I Will Be the Greatest Knight
Chapter 195: Somber

Chapter 195: Somber

Irene’s respect grew for Felix when she witnessed him carry Agnes’s corpse from the kitchen when the girl was finally properly covered. What an unbelievable weight for him to be burdened with as he took her to a place behind the barracks so she could rest with the most beautiful view of the mountains.

Despite the tears streaking down his dirty face, no one pointed it out. They merely looked on in sorrow, knowing that it was a pivotal moment in his life. It would be something he carried with him until his last breath.

Despite the anguish, his eyebrows were lowered in pure hatred. He was angry, and he was determined.

It would be interesting to see what would happen the next time he saw goblins. Only when they were all dead would he be satisfied that he had put the one who did that to her to its death. Each one he faced would suffice in his vendetta.

While Felix disappeared behind the building, everyone afforded him privacy and continued on in understanding. They would carry his responsibility until he was finally able to return to them and continue.

They all carried as many supplies as they could from the kitchen to tie them over while they stayed in the barracks and waited for backup. It would require a few different trips, but they were taking advantage of the sun and the monsters who seemed insistent on remaining hidden.

Despite all that had developed with the monsters, that was one part that remained true for the time being: their hatred of the sun.

Not only did they get food from the kitchen, they also went through various storage areas and got blankets and linens, cloths, clothing, sewing kits, and anything they might need to camp. Luckily, the trips to the kitchen were finished, and they could instead browse the outside storage areas where camping supplies would be.

The smartest thing they could do for themselves was to stock up on supplies and put them in the safe rooms in the barracks so that the goblins wouldn’t be able to get to things they may need first.

The wooden storage sheds would be no match against a swarm of goblins.

For the first time in so long, the survivors were allowed to eat a real meal with remnants of food left behind in the kitchen. Luckily, the maids had worked hard to preserve food that the squires had been hunting. They had plenty to last them for a while, but they also left plenty more behind in case others returned and needed supplies as well.

As they sat in a barrack shoulder to shoulder while they silently ate, there was a sense of lingering somberness that wouldn’t leave as they thought of Felix sitting alone in a field while he mourned his love dying.

Irene couldn’t imagine what that must have been like. She wasn’t sure if he should be alone in that moment or not.

When she was finished with the stew they had pulled together, she refilled her bowl to everyone’s surprise. Normally, she was more conscientious than that.

"I’m going to see if Felix is hungry," she quietly explained. "Even if he isn’t..."

She didn’t want to finish the sentence. He should try to eat anyway, even if darkness prevailed in his heart and mind in that moment. Keeping his strength was going to be so important.

+

It wasn’t anything Felix wanted to face, but he dutifully pressed on as he brought Agnes’ body to the other side of the barracks and sat down in the long, green grass. He had retrieved a shovel from one of the sheds, but he didn’t make it farther than the wall of the barracks. He leaned against it as he took in the mountains that towered over them—ones he was so very familiar with.

He managed to calm down as he brought her out there, but he was quickly losing his composure as he thought of the very heavy burden he was carrying.

She was sitting on his lap, and he pulled what he knew to be her