It's Just A Picture (BL)
Chapter 246: I had good intentions, trust me

Chapter 246: I had good intentions, trust me

"UGH! The nerve of that bastard!" Minwoo flared once more, almost flipping the table over. "Tell me you told him straight to get lost."

Dongwoo bowed his head. He wished he could at the time but he didn’t really have that sort of heart. And... He wanted to hear his explanation too.

He didn’t want to believe that the person who had been treating him so well all along would do something so awful to him.

"Ahem!" Minwoo cleared his throat and sat down. "So, what happened next?"

Shinwoo looked into Dongwoo’s eyes like he had not done anything wrong and asked,

"Did they let you go unjustly?"

Dongwoo pursed his lips, unable to understand what was going on.

"Shinwoo, did you... Come to my workplace and say those things to my boss?" He asked but Shinwoo played oblivious and asked,

"What things?"

’Ugh. Am I making a mistake?’ Dongwoo thought and glanced at where his college had been standing but she wasn’t there.

She had gone in.

"Dongwoo," Shinwoo called. "Shall we get going? You can ask me whatever you want while we walk."

They started walking along the roadside but Dongwoo did not bring up the issue.

They got to the front of his house and Shinwoo asked,

"Do you want to go on a date instead? Let’s have dinner and clear whatever air that’s getting in between us."

"Whatever... Air."

Dongwoo looked up at him. He was smiling.

"Shinwoo," he called. "...did you go to my part-time workplaces and reveal the fact that I’m gay to my bosses?"

"Hm, now that you mention it," he raised his head, pretending to think, and then smiled at him. "I did go to thank them for accommodating you."

"Why would you do that?"

"What’s wrong?" He asked. "I only went to say thank you to them. You know," he dropped his hand on Dongwoo’s shoulder. "...since they took such good care of you that you didn’t want to leave them."

His smile started looking dangerous. Dark, rather.

The look in his eyes wasn’t pure, and Dongwoo could tell he had hidden intentions when he did that, but... He could not tell what these intentions were.

For all he knew, he might’ve just been overseeing his good intentions with those of his past lovers.

He didn’t want his judgment of the past to see a good person in the wrong light.

"I had good intentions, trust me." Shinwoo said, taking his hand off his shoulder. "And seeing how they immediately let you go, I’m kinda glad I did what I did. I don’t want you working where there are people with toxic mindsets." He dropped his hand on Dongwoo’s head and brushed it softly. "I believe this is for the best."

Dongwoo listened to his words.

Yes, they were homophobic from the start, but it was even more dangerous for him to be working there.

Shinwoo... Saved him this time.

"Thank... Thank you." Dongwoo said.

"Of course. I would do anything for you." He smiled but in his thoughts, he locked Dongwoo’s simplicity. ’He’s just too easy. I’m going to have fun breaking him.’

"But..." Dongwoo suddenly spoke up.

"Huh?"

"Could you please not do that again?" He requested. "I understand that you’re looking out for me but... I think it would be best if they knew nothing about me than know what I am and still let me stay. I don’t want to be accepted or denied. I just want to stay in one place. So please," he looked firmly into Shinwoo’s eyes. "...don’t do it."

Shinwoo stared at him, a bit annoyed but did not show it. To think he would still have such a strong will.

What? He didn’t want to be accepted or denied? Who gave him the right to choose? In any case, he was becoming stubborn.

Maybe this wasn’t enough to make him meek and dependent. He would have to try something else.

Shinwoo smiled at him and nodded.

"Yes, yes." He said. "I promise not to do it again. Now, shall we go have dinner?"

Shinwoo did not act after that but Dongwoo noticed he was becoming a bit too demanding, trying to control him in subtle ways.

He hoped he was just imagining it but his actions got even more bold.

There was a day when they were to go out and go to a five-star restaurant together. Dongwoo wore one of his simple and regular outfits, but Shinwoo took one good look at him and was far from happy.

He didn’t even try to hide the fact that he was upset at what he wore.

He actually showed the dissatisfaction he felt and said,

"Can’t you wear anything more decent for once?"

