Miho the Killer
Chapter 38: Barrel

Chapter 38: Barrel

I could hardly sleep after discussing the plan to end Kwon. Once the plan was discussed and confirmed, it was clear that there was no more stopping it. Shin seemed different from Miho. During the two killings I had seen Miho commit, on the first kill she exuded an aura of a tigress on cocaine - not that I had an experience with it -, and when she killed Minji, she had an impossible mixture of aloofness and ice cold cool that was the polar opposite of the fire and pain she brought.

Shin on the other hand was business-like. He was cool-headed and thoughtful. What was more disturbing was his understated friendliness and cordial tone. It was almost as if he was an insurance man selling a premium product for a VIP, trying to tailor to the client’s demand to make them feel at ease and secure that anything that goes wrong in life will be covered.

It was ironic. Truly ironic. The whole thing was.

I also realized that having a face that connects with the perpetrator of Minji’s death and the future victim changed everything. He was no longer a shadowy figure, an empty void that I could pour my grudge into. The void previously absorbed every drop of hatred I could squeeze out. Violent fantasies, the desire to make one suffer, the raw emotions. They all fell right into the void - a bottomless pit. But now, there was no longer that black hole. It was a barrel. As I poured my emotions into it, the barrel filled up. And as it filled up, on the glimmering surface of the thick black liquid that rose, I could see myself reflected.

Kwon stood on the opposite side with the barrel between us. Whenever I looked up, I could see his face - smiling and distorting, transforming. I would look into the barrel once, see my reflection, and then look up to see his face, each time different expression. Every time my gaze traveled back to the rising liquid, my reflection got closer to me. I felt heavier as it neared me. Suffocating. Then the thick blackness spilled over eventually, starting to drip down the surface of the rusty barrel. It eventually flooded where we stood like a continuously rising level of sea.

In this sea, we melted. But there was no pain. I felt myself slowly liquify starting from my toe. As it happened, my melted body became a flat spread of oil on the black water, floating on the surface. Kwon was also dissolving, and our melted bodies that seemed insoluble continued to spread. Eventually meeting each other and get mixed up but not merging, like two different colors of oil paint coming in contact with each other on the surface of water.

And then as we became one, the thick black liquid started to flow back into the barrel, dragging the chaotic colors of Kwon and me into it together. The liquid flowed back from the ground, traveling along the surface of the barrel upward like a reversed and sped-up video recording. Soon I was trapped in the barrel together with the formless Kwon.

Then someone came, standing by the barrel and peeking into it. Looking at the thick oil cocktail of Kwon and I with disdain. First, it was Shin, then after I blinked once, it was Miho. And after that, I saw Minji. She took a long time to have a good look at us once, and she closed the lid.

I was trapped.

I was trapped in the barrel with Kwon.

Forever tangled with him, but unable to dissolve into the black liquid of all the emotions that poured out of me previously.

When the morning came, I felt like I hadn’t slept for a second. I was a train wreck, a car crash. Powdery remains of a burned-out cigarette on an ashtray.

I got out of bed with every fiber of my body in pain from tension. I put on my slippers and got out of my room. I walked to the hallway. I hesitated a little in front of Miho’s bedroom door. I turned the knob and opened it silently. I tip-toed my way toward her as she was sleeping. The soft and gentle rhythm sound of her breath was soothing. I felt my body loosen up.

I stood next to her bed and looked down at her. The face of an angel. A fallen angel with wings that turned black. Not by choice, but by the black liquid of human vileness that she fell into.

I bent down to bring my face closer to hers. I made eye contact with her closed eyes. I placed my palm on top of her head. I traced the curve of her face with it - stroking her hair, feeling the slight dip on her temple, then her ear, then her cheek, along her jaw bones, and reluctantly letting go at the end of her chin.

I gave a light kiss on her brows, left and right.

I gave a light kiss on the tip of her nose.

I gave a light kiss on each of her cheeks, right and left.

Then I kissed her on her forehead, a little longer.

Just a little longer.

Once I finally broke free, I turned and headed back to the door. I left Miho’s room and closed the door behind me. Quietly.

Shin stood in the hallway and said nothing. He was wearing a black suit. Impeccably clean white shirts. Contrast with the black necktie that hung like a reverse noose. Well-polished leather shoes.

He took out the sunglasses that were hanging from his jacket’s front pocket. He wiped the lenses clean with a white handkerchief. He held the temples of the glasses and slowly brought them up, carefully sliding them to fit.

His eyes were no longer visible, although I knew he was looking at me.

He saw everything through me. Those magic lenses.

I saw his lips start to part. Slow motion.

And then he spoke.

"Let’s go to work."