I Will Be the Greatest Knight
Chapter 232: Heavy

Chapter 232: Heavy

Duties prevailed over heavy feelings.

Even though Felix and Irene sat there for a long while, the younger apprentice waiting for the older to get himself together, they still eventually stood up and attended to the duties they had in the wake of the goblin and ogre massacre.

Normally, the two would be satisfied as their eyes brushed across the valley and saw it littered with the bodies of monsters, but all they could feel was the overwhelming sense of loss. It only got heavier the longer they faced battle.

Even though the Knights of Chemois had undoubtedly lost fewer men than the other knighthoods, their numbers were so small to begin with because of the siege of the Duke’s Tower that their loss felt much more alarming. It was hard to look around and see if there was any of their own left after a while.

They felt backed against a wall and all alone despite there still being plenty of them left.

She had to convince herself that once this was all over with, they would still have a knighthood to return to.

As usual, they went on the usual tasks after a heavy battle of taking useful items from the goblins so that they could stack up their bodies. Then they would stand by while the bodies burned. If the fire was still burning when there was only ash left, they would fill buckets with water and put out the fires as best as possible so it wouldn’t burn through the grasses that were left and get to their camp or the Duke’s Tower.

The Duke’s Tower, where survivors supposedly lasted, but they couldn’t focus on that at the moment. They couldn’t even be the heroes that their fellow Chemoians deserved because they were already spread thin dealing with battle and trying to survive.

Were they even defending the knighthood by that point?

These thoughts prevailed and made Irene feel heavy as she cleaned up the area of the battlefield where Felix once lay with Sir Eitan. The oldest apprentice by then had helped others take the knight’s body away. It was so hard to imagine him merely being dumped with all the other bodies that stacked up, but that was the reality of their lives at that moment.

No one could be afforded special treatment.

There was only one goblin body left that Irene could drag back and push into the fire.

However, as she moved the goblin, who was quite small but had a bulbous stomach, she was shocked when a helmet was revealed to her.

The girl gasped as her gloved hands lifted the helmet. She wiped the blood and filth off the silver steel, but it wasn’t perfect. There was a large dent in it towards the bottom left side where the wearer likely had it knocked off of his head.

What was more, she recognized immediately that it was Sir Eitan’s helmet. They had been wondering where it went.

The girl had to place the helmet on the goblin as she dragged it by its two legs. She removed the helmet and placed it on the ground. Leif then joined her at the edge of the fire and helped her throw the goblin into it.

"What’s this?" he asked as he picked up the helmet and handed it to her.

Irene’s eyebrows lowered.

For the first time since Sir Eitan had died, she finally felt like crying. She managed to swallow down the lump that formed in her throat so Leif wouldn’t have to deal with it.

"Sir Eitan’s helmet," she admitted. "I’m going to give it to Felix once I find him."

"You should go do that," Leif responded gently. "I’ll tell Sir Gunnar if he wonders where you went."

"Thanks," Irene responded, trying to smile at the other apprentice even though it still looked sad.

As she said she would, Irene went back to the encampment. Everyone was already headed back to their various tasks anyway. It was also time for the camp to eat their final meal for the day. It was overdue considering how long the battle and cleanup took.

Before anything else, she went to the cooking area where there were cloths and she cleaned up the helmet completely so that there weren’t any more signs of blood or filth on the metal.

The girl then went into the barrack tent where their beds surrounded the hearth. There she found Felix sitting at the edge of his bed. He was half-dressed. It seemed that he had tried to get changed and clean himself up, but lost motivation halfway through. He merely sat there staring into the flames of the fire, lost in thought.

"Felix," she gently called to him.

When he looked up at her wordlessly, but wearing such a miserable expression, she could only keep moving forward.

"I found Sir Eitan’s helmet," she explained as she held it up. "I think you should have it."

He merely held out his hands until it was in his grasp, and then he stared down at it for a few moments.

"Thanks, Iro," he responded.

Since there wasn’t much more to do than that, Irene got into her own clothing behind the flap of the tent that divided their barrack from a few boxes of storage. However, she knew that Sir Gunnar had set it up at the beginning with the very purpose of giving her a small bit of privacy. Eventually, she wasn’t the only one who got dressed behind it. It was a relief that she didn’t have to stick out in such a way.

She also quickly washed her face, only being able to imagine how much goblin blood was likely on her at that moment.

She then went to attend to dinner with the others.

However, she quickly realized they needed the dishes they had been cleaning, and she excused herself from the others, saying she would return with the box of bowls they had left when they were attacked.

For some reason, being alone and so far away from the encampment, Irene found herself unable to hold back as she crouched down in front of the stream. Tears finally fell from her eyes, and all she could do was sit there and let the grief strike her.

She wasn’t sure how long she had been there before suddenly there were arms going around her, and she leaned into someone who was so very familiar to her by that point. She returned his comforting hug and leaned into him.

Leif sat there, allowing her to cry to her heart’s content.

He tried to ignore the fact that it was very much the body of a girl he was holding onto so tightly as she leaned into him. If she knew what he thought, there was no doubt she wouldn’t trust him anymore. He had to keep it to himself forever.