King of All I Survey
Chapter 147: All the World’s a Stage in the Theater of the Absurd

Chapter 147: All the World’s a Stage in the Theater of the Absurd

Joe and I walked to a small café, we both ordered a hot chocolate and sat down at an outdoor table. If you are North American, European, or Asian, it wasn’t what you think of when you think of hot chocolate. The locals called it Xocolatl. It wasn’t the sweetened hot chocolate that you might put marshmallows in. It was pure powdered cacao beans and a bit of hot chili powder mixed with hot water. A rich, what earthy sort of flavor, with a hint of bitter and the heat of the chili. For me, it had been an acquired taste, but I had grown to like it very much. I marveled at the thought that this exact drink, prepared exactly like this, being served and enjoyed in this region for more than a thousand years, maybe much, much longer.

Joe, sipped his, then sighed. "Mmm, that’s good," he said smiling with a little twinkle in his eye.

"Tell me, Joe, since you know everything all at once, even the absolute position of every photon and quark, how can you enjoy a hot chocolate? I mean, I know the android bodies have taste buds and experience taste, even extra molecular sensors that tell us the medicinal or toxic nature of the things we ingest. But you already know exactly what it tastes like, down to every molecule that hits a taste bud or whatever. Isn’t it like watching a rerun of an old TV show over and over again? Nothing unexpected, nothing seems as funny as the first time you watched, nothing surprises you."

Joe actually laughed, which surprised me. "Where to begin," he began, "First, you, King Tim, surprise me every day. As your Earth physics once believe about sub-atomic particles, life cannot be predicted until it is observed. Even if I were never surprised, if I knew everything in advance as if watching a tv show for the twelve time, I would still revel in the experience. Do you know what bubble gum taste like, Tim?"

"Sure, it’s great!"

"Exactly. You know what bubble gum is going to taste like, yet you enjoy it anew every time you have some. You get excited about the prospect of it as you unwrap it. You savor that first taste as it hits your tongue, the texture as you begin to chew, and so on. Even though you already know what’s it’s going to taste like. Right?"

"Sure, but I’d say even thought that feels like I’m enjoying it, it’s just a chemical reaction in my brain that results from the conditioning caused by the stimulation of pleasure centers in my brain. Since you operate with the entire universe as the basis of your brain, you don’t exactly have that kind of basic biological response to external stimuli. In fact, you don’t have external stimuli at all."

"OK, first, does knowing that activation of the ’sweet’ taste buds is a physio-chemical response causing a complex interaction and chain of events that eventually stimulates the pleasure center of your brain causing, in turn, the release of various neurotransmitters, which result in making you feel good or be happy, does knowing all that make you less happy?"

"Well, in a metaphysical self-reflective way, maybe it does, because it makes me feels like my thoughts and my free-will are illusions... but, to your basic point, no, I don’t enjoy bubble any less because of all that."

Joe frowned just a little at the first part of my response. "Regarding free will, I can tell you that I know every molecular and electrical interaction that’s going to happen in your brain at any given moment, yet I can’t entirely predict what you’re going to do or say next. As I alluded earlier, life is probabilistic. Perhaps I should say, your ’free will’ is probabilistic. It might be more or less likely that you will undertake a certain action or a certain thought or response will be triggered in you, but I can’t really determine how the outcome will land until it interacts with... what you call ’time’ and the true result is revealed. In a way that I simply can’t explain, the space or moment where probability and time interact is where the thing you call ’free will’ resides... or originates."

"I’d say that was comforting if thinking about it didn’t make my head hurt just a little..."

Joe smirked, "That’s only to be expected when you try to take thoughts as large as mine and stuff them into a squishy little ball of grey matter. Maybe, if we get back to something more your speed... Yes, I enjoy the taste of chocolate every single time, even though I know exactly how it’ll taste and even why it’ll taste that way. I enjoy almost everything, as a matter of fact. Do you know how many times I have watched hydrogen atoms become helium in the core of a star? How many times, in fact, I’m watching it right now at this very nanosecond. You truly cannot comprehend the number. Yet, I enjoy watching each one. There’s a fundamental beauty about the interaction that pleases me. Think of it like this, do you think your mother ever gets tired of seeing a beautiful sunset? Or even more apt, does she ever get tired of seeing her little boy smile with joy?"

