Kill to evolve: A system that demands blood
Chapter 48: Not guilt nor anger

Chapter 48: Not guilt nor anger

Chapter 48

Karla didn’t wake up during the entire transport.

She lay motionless on the stretcher, the medics barking numbers and pushing tubes into her arms. Ronan walked beside them like a silent shadow, his hands still stained with her blood. He hadn’t said a word since they left the lab, and no one had dared speak to him.

The moment they reached the Med Wing, he was stopped by a wall of security personnel.

"That’s far enough," one of them said, firm but not unkind.

Ronan didn’t resist. He just stood there, watching as they wheeled her through the double doors and out of sight.

He exhaled quietly, leaning against the wall. He didn’t even know what to feel at the moment, who to vent at, or what to fucking say.

"Ronan." He heard a familiar voice call. He turned to find Jordan standing there, looking nothing different from the last time the spoke. Ronan remained leaning against the wall, clearly not interested in speaking to anyone at the moment because of how messed up his mind felt.

"Hey." He just replied quietly before turning to face front and close his eyes.

Jordan’s brow furrowed for a moment, then he smirked in amusement, "already giving me the cold shoulder huh? I was once you captain you brat."

Ronan let out a tired breath, eyes still shut. "Yeah. I’m sorry but I’m really not in the mood."

Jordan stepped in closer. The usual smirk he wore faded, replaced with something more grounded. "I heard what happened. How bad?"

Ronan’s jaw tensed, his lips pressed in a tight line. "Bad enough."

The silence that followed was heavy. Jordan’s gaze dropped to Ronan’s bloodstained hands, shaky, stained with dried red around the knuckles. His fingers trembled slightly, and his eyes didn’t really seem to be looking at anything in front of him. They were blank and almost emotionless.

Jordan crossed his arms. "I came the moment I hear about what happened. Didn’t expect you to end up in this kinda mess."

"Didn’t expect it to be this messy either," Ronan muttered without looking up.

"You wanna talk about it?"

Ronan shook his head slowly, his voice dull. "You wouldn’t understand."

"Try me."

Ronan finally opened his eyes. They looked hollow. "I didn’t lose control. That’s the part that messes with me."

Jordan frowned slightly. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I wasn’t blacked out. I didn’t go berserk. I was there for all of it. I remember everything. Every move. Every sound. I made choices in that room. I knew exactly what I was doing." He stared down at his hands. "And the worst part? A part of me didn’t want to stop. It felt... right."

Jordan was quiet for a beat before answering. "This wasn’t your fault. This is just you carrying the damage, guilt and anger. I know you’ll never intentionally hurt the people you care about."

"Don’t say it like you know everything about me. We’ve only know each other for a while," Ronan said, stepping away from the wall, his tone firmer. "I’m not saying this out of guilt or anger. I know this was caused by the system. I felt it pushing me. Feeding on everything that was happening. But do you know the damn thing that disgusts me? The fear in that room, it made me stronger. The more scared they were, the more power I had. I could feel it pouring into me like fuel, and I fucking loved every moment, and not because of the system...that’s what scares the shit out of me."

Jordan’s expression tightened. "It felt like a rush right? Like you didn’t want it to end."

Ronan froze.

Jordan gave a faint, bitter smile. "Addicted. Yeah. I’ve seen it before."

Ronan turned to him, surprised. "You?"

"Not me," Jordan said, shaking his head. "But someone I cared about. Their system didn’t work like yours does, but the effect? Almost identical. First it boosts you when you’re hurt. Then it teaches you that pain equals strength. You stop hesitating. You stop caring. Eventually, all that’s left is power, and someone who doesn’t recognize themselves anymore."

Ronan didn’t respond. His mind pounded with dozen thoughts. Like what exactly was he becoming?

Jordan placed a steady hand on Ronan’s shoulder. "But you’re still here. You still feel something, you’re not gone yet."

Ronan lifted his gaze, his eyes dim. "And what if I cross that line?"

Jordan didn’t flinch. "Then I’ll stop you."

There was no anger in his voice, no drama. Just certainty, like a line that had already been drawn in his mind.

Ronan gave a slow nod. Just once. "Thanks."

Footsteps approached. A nurse stopped at the doorway, giving both men a quick look. "Sir, Are you the one that came with the patient?" Ronan nodded.

"Okay, she’s stable now. But she hasn’t regained consciousness yet. The healing ability she activated took a toll on her. Her body went into a kind of induced coma to recover. We’re monitoring her, but... right now it’s just a waiting game."

Ronan closed his eyes again. This time, it lingered. His jaw tightened.

"Can I see her?"

The nurse hesitated, then nodded. "A few minutes. One at a time."

Jordan gave Ronan a small nudge. "Go ahead. I’ll be right here when you’re done."

Ronan stepped through the doorway, into the room that smelled like antiseptic. His steps slowed when he saw her.

Karla looked small in the hospital bed. Fragile in a way she never looked before. Tubes, wires, and quiet beeps replaced her usual fire and stubbornness. Her skin was pale. Her breathing shallow but steady.

Ronan pulled a chair up beside her and sat down. He didn’t speak. There was nothing to say that wouldn’t sound meaningless.

He didn’t ask for forgiveness.

He didn’t explain himself.

He just sat there.

In silence.

Listening to the machines that were doing the work her body couldn’t do right now.

Outside the room, Jordan stepped away and pulled a secure device from his jacket. He tapped the encrypted line and waited for the connection to establish.

"This is Captain Jordan of squad 5," he said quietly. "I’ve made contact with Subject Ronan."

A beat passed.

Then his voice dropped lower.

"Situation’s worse than we thought. If this keeps progressing... we’ll need a contingency plan. In case he can’t be contained."