," she said, pointing to the tray, "You lifted the lid too fast. There had to be suspense."

Haley, adjusting her costume, looked at her mother with mock outrage and said, "Excuse me?! I was the best part of that whole scene. I was the only one acting like this was a haunted house and not some get-together for dysfunctional retirees. And I was standing next to a depressed talking head!"

"I’ll give you that one," said Claire, then turned toward Manny and Luke.

"What happened with you two? You were supposed to scare them from the shadows!"

Manny shrugged, his tone always philosophical, "We got lost in the emotional atmosphere of the scene. I was following Cam’s arc. It felt more honest not to interrupt him."

"I was following the fog to see where it was coming from, and I forgot," Luke replied simply.

Just then, Mitchell walked in from the kitchen, baby Lily in his arms, "I heard screaming," said Mitchell, "but it doesn’t sound like terror. More like... adult frustration."

He looked at his sister and frowned, "Is our Halloween reputation at risk?"

Even though he didn’t feel like dressing up this year after what happened at work, the family had a reputation to uphold. And if that meant putting on a ridiculous costume to keep the Dunphy Halloween legacy alive... Mitchell would do it.

Claire crossed her arms firmly, "Not all is lost. The night is young, we can still rehearse and improve. Besides, the kids only saw the appetizer," she said, pointing toward the door with her index finger.

"Because now they’re entering the second room... where Andrew and Willa are waiting."

Everyone fell silent.

And as if on cue, a high-pitched scream echoed from the second room.

Mitchell tilted his head, a mix of professional concern and family pride on his face, "Well... that was a real scream. That’s good, right? Though... do you think there’s a chance we’ll get sued?"

Phil leaned toward the hallway, his eyes lighting up like a kid on Christmas morning.

"That was the sound of a real scare! That’s how it’s done, team! I’m so proud of those kids! We can’t let them down, we need to deliver a full experience even in this first room!"

"Well... at least someone will have a traumatic experience tonight that isn’t me," Cam muttered.

Jay snorted from his corner, but what looked like a faint smile crept onto his face.

Gloria clutched her chest, startled, "Oh my God! That scream came from a child! Are they okay in there? What if Andrew went too far? That boy takes things way too seriously sometimes. And his friend seemed just as intense!"

Haley, looking toward the door, smirked slightly, "Yeah... Willa does take things very seriously. She’s scary even when she offers you juice."

Luke, pale, peeked out from behind the couch. He’d done well not to go into that second room. Manny was also visibly relieved to have stayed behind.

Claire, standing in the center of the living room, looked around at everyone with seriousness, but also that small competitive glint she was known for.

"That..." Claire said, pointing toward the hallway to the second room, "That is the sound of redemption."

Everyone was quiet for a moment, knowing exactly where competitive Claire was headed.

She stepped forward with the energy of a coach at halftime, "But we can’t fall behind. We’re the first room! The opening act! We can’t be the pathetic warm-up to what is clearly becoming the ultimate Dunphy Halloween experience! We’re supposed to be a team. Two rooms. One reputation."

Phil nodded solemnly, and at that exact moment, the doorbell rang again.

"Trick or treat!"

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