Miho the Killer
Chapter 60: Memory

Chapter 60: Memory

I decided to spend another night at the hospital with Miho. I was once used to going back to my flat and enjoying the night spent in solitude, but I realized I was becoming increasingly more dependent on Miho. We hardly even interacted these days, especially with her recent depression that made her so withdrawn to herself. Yet, I found solace in her presence even if we did not communicate. There was something soothing about just being around her and it reminded me of something I read a long time ago, that sound of a cat’s purr had a soothing effect. Perhaps the sound of Miho’s gentle breathing worked that way for me, as much as her beastly roar could captivate my heart.

It was, once again, not easy to fall asleep though even laying on my bed pushed right up against hers. As cozy as I felt in her presence, I couldn’t deny the fact that I kept on wanting more and more of her. Maybe it wasn’t right that I lay next to her while she was restrained - I thought to myself. It was a first-class creep thing to do, I had to admit. Like a butterfly to a flower though, I just couldn’t help myself. So like a creep, I crept into her bed once again, laying next to her and hugging her like a big plushy.

But just as I was finally drifting to sleep, I was startled by a sudden meow from my cat.

"Sohee-"

I bolted up from the bed like a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

"Ye-, yes?"

"I want to go outside."

She turned her head to face me. Our faces were dangerously close, and her incredulous eyes were hard to refuse. It was the first time in a long time that she called out my name like this - that one time two days ago when she was having a breakdown didn’t really count.

"Miho, are you feeling alright?"

"I feel like I’m suffocating."

Feeling guilty, I broke away from my embrace - can’t believe I was keeping it up even after she woke up - and unwrapped my leg from her.

"I’m sorry."

"That’s not what I meant."

I looked into her eyes which glittered in the faint glow of moonlight.

"I want to get some fresh air. I haven’t been stuck here for too long."

Miho sounded completely lucid as if my heroine was finally back to normal.

"I don’t know if that’s allowed."

"Just for a while. Please."

I knew this was a battle I couldn’t win.

"I promise to be good." She promised.

"OK."

I slowly undid her restraint to free her against my good sense - if I had any at this point.

"Thank you."

Once all the restraints were gone, she finally smiled - for the first time since she moved to the hospital.

I helped her get up as she was struggling to lift her body, putting my arm around her behind her shoulders and pulling her gently. Her body felt frail.

She took some time taking and letting out deep breaths and sat on the edge of the bed. I went to the closet in the room and found some spare slippers, helped her wear them, and let her gently slide down onto my bed, and then onto the floor. She wavered a little as she stood up for the first time in a while, so I wrapped my arm around her waist to steady her body.

We then quietly sneaked out of her room and headed toward the elevator. I felt like we were two kids sneaking out at night, trying not to wake up the night-shift nurse who was fast asleep in her seat at the counter.

After a few more minutes of tiptoeing our way out of the hospital building, we were finally out in the open area leading to the quiet garden at the back of the hospital.

"Are you OK with walking?" I asked her, but I could already see that each step was getting firmer and steadier.

"Yeah. I’m already starting to feel better."

We walked for a few more minutes but by the time we arrived at the garden, Miho was already tired.

"Can I sit down for a while?" the tired girl asked, breathing a little heavily.

"Sure."

So we sat on a wooden bench, looking at the fountain that was filled with water. It was turned off at night, but the reflection of the night sky calmed our hearts.

"Sohee, I remembered something."

Miho spoke after a long silence. I feared what she might have remembered, but decided it was probably better to let her speak.

"I had a sister. Her name was Shiho."

So that was her name, not Sohee. The similar sound must have confused her back then.

"I see."

"And she died."

I didn’t know what to say.

"I came home from school one day. She worked night shifts but always waited for me to come home before she went to work. She always had dinner prepared for me. She could cook very well."

I inched my hand on the bench closer to hers and held it gently.

"My parents were always busy too. Both of them worked. Overtime every day. I hardly saw them."

I felt a pang of sympathy imagining the young Miho who had to spend most of her time at home alone.

"That day, I came home a little late. I don’t know what I was doing. But I remember I came home late. And when I walked in, it was very quiet. I thought it was weird because sis always used to come greet me by the door. I thought... maybe she’d gone out to work a little early that day."

"Right."

"So I didn’t know what was going on. I just went to my room and laid on my bed. Reading some comic books and listening to music. Just chilling out."

There was a gentle breeze in the air and her silky black hair was swaying a little.

"Then maybe an hour had passed. I got out of my room and headed toward the bathroom, and then..."

Her eyes were suddenly swelling up with tears.

"Shhh, it’s OK, Miho. You don’t know to tell me anything that makes you sad."

But she continued to speak anyway, her voice trembling.

"Then I saw blood. Blood seeped out from under the closed door of her room. And I..."

I held her hand tighter.

"I... I was scared... so scared... but I had to check my sister was OK. And when I opened the door..."

Tears were rolling down her cheeks now. I thought maybe I should stop her, but at the same time, perhaps she needed to let this out. So I lent her my ear.

"It looked like she was stabbed in the chest. Lying on her back on the floor. There was so much blood. So much blood... something - someone... had done something terrible to her. I..."

She wasn’t sobbing quietly anymore. She was fully crying.

"Sh... I’m so sorry to hear that, Miho. I’m so sorry..." I started to cry too.

"And I ran."

My heart was getting torn apart listening to her say these words.

"I ran... I ran... I ran away from my sister..."

I hugged her tightly and rubbed her back. She was crying uncontrollably now and couldn’t speak anymore. The pain and fear she must have felt, the experience of losing someone so dear in such a horrible way... It was not something I could even pretend to understand.

She cried for a long time but eventually calmed down.

"Do you think... I could have saved her? If I stayed...?"

"I don’t know, Miho. I don’t know... but I would have done the same... you were scared. I would have done the same..."

And I did the same to Miho on that staircase, the pool of blood growing from beneath her head. Our circumstances were different but I could understand the guilt she must have felt, the burden she had to bear in her heart.

"Eventually I came back... I was too scared to check on her. I couldn’t even get into her room. I couldn’t even look at my own sister. The blood scared me... I was so scared. I called the emergency service and just sat in the living room until they arrived. I only saw her getting carried out on a stretcher, her face covered in a sheet. I... couldn’t even see her face for the one last time... because I was so scared."

All I could do was try to comfort her, stroking her head.

"I was pathetic, wasn’t I? Hah..."

She wiped off her tears and made an awkward smile.

"It’s not your fault, Miho. I’m so sorry this happened to you."

"You know what happened afterward?"

"What... happened?"

"My parents never came back. Not on that night. Not on the next day. Not the day after. They never came back. Not even for the funeral."

I feared something must have happened to her parents as well, but I did not say.

Miho then slowly got up and I helped her steady herself.

"Well... I’m sorry for making you listen to my pathetic story. Let’s go back."

"It’s OK, Miho. I feel heartbroken for you... but I’ve never thought you are pathetic."

"Thank you... Let’s just... go back. I’m so tired."

With that, we walked back to the hospital again, hand in hand.

There and then I knew.

I would never abandon this girl ever again.