"I hope not," I said aghast at the thought that she might tire of me...

"I can tell you unequivocally that she doesn’t," Joe reassured me, sensing my momentary distress. "Every moment is full of beauty and wonder, King Tim. There’s no problem in pondering how that beauty and wonder is created or why we perceive it as such, but that should never get in the way of the experience itself. Think of it as an emergent property of the moment." He smiled again as if pleased by the words or perhaps his own cleverness at stringing them together that way. I struck me as a very human sort of thing.

I took another sip of my hot chocolate. It was good, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. The warmth of the afternoon sun on my skin felt good. I suddenly realized the grand irony of my situation. Right now, quite literally, I was sitting here in a little outdoor cafe, enjoying the warm tropical sunshine, sipping a delicious cup an old concoction of tropical plants which had mystical significance to humans for thousands of years, discussing the nature of free will and happiness with the actual, freaking universe itself. I felt a rush of contentment, wonder, and then laughter filling me as the thought continued. It was all because I had wanted to trick a visiting extraterrestrial being, the first to ever visit Earth, into helping me finish my backyard treehouse, and ended up King of the World, no the Supreme Ruler of the Entire Earth Solar System and Nearby Space. Furthermore, I was embarking upon a mission to effectively conquer not just the whole world, but the entire galaxy, and probably even the entire universe. Suddenly, everything seemed so utterly ridiculous and random that I couldn’t stop the laughter from escaping. I laughed out loud, uproariously, uncontrollably. Nothing makes sense, it’s all crazy random chance encounters, a comedy of errors, a grand farce. I couldn’t stop laughing.

Joe looked at me with a growing concern. That was funny, too. He didn’t understand! He had to understand, though. He knows everything! I laughed as it all got funnier and more ridiculous. People were looking at me. Staring at me. I should try to stop laughing, but that was funny, too. Nothing mattered at all if everything was pure random chance.

Joe looked at me intensely. Then I felt his presence inside my head, inside my thoughts. You’re experiencing a manic episode. I can intervene to quell it with your permission. It will likely pass in time without intervention. I heard him in my head.

I knew this uncontrolled laughter wasn’t a normal response to the situation, that was funny, too. I should stop, but that was funny. Yes, whatever you think is best, Mr. Universe. That was so funny... Then everything seemed less funny, the awareness and implications of where I was and my behavior grew and my laughter slowed, then stopped. I looked around and saw people were still staring, they looked away suddenly when they saw me looking at them. They think I’m crazy, I thought to myself. Maybe I am.

I could still see how I had thought everything was utterly meaningless, I remembered the thoughts, but the grand humor I had found in the absolute futility of the human condition, of the pointlessness of anyone thinking that anything they ever did, anything they could ever do, actually mattered at all, seemed to have paled. I looked at Joe for some help in understanding what just happened. He shrugged and sipped his Xocolatl. "It happens," he said. "You just got a little overwhelmed by the scale of things, the pace of events, compounded by your fear that you are taking too big a part in controlling the lives of others, that you aren’t important enough to have that control, it’s a lot for anyone, really. I should have anticipated some issues. We should set up some time to talk about it on a regular basis."

"Joe, I... isn’t talking about it what just caused it?"

"No, our discussion may have triggered your psyche to try to release of some of the pressure you’ve been feeling, but it wasn’t the cause. You’ve taken a lot on your shoulders, King Tim. That can be difficult to deal with, especially if you don’t have much experience dealing with pressure and conflicting emotions. It’s normal to ’lose it’ at the thought of it all once in a while. I think talking about your feelings about what you feel are your responsibilities and the pressures that entails would be helpful for you. We can work on strategies to help relieve some of the mental strain that you’re bottling up inside," Joe said casually. He was the very model of calm as he spoke and sipped his drink in the afternoon sun.

A woman dressed in a brightly colored, hand-woven dress in the traditional style approached our table. "Is everything ok, here?" She asked hesitantly.

I gave her an apologetic look, "Yes, everything’s fine. I’m sorry for disturbing you, my friend just told me a very funny joke."

She looked at Joe with a puzzled look, "he doesn’t look that funny..." she said.

I almost laughed out loud at that, but I held it back. "Every once it a while, he comes up with a good one," I said. "I’m sorry, I won’t disturb you again."

She nodded, still skeptical, but went back to her work inside the café.