MATED TO THE SECRET ALPHA
Chapter 200: Confession And Pleasure

Chapter 200: Confession And Pleasure

Her moans turned to whimpers, her body quaking around him, every emotion tangled in the knot of their bodies. "I love you, you bastard," she breathed against his mouth. "I hate that I do. I hate that I still want you like this... even if you become a monster."

And then, she kissed him like she was sealing a vow, like she needed him just as badly as he needed her. Their movements grew wild—no rhythm, no grace—just raw need and desperate love. Two broken souls trying to meet somewhere between fury and forgiveness.

Her climax hit her hard, and she cried out his name like a confession, like a curse.

And when he came, clutching her to him like he’d die if he let go, she heard it—the words whispered into her neck, trembling:

"You’re my everything, Reana. Please... can you accept me like that?" His voice trembled. "You’re the reason I’m still breathing. The reason there’s even a shred of decency left in me. And that decency... it’s all I’ve ever shown you. All I can show you."

He swallowed hard.

"I don’t know how to be any kinder than I’m trying to be. With every lifetime, my soul grows darker..." His voice trailed off as his mind drifted back to the curse.

Then, gently, Reana kissed him, pulling his mind back to her.

"Talk to me," she whispered.

The carriage had slowed, but they hadn’t noticed. Snow whispered against the windows, muffling the world beyond. Inside, the air was thick with heat, confession, and sex, the scent of them clinging to their cloaks and sweaty skin.

Ryder’s hands trembled as he pulled away just enough to look into her eyes. The kiss had steadied his breath, but the storm inside him raged on.

"There’s something I didn’t want you to know," he murmured, voice low and raw. "Something I’ve kept buried for lifetimes, hoping foolishly that this time would be different."

Reana blinked, confused but silent, urging him with her gaze but her fingers didn’t stop memorizing his body.

"I was cursed," he said. "By the bitch herself. In our first lifetime, I defied her. I loved you and she loved me. And for that, she killed you, and I destroyed everything that mattered to her," he said, his voice like a blade dulled by sorrow. "Her devotees, her temples... I burned it all down with my bare hands. And still, it wasn’t enough."

He looked at her then—really looked at her, as if afraid she’d vanish like smoke. "She cursed me to remember. To live a thousand lives with your death etched into every one, but I defiled her again. I made a deal with an unknown god, who promised to give you back to me. I don’t know what he did, but the bitch brought you back, but not without playing dirty games."

He breathed, "She condemned me to lose you... again and again."

He drew a shaky breath, and his voice turned hollow as he recited the curse to her—every word etched into his soul like a brand.

"Your transgressions have sealed your fate. The one you covet, the one who haunts your every waking moment, shall forever remain an unattainable dream.

With each rebirth, the weight of your memories will crush you, a relentless torment that echoes through eternity.

You will relive the agony of your longing, only to be met with the same crushing defeat, forever bound to the cycle of your own private hell.

You dare to mock the fate that has been laid upon you? Very well, mortal. May your hunger consume you, may your obsession drive you to madness.

But know this: with each rebirth, your soul will grow darker, your heart heavier.

And when you finally lay eyes on the one you seek, you will realize that your love has become a poison, a corrupting influence that will destroy everything you hold dear..."

His voice cracked at the last line, and he looked away, jaw clenched, leaving the carriage thick with a stillness that felt almost sacred. The kind of quiet that follows the truth when it’s been buried for too long.

Reana stared at him, unmoving. Her lips parted slightly, but no words came.

He mistook her silence for rejection and without looking at her, continued:

"I thought maybe... just maybe, this time I could break it. That if I stayed close, if I buried the truth, I could defile her. That I could win." He clenched his fist tightly.

"But every time I see you in pain because of me... When you said my love was suffocating..." His throat tightened. "I feel the curse clenching tighter around my soul."

He turned back to her, eyes filled with a torment centuries old. "It seems that all I know how to do is hurt you." A bitter smile ghosted across his lips. "I don’t know how to save you from me, Reana. Or if it’s even possible anymore."

He watched her, and she said nothing for a long time. ’She probably didn’t believe him.’ Ryder thought.

She never does.

Not in their lifetimes. Not after the goddess tampered with their bond—twisting it until it felt to Reana like he’d broken their bond and laid with another woman.

Reana had believed the illusion. Nothing he said mattered to her. She blamed him, rejected him, and left the city. And Ryder spent years looking for her in the whole kingdom...

"She’s cruel," she whispered suddenly.

Ryder froze.

Did she believe him?

Her hand lifted, hesitant, then reached for him—fingertips brushing softly against his cheek. "She wronged you, my love," she murmured, tracing the contours of his face with trembling fingers. "She hurt you out of jealousy..."

"Us," he corrected softly, pressing her hand gently to his skin. "She hurt us out of jealousy."

She blinked, but didn’t argue.

"But why?" she rasped, disbelief roughening her voice. "She’s a goddess. They’re not like us... they don’t feel like we do. So why would she love what she created like that?"