Merchant Crab
Chapter 223: The Peculiar Seven

“So let me see if I got this straight,” Balthazar said, sitting by the shore of his pond next to Bouldy. “You came across a fishing village on your way home?”

“Friend,” the golem said with a nod.

“And they were having some kind of party, festival, celebration, or something like that?”

“Friend.”

“And they asked you to join in and help?”

“Friend!”

“And then you wound up joining their… dance, was that it?”

Once more, the construct nodded. “Friend.”

Balthazar cocked an eyestalk at his bodyguard. “But you think you weren’t very good at it so the other guests left?”

The crab sighed loudly and placed the back of both pincers on the sides of his shell.

“Buddy, I’m going to be honest… Your story made almost no sense to me, but at least I’m glad you and Pebbles made it back safely and without encountering any dangers.”

“Friend!” Bouldy said with a wide smile.

“Cree!” exclaimed the little pebble on his shoulder.

“I missed you too,” Balthazar said, smiling back. “Wait. That still doesn’t explain where you got that floral wreath from.”

The golem reached up and gently grabbed the delicate crown sitting atop his head. It was a large circle made entirely of flowers of many colors, all carefully woven around a long vine that formed a circlet big enough to fit around his rocky dome.

“Friend,” said Bouldy, admiring the item in his hands.

“A gift from the friends you made at that village, eh?” said the merchant. “That’s nice, but next time maybe they could show you their appreciation with some coin for—Hey, oh, what are you…”

Balthazar’s eyestalks curved up as he saw his friend reach over and carefully place the crown upon his carapace.

[Floral Crown of Friendship equipped]

The wreath, fit for the golem’s huge head, sat comfortably on the crab’s wide shell too. Balthazar reached for his monocle and held it in front of his left eyestalk as he twisted it to look back at his own carapace.

[Floral Crown of Friendship]

[Equipment - Headgear]

[+1 to friendship]

Is that even a real system attribute?! The crab wondered.

“Friend,” Bouldy said, tilting his head and closing his eyes into a gentle smile.

Upon seeing his guardian’s expression of joy, Balthazar decided that wasn’t really important right now.

“Thanks for the gift, buddy,” he said, smiling back at the golem. “I will wear it with pride.”

***

The next day, in the early hours of the morning, Balthazar was already up and busy when Rye showed up at the bazaar.

“Good morning,” the archer said as he stepped through the front entrance. “That’s a nice flower wreath you’ve got on you.”

“Ah, good, you’re early!” the crab exclaimed upon seeing the adventurer. “It was a gift, but never mind that now. Maybe you could use those thumbs of yours to help me pack some things.”

“I came as soon as I got your message that Bouldy was finally home! And hey, I thought pincers were the far superior form of appendage?” the young man said with a cheeky smile. “Either way, I didn’t come alone! As promised, I’ve been looking around for some strong and trustworthy adventurers to join us, and I think I found just that.”

The merchant put down the boxes he was carrying and skittered to the front of the bazaar.

“Great! You brought them along? How many parties? How high are their levels?”

“Hey, come on in, guys!” Rye said, poking his head outside.

Two adventurers walked in. Despite Balthazar’s usual difficulty with remembering human faces, he immediately recognized them as a pair he had met plenty of times by now—Jack and Leah.

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The young man looked ridiculous as ever, wearing nothing but a loincloth and that same old horned helmet with a big dent on the forehead that had gotten stuck on his head the day of the dragon attack. As always, his greatsword came strapped behind him, seemingly even heavier than before, judging by the way his back was curved.

His friend Leah looked rather normal standing next to him, except for the oversized hiking bag on her back, which likely carried the inventories of both of them, as per usual. The merchant did, however, notice she had gotten some upgrades in the gear department, unlike her adventure partner. The young woman continued to wear a mix of light armor with heavier metal parts in strategic places, but Balthazar could tell they were of much finer quality now. Her cuirass was made of tough boiled leather, and he could spot a layer of chainmail under it as well as steel plates covering her shins and thighs. On her waist she carried a sharp steel axe, and on the side of her bag a wooden recurve bow, both weapons clearly better than the items she had last time they had met.

The crab looked at them through his monocle in order to check their levels.

[Swordsman - Level 31]

[Fighter - Level 30]

“Those two are the best you could get, Rye?” the merchant asked flatly.

“Well, hello to you too, crab!” exclaimed Jack, placing his hands on his waist.

“You realize we’re right here and can hear you, right?” Leah said, one eyebrow cocked at the crab.

“Now, come on, Balthazar,” Rye said, forcing a smile and lifting his hands in appeasement. “There are not a lot of adventurers above level 30 that stick around these parts, and Jack and Leah have proven to be brave and honorable adventurers before, when Bea—when the red dragon attacked.”

