Infinite Farmer: A Plants vs Dungeon
Chapter 182: How Water Works

“You stored the tree. That was smart.” Brist sat up, spit out some sand, and shook his head. He had only been out a few moments, a testament to the high vitality stat he had maintained in almost all of his lives. “Good move. Reminds me of the wagon.”

“That’s what made me think of it. All I needed was a second,” Tulland said.

“Worked just fine. I’m guessing you won’t be here much longer now. Five parts of this total, right?”

“Yeah. I’ll be whisked away soon.” Tulland dropped to the ground across from Brist and tossed him some fruit. “It was very good to see you, though. I think I needed this.”

“Agreed.” Brist took a bite of the fruit. “I like these. Sour, but just enough. So, Tulland. I was going to ask you something.”

“What?”

“You know how you always talked about that guy? Your father’s brother, I think. The man who raised you.”

“My uncle, yes.” Tulland nodded. “I was lucky to have him.”

“About that.” Brist grinned awkwardly and scratched his head. “Would you feel lucky to have two?”

Tulland’s eyes blinked fast, but not so fast he was ever sure Brist hadn’t seen them get suddenly damp with tears.

“Sure, Brist. I’d like that.”

“See?” Brist tossed the remainder of his fruit back at Tulland. It slapped on his chest and fell to the ground. “I told you this week would be worth something. I’m always right, aren’t I?”

Just like that, Tulland was back in the white room.

—

“The same incarnation?” Tulland tilted his head at the man with the pile of paper. “I thought you’d mix it up.”

The Infinite tilted his head. “No, just me. It’s my show, more or less. How’d you like the first chapter?”

“It was… good. And confusing.”

“Confusing how?”

“I’m probably a much better fighter now. But I’m better in ways that mostly work on humans. I’ll be better at fighting beasts, sure, but not as much. It’s hard to see how that’s going to help me against an enemy I can’t reach with weapons.”

“You never know. Maybe one day you will. Brist has taught thousands of students, or tried to. Only a handful of them ever learned anything only he could teach. Do you know why?”

“He kills them?”

“Less than you’d think. No, it’s something different.” The man made a few quick notes on his paper. Tulland waited him out. “The people who learn the most from Brist are the people who manage to hit him. It’s never what he teaches them that lets them do that. Brist himself couldn’t hit Brist. But he pushes people to think a different way, whether he means to or not. Incredible man.”

“Ah. Thinking. There are some who say that’s not my strong suit.”

“Yes. I’ve heard Necia say that. Several times. She’s quite the girl, if you don’t mind me saying so.”

“It’s fine. Seems to be a universal opinion among Systems. So, what’s next? There’s four more of these things, right?”

“Yes. But none of them are really anything that would do you good to know about in advance. Just enjoy your notifications. You’ll be moving on soon enough.”

The Infinite was gone then, having not provided so much as a single snack.

Stage Completed! (Trial of Might) You have fought your way through an impossibly strong version of perhaps the most technically refined fighter the universe has ever known. While there have been many fighters who could have defeated some form of Brist or another through different means than raw technique, very few could stand up to him in the form you faced. Having defeated Brist, you are sure to have gained a wealth of knowledge about fighting that places you among the elites of the universe, if nowhere near his level in pure combat wisdom. Brist himself has gained a substantial benefit from the experience as well. In future lives, he will have less difficulty maintaining family and friendships than he has in the past, correcting one of the few flaws in his otherwise stellar soul.

“Good on you, Uncle Brist,” Tulland said. “I’m glad for you.”

The white room lasted that long, but no longer. In a blink, Tulland found himself in a different place altogether.

—

“There are a lot of books here,” Tulland said to nobody in particular. He had been wandering a massive building for a few hours, surrounded by bookshelves, the occasional pair of huge leather chairs, and not much else. “I don’t really know why I’m here, but It certainly is a lot of books.”

“You could try reading one, you know. That’s what’s generally done with them,” a new voice suggested.

“Potter!”

Potter gave a small bow of his head. “The same. Now tell me, if you will, who you are.”

Arena of Learning (Private Dungeon Space 2 of 5) Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon. You have entered the arena of learning, a place dedicated to both knowing and understanding. Here is stored the knowledge of thousands of worlds, most of which will be made available to you. While not every secret can be known, many of the secrets here are both accessible and valuable. This dungeon cannot be failed. It is its own reward. A familiar guide has been provided to you, one who can locate information you’d like to learn and who will do his best to help you understand it.

“You don’t remember me?” Tulland asked. “Brist did.”

“I don’t know who that is, either. I just know that I was created here for the purpose of helping you. If you wouldn’t mind, I believe an introduction would do us both good.”

“I’m Tulland. I knew you in one of your past lives. I’m a farmer, kind of.”

“You’ll have to explain to me how one can be only kind of a farmer. With that said, I assure you that I did not know you in the past life you mention.”

“No, we really did. You were a nice enough guy, too. I think you kept me alive a few times, although with the way you work, it’s hard to say.”

“I assure you we did not. It’s quite impossible because I’ve had no previous lives. Please check on my description. I’m sure it will help you understand a bit better.”

