It's Just A Picture (BL)
Chapter 242: Were you thinking at all?

Chapter 242: Were you thinking at all?

Whereas the twins seemed to take out their anger with violence, hitting people, and breaking stuff, Dongwoo had his own way of expressing it. Besides crying, that is. Haha.

Self-harm seemed to be the way Dongwoo coped with his feelings since he could never really express them. If he was traumatized and scared, it was self-harm. If he was angry, it was self-harm. If he was disappointed, the same thing. Self-harm!

It was a miracle he didn’t have permanent scars all over his body.

And there was a huge problem with his type of self-harm as he wasn’t always doing them consciously. In fact, he never did them consciously.

It happened without his knowledge and while he was in a trance-like state, unable to keep track of what was going on around him or what his body was doing.

That was his issue.

Everyone was a bit alarmed, wondering how Dongwoo had come to hurt himself with his own camera and bleed so much.

"Hyung," Seojin called, approaching but Dongwoo raised his bloody hand, making him halt and said,

"Stay there. I... I’ll take care of it myself. Just... Get your makeup retouched or something. I’ll be back soon." He said this and didn’t even make eye contact with him.

He turned to Taiha at the side, bowed his head, and apologized.

"I’m sorry. I’ll just be a minute." He said and started heading to his office.

Minwoo followed after him and his assistants did as well.

Seojin stared at the empty space where Dongwoo had been standing and then the blood on the floor.

Why did this happen?

He clenched his fists and even bit his lips, his face contorting as he couldn’t hold back any longer but Seojun helped by placing his hand on his shoulder and said,

"Keep it calm. Don’t make Hyung more upset than he already is."

Seojin glanced at his brother.

Why did it seem like they always took turns getting Dongwoo upset?

"She’s up to no good." Seojun added and Seojin glanced at Song Haijin sitting like a queen at the corner and enjoying the spectacle while she relaxed.

"I didn’t know Hyung was watching. I should’ve pushed her away when I had the chance."

"And since when were you the impulsive one?" Seojun asked and Seojin sighed.

Their roles had been switched this time. He was the one getting Dongwoo mad and he was the one having trouble containing his anger.

If he made one wrong move now, he would risk a lot of things.

"You’re right." He said, finally calming down. "She’s up to something. But I won’t let her. She already crossed the line with this. It’s an eye for an eye."

Seojun stared at Seojin who was smiling already.

He could say he was the violent and dangerous one among them but Seojin was even more dangerous as he was sneaky, cunning, and conniving. He got violent, yes but he wasn’t reckless like Seojun.

He would make appropriate preparations and plans carefully and then make sure to hit where it hurt the most, and you wouldn’t even know it was coming.

No one would.

That phrase, ’an eye for an eye’, was Seojin’s way of saying, that no matter what happened, no matter how far he had to go, he would make sure to return as much as was done to him. And even more too.

Song Haijin... She had to watch out if she didn’t want to fade away.

She had already pulled one string. Any more strings and that was it. She could kiss her career goodbye.

Minwoo helped Dongwoo bandage his hand.

"Were you thinking at all?" Minwoo asked and Dongwoo shook his head.

"No, no, I wasn’t." He said. "I wasn’t thinking."

Minwoo stared at Dongwoo pitifully and sighed.

"Did you let her get to you, Boss?" Jaeho asked and they both turned to him. "I told you not to let her get to you."

"That’s not what happened," Dongwoo said, but he wouldn’t explain what happened either.

"We’ll go out first." Eunwoo said and dragged Jaeho out with him.

Minwoo watched Dongwoo sigh and look aside.

He reached out to him and swiped his hair aside.

"What’s wrong?"

"I don’t know. I just... I just feel bad. I feel terrible and really really bad. I..." His lips quivered like he was about to cry and said, "I almost broke my camera."

"But it didn’t break." Minwoo said, patting his head. "Rather, you’re the one who got hurt. What were you thinking so deeply about that you hurt yourself?"

"I already said I wasn’t thinking." Dongwoo said. "If I was, I wouldn’t have hurt myself." He cleaned the nonexistent tears from the corners of his eyes, hoping they’d actually remain nonexistent for the time being.

"So, were you in a trance or something?" Minwoo asked and Dongwoo raised his head to look at him. "Come on, you can talk to me."

"Dongwoo, I have an ’issue’." Dongwoo said and clutched his hands together. "I thought they were gone and I was sure because I’ve never experienced it in a long time. I have been happy over these past couple of days that I forgot how bad it gets when my issue arises and it scares me."

"What type of issue, Hyung?"

It took a moment for Dongwoo to bring himself to speak and he whispered,

"I self-harm. But not because I want to. I hurt myself without knowing when I get too anxious, scared, and angry. When my emotions spike up to a certain degree, I start digging my fingers into my skin and clutching hard on whatever is in my hands till I finally snap out of it. And when that happens, I notice I have already hurt myself, and I... I don’t know how to stop it."

Minwoo listened painfully and was shocked as well.

To think he was passing through the same thing he passed through in the past. Just what sort of trauma haunted him for him to have that issue?

And... how were they so alike even with this?

Self-harm was one of the worst issues a person could get. They could even kill themselves and not know when they were doing it.

"It’s been so long since I got this angry and I’ve been so anxious lately that it’s happening again." He said, feeling very worried and concerned for his own condition.

"Hyung, what’s been bothering you?" Minwoo asked. "Is it just Song Haijin’s appearance? Or... Is there something you’ve been trying to hide, even from the twins?"

Dongwoo flinched and he clenched his palms.

"It’s nothing." He said, trying to feign a smile. "I... I don’t have a problem with anyone else and I’m not really keeping anything."

"Hyung," Minwoo called but Dongwoo kept talking.

"Maybe I’ve just been too overworked and stressed."

"Hyung," Minwoo called once more, his eyes fixed on Dongwoo’s hands.

"I’ll probably feel better after taking a lot more rest and..."

"Hyung!" Minwoo called loudly, clutching his shoulders and Dongwoo flinched. "You’re doing it again. You’re hurting yourself." He looked down at Dongwoo’s hand.

Dongwoo also looked down at his hand, only to find them tightly clenched and his bandage had soaked up with his blood.

"Ah," he bit his lips worriedly and scared. "...what do I do, Dongwoo?"

"Hyung, tell me, what are you keeping in your heart?"

Dongwoo stared at him and finally decided to tell his secret out. After this one, there would be no more secrets hidden in his heart. At least if one person knew it, it was better than dying alone.

"You know that guy that goes around with Song Haijin."

Minwoo thought back and recalled a guy with glasses.

"Yes, what about him?"

"His name is Shinwoo. He... He used to be my boyfriend. And he..." Dongwoo let out a deep breath and continued. " "He tortured me... Mentally."

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