Balthazar scoffed and curved his eyestalks into a frown.

“Brave, honorable, and also foolish. Look at them! He’s practically naked, and she looks like a pack mule on her way to the market!”

Jack let out a loud “Harrumph!” as his arms went from his sides to being crossed in front of his chest.

“I mean…” said Leah, tilting her head to her partner. “He’s out of line, but he’s right.”

Rye took a couple of steps closer to the crab and whispered, “C’mon, everyone else is either too low level, too reluctant to go into that dungeon, or straight up a glue-eater. It’s either them or nothing.”

Balthazar let out a long, drawn-out sigh.

“Fine. I guess at least they’re the right level for this dungeon.”

The crab sidestepped the archer and motioned for the other two adventurers to follow him.

“Alright, come on in, guys. Let’s fill you in on the plan. And wipe your boots, will you? Druma just swept the floor.”

***

A little over an hour later, Balthazar was finishing stuffing his Backpack of Holding Stuff & Things with what he considered the essentials while Rye finished discussing things with the other two adventurers.

“Don’t worry, it isn’t our first time handling a few mindless skeletons,” Jack said, puffing out his chest.

“Let’s not get overconfident,” said Rye. “Remember that these are not our average low-level skeletons, and that the environment inside will be against us too.”

“Hey,” Leah said, stepping away from the other two and addressing Balthazar. “How come you can store so many things in that bag?”

“Magical backpack,” the crab stated placidly as he shoved his tenth stack of torches into it.

The young woman’s eyebrows rose upon hearing his answer. “I sure wouldn’t mind having a bag like that. You wouldn’t happen to have a spare one for sale, would you?”

“Nope,” Balthazar said without taking his gaze off the crate of Potions of Hydration he was storing into his backpack.

“Uhm, are you sure you really need to take those into the dungeon?” Rye asked.

“Of course,” the crab replied. “You may be adventurers, but I’m still a merchant, and I must always be prepared in case I encounter a potential client.”

“Oh, come on, really?” Jack exclaimed as he saw the next item the crustacean dropped into his bag. “What use could we possibly have for a wooden spork while exploring a dungeon?!”

Balthazar shook his shell as he dutifully continued packing things. “You never know. Better safe than sorry.”

Rye stepped closer to the counter. “I get you want to be prepared for everything, but we really should get going.”

“Fine, fine,” the crab said, closing his backpack. “I’m done.”

“Oh, hey,” said Jack. “If we’re going to explore the dungeon as a team, you should properly join our party so we can better work together.”

Rye gave the merchant a worried glance from the corner of his eye.

“That’s a problem I didn’t consider,” the archer muttered under his breath, turning his back to the others. “How are you going to explain that a local crab already formed a system party?”

Balthazar grimaced. More awkward questions he didn’t need right now.

“No, thanks,” he said to Jack. “My companions and I are strong and independent creatures who don’t need no humans. We stay unpartied.”

The swordsman gave his fighter friend a glance and then they both shrugged. “Alright, whatever you say.”

Phew, glad that worked. Don’t need them asking me how a crab somehow reached level 29.

Henrietta came from the back and hopped onto the counter with one swift jump, landing next to the crab’s backpack.

“Well, off we go,” Balthazar said, turning his eyestalks to her. “Take good care of the bazaar while we’re in there, alright, Henrietta?”

“You know I will,” the toad replied. “Now y’all be careful in there, alright dearies?”

The four of them stepped outside through the back, where Druma, Bouldy, and Blue were already waiting.

“Are you guys ready to go too?” Balthazar asked his companions.

Druma tightened his cape around his neck, adjusted the wizard hat on his head, and gave a firm nod. “We’s ready to go, boss!”

In a line, the seven peculiar figures made their way around the pond and to the large gaping hole on the side of the Semla Volcano.

“Well, this is it,” Rye said, stopping in front of the tunnel and staring into its darkness. “I hope no one’s getting cold feet about this.”

Balthazar gave Jack a side glance and cocked an eyestalk.

“What?” the nearly-naked adventurer said. “Oh, I get it. Because I’m barefoot. Ha-ha, very funny. Let’s just go in already! I want to find out what loot awaits us!”

“And hopefully nobody loses their feet again either,” the crab muttered.

“What’s that?” said Jack.

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

With Balthazar at the front, the group headed into the tunnel, daylight quickly disappearing behind them as pitch-black darkness enveloped the orange halos of their torches.

“We should be close,” the crab said. “The first hall should start around here some—”

His words were suddenly cut off by the surprise of a system message popping into his vision.

[Welcome back, Dungeon Manager]

[Run dungeon status report?]

[Yes | No]

The hell is this?!