Simulated Potter Unlike Brist, who had a soul-bound contract with The Infinite, Potter has not cycled through enough Infinite-involved lives to have ever signed a similar agreement. This is not a judgment on his scholarship, however. Given that you needed a guide, The Infinite thought that a familiar face would be helpful, and this particular face is more than qualified to provide you with what you require. As a simulation, this Potter has a similar level of skill understanding as compared to the real thing. He does not, however, have any memories of his own from outside this place. Any interactions you have with him will have no effect on his soul, wherever it might be. Potter has been stripped of all combat abilities for the sake of this simulation, and is thus as fragile and mortal as a class-less human generally is. Be careful around him, if you plan on making the most of his help.

“Ah. I see.” Tulland smiled at what had turned out not to be his friend. “Is there anything you want to say or do, outside of helping me? Or should we get down to it?”

“We should get down to business, I would say.” Potter nodded decisively. “You have limited time to learn, and educating oneself properly is the work of a lifetime. Every moment wasted is some more knowledge lost. What would you like to learn first?”

Ten hours later, Tulland woke up from a nap at a reading desk, one which had significantly more drool on it than it had before. He now knew many dozens of new facts about plants, some of which he nearly understood, and a few of which he was even confident he’d remember.

The biggest point of learning so far had been that plants were the main link between a world’s sun and the rest of its life, a sort of mining operation that converted sunshine into almost everything else that lived and grew. That was neat enough to know, but like everything else Tulland had learned, not exactly useful. Knowing what minerals were called helped him put a name on what his plants were asking for, but he already knew that plants liked certain bones and manure.

“Potter. Could you please explain everything I’ve read to me in more casual terms? Just the best you can in, say, ten minutes or less,” Tulland asked.

Potter gave it a shot. He managed to reduce several concepts down to versions that were a little bit more accurate, but much easier to understand. It didn't help much. Tulland understood them better, but it was still a level of learning that fell far, far short of the understanding his Farmer’s Intuition provided him for free.

“I don’t get it.” Tulland let his head bounce off the desk. “I won’t ever learn enough to inform Farmer’s Intuition of anything, especially now that it’s running on universal growth chaos, or whatever that stuff was. This just seems like a waste of time.”

“That’s correct.” Potter nodded. “You are using your time incredibly unwisely.”

Tulland perked up.

“Wait, am I?”

“Yes. Why would you want to learn about things you already know to near perfection? You should learn about one of the many areas you are weak on and bolster your knowledge there.”

“You can see these areas?”

“Of course. I am your guide in this place.”

“Then go get me some books. Whatever you think would help.”

“Of course. I’ll return shortly.”

Tulland managed to stay awake from when Potter padded away through the endless library to when he came back with a cart full of books, overloaded to the point of overfilling with enough knowledge that Tulland immediately lost his taste for reading them.

“Can you just explain them to me? In a way I’ll remember?” Tulland clasped his hands together. “Please. I know it isn’t your job…”

“It’s my exact job. I’m a scholar who was generated to do just that sort of thing.” Potter picked up a book from the pile. “The main value of this one would have been to teach you about governance.”

“I know all about that,” Tulland said.

“Do you? Who sits at the head of your world’s power structures?”

“The Church, of course.”

“No. Incorrect.”

Tulland’s mind cracked a little.

“Really? Who is more powerful than the Church?”

“On many worlds, no-one. It isn’t unheard of, but…”

Potter proceeded to explain several frankly ridiculous forms of government to Tulland, none of which involved an all-powerful Church at all. Better, he did it efficiently, threading the needle in the thin space in which Tulland’s interest in the subject and limited ability to tolerate complexity intersected.

Over the next week, the same thing happened dozens of times. Tulland felt like some of what he was learning was a little far-fetched, like when Potter told him of planets where machines and metal were stronger than the classes that supplemented them, or several planets where shoes had never really caught on.

None of it was that useful by itself, but slowly Tulland began to connect certain dots with what he was learning and how his old tutor back on Ouros had thought about the world. The old tutor hadn’t been correct on all points, but he had generally picked lessons he thought taught some overarching lesson about the world. He wasn’t always right about the particulars, but the lessons were always consistent with everything he was learning here.

Which meant, he eventually realized, that his teacher’s mind had probably been prepared for anything. He wouldn’t have necessarily understood specifics, but he would have known about what he was dealing with and about how to react to it in almost any situation Tulland could think of.

“That’s impossible, right? Just generally knowing about everything?” Tulland asked.

“No, Tulland.” The simulated Potter shook his head with what probably wasn’t simulated pity. “That’s what’s generally referred to as wisdom.”

“And I just never got any of that?”

“Most children of your age don’t. It’s about experience. Think about it. Did anything your tutor taught you make sense at the time?”

“Not much of it. It started to after I came to The Infinite, though… Oh. I see. I owe that man an apology.”

“If he was like most teachers, you likely don’t. He probably prayed some of it would stick with you, and would be overjoyed to find it did. And that you are continuing your education to build on that foundation. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to honor his legacy with this.”

Potter held up a book well over a foot thick named How Water Works and smiled. Tulland winced and shuddered, both of which were lost on the simulation. When he felt the pull of The Infinite taking him away from the interaction, he almost shouted in relief, but thought it would be rude to his library assistant.

“It mainly comes in three forms!” The fake Potter yelled, as the world he inhabited fell apart. “It gets a lot more complex than that, but that’s the main…”

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