It's Just A Picture (BL)
Chapter 135: Did he already make a home in his Hyung’s heart?

Chapter 135: Did he already make a home in his Hyung’s heart?

Just after Seojin walked in and hugged Dongwoo, Seojun guy to the restroom. He was about to walk in when he heard Dongwoo’s loud, bitter, and painful cry, which was greatly amplified by the space of the restroom.

It echoed.

Dongwoo Hyung’s cries and pain echoed.

He clutched his chest, his heart couldn’t contain it, and as much as it hurt, he could not face it.

He could not stand the thought of walking in to find Dongwoo crying so bitterly and the kind of expression he would have. The kind that would probably break him completely.

Even when it was just his cries he was listening to, it hurt him to the bone and he didn’t know how to do it. He clenched his teeth and rested his back on the wall, lowering his head with a painful expression on his face.

He clenched his fists.

’Why? Just why are you hurting so much, Hyung? It... It hurts my heart too. Please, stop hurting. Please.’

The cries suddenly disappeared and all that was left was the bitter feeling that he left behind.

Seojun was relieved he nodded longer and heard his cries, but... He could not wash off the feeling of pain and suffering his Hyung was passing through, and there was nothing he could do other than stand there and listen with clenched fists and gritted teeth.

Like a coward, he was hiding, afraid of facing him when he was supposed to be a pillar.

Realizing that fact, it was like a knife being cut right through his soul and his heart.

He clutched his chest tighter.

He hated himself for being such a coward. Of all things, he had to be a coward when it came to love. How ironic.

’They say, only love can hurt like this. Because I love him so much, I cannot stop hurting. What do I do?’

He closed his eyes and a tear rolled down his right eye.

He walked into the restroom after hearing Seojin and Dongwoo exchange words.

He looked at him with a bitter and more saddened expression than the one Seojin had when he walked in like his heart was broken... Like he was guilty.

Seojun took Dongwoo into his arms and hugged him, but instead of burying Dongwoo’s head in his chest to comfort him, he crouched his back and dropped his head on Dongwoo’s shoulder, like he was the one in need of comfort.

"I’m sorry." He said.

"For what?" Dongwoo asked, unaware of his reason for apologizing but Seojun shook his head and tightened his arms around him.

"Everything."

He brushed his nose against Dongwoo and initiated a light kiss.

"Sorry, Hyung. Sorry." Seojun kept apologizing and pressed his head on his shoulder. "I’m so sorry."

Dongwoo didn’t know why exactly he was apologizing and it didn’t look like he was going to explain either, so he decided to comfort him.

He patted his back, stroking his hair and ruffling it in the process, and said,

"I don’t know what it is but I’m sure whatever you did, you didn’t do it with bad intentions. So, I forgive you." He said, and Seojun raised his head. He looked Dongwoo in the eye and said,

"You shouldn’t make it that simple, Hyung." He said. "So you shouldn’t forgive me that easily."

"But I want to forgive you," Dongwoo said. "I could never stay mad at you."

"But... I’m not a good person, Hyung. I told you before. How you see me is not how I am." He defended, but Dongwoo was seeing it all differently and in a good light, too.

"And if I say I don’t care?" He asked, in a soft voice. "Let me ask you something. Did you decieve me when you said you loved me?"

"Never!" Seojun answered right away, leading to the next question.

"Then, did you go behind my back to talk bad about me?"

"I would never do such a thing." Dongwoo nodded and proceeded to ask the next question.

"Then, were you pretending when you kissed me passionately and showered me with affection and care? Were those all fake?"

"No. They weren’t. They were all real, every single one of them."

Dongwoo nodded and smiled softly.

"If that is the case, I can not think of anything you would do that is unforgivable. To me, you’re just enough, good or bad. I’ll accept you with all of your personalities and flaws."

Seojun pursed his lips. Just what did he do to deserve this?

He hoped never to admit with his own mouth that he was not a good person and hoped that once such a day came, Dongwoo would question him about all the bad things he did that made him ’not a good person’.

But he wasn’t fazed by the idea, not to talk or ask what his bad deeds were. He just asked some questions

Did he already make a home in his Hyung’s heart?

He bit his lips, his eyebrows furrowing emotionally.

A coward in love like him... He didn’t deserve it.

He could do anything for Dongwoo Hyung. Do all he could do he could be happy and never lack but... He could never face him once he was so bitter in tears.

If such a thing happened again, if Dongwoo Hyung was forced to tears to that extent, he would run away again. So he shouldn’t forgive him. Not for this sin, at least.

"Then maybe," Dongwoo reached his hand out to touch Seojun’s cheeks and gently caressed it with his thumb. "...if you tell me what you did, I’ll tell you one of the reasons I felt so sad." He said, and Seojin’s eyes widened.

He sharply turned to Seojun, giving the ’Spill it already’ look. He badly wanted to know what caused his Hyung to cry so much.

Seojun also wanted to know, but the reason he was apologizing... He hoped he’d never get to say it.

"So, what do you say?"

Seojun nodded and looked aside as he spoke out his deepest fear.

"Hyung, I’m a coward."