A shocked Dongwoo parted his lips slowly and asked,

"Excuse me?"

"Ah," Shinwoo exclaimed, noticing he had let his thoughts out through his lips. ’I let it slip.’

But since it was already out, he decided to use the opportunity and get Dongwoo to realize just how bad his dressing sense was and how distasteful it was to the eye.

"I know you don’t care about other people’s feelings but think of mine." He said, dropping his hands on Dongwoo’s shoulders. "You’re not that good looking and you dress so plainly all the time. Though it makes me look better, standing next to you, you’ll just end up ruining the scenery and disturbing people’s appetite."

Dongwoo’s heart felt so uncomfortable and uneasy at his words.

"Do I... Do I really look that bad?"

"In the eyes of others, yes. But to me, you look good. I wouldn’t mind, no matter what you wore. Even if you wore nothing, too. But... Just think of how people would look at me. They’d think I purposely let you wear something like that just to make myself look good. Dongwoo, don’t let your weird taste make others stare at me badly, alright?"

Though Dongwoo’s heart was hurting at those words, it made him feel even more conscious of his appearance. He was that bad-looking.

He didn’t want to be the reason people would look at Shinwoo badly.

He decided to change into something ’decent’.

Dongwoo sat on the floor, hugging his knees and staring at his nearly empty closet.

He didn’t have much to wear and didn’t have anything new either.

’I know it’s the truth but... It’s very harsh.’ he thought, closing his eyes as tears slid down his cheeks.

He was pained by those words. It’d be a lie if he said he wasn’t.

The truth hurts, they say. Especially when it’s done by someone you care about.

He could’ve put it in a way that would make him feel less bothered and sad.

Now, all he could do was cry while Shinwoo waited outside his door for their date.

But even at that, he had no thoughts of changing who he was. His looks, his appearance... If he wasn’t fine with it then... That only meant they weren’t meant to be.

’To me, you look good in anything, even while being naked.’ he recalled Shinwoo’s words.

"Ah, is he dissatisfied that I haven’t even shown him my body? It’s been three months."

He interpreted Shinwoo’s words as that.

Maybe if he saw his body, he would feel better but... It’s not like his body was all that pleasing to the eyes either.

And that would look like he was trying to offer himself and cause a misunderstanding.

Dongwoo was tired.

This was one reason why he didn’t want to be in a relationship.

In a relationship, both parties have to contribute to each other’s happiness and relief.

He had nothing to offer. His face was no good. He was too scared to have sex and didn’t even have money to treat him to nice places or buy him gifts.

He was useless and Shinwoo was treating him so well. It made him feel guilty.

’Maybe I should just end it.’ he thought and heard Shinwoo knock on the door.

"Dongwoo, what’s taking so long?" Shinwoo asked. "We’re going to miss our reservation at this point."

Dongwoo listened to him and lowered his head.

He was currently naked. Well, half-naked.

He was wearing his briefs.

If he opened the door, Shinwoo would see his body.

And if he did that...

’Nothing to offer but my body.’ he thought, clenching his fists. ’Maybe... Just maybe.’

Different thoughts played in his head.

One side of him wanted to just let this relationship go and the other side wanted to keep it. He didn’t want to be lonely any longer, and so wanted to try again if he could offer his body, the only thing he could render in this relationship.

He walked towards the door, still swaying on both sides and placed his hand on the door.

"Shin... Shinwoo." Dongwoo called and gulped.

"Yeah?" Shinwoo responded.

"Can we... Can we stop here?" He asked and a confused Shinwoo furrowed his eyebrows.

"What? You want me to cancel our reservation at the restaurant?" He asked but Dongwoo shook his head, though Shinwoo could not see it. "Speak up, Dongwoo. Do you want me to cancel the date?"

His words made Dongwoo shudder in guilt.

"It’s not just the date." Dongwoo said and bit his lip. "Let’s just cancel this relationship as well. I think... This won’t work out the way either of us planned. So, instead of one of us hurting along the line, let’s just break it off now. I believe that’s the best, for both of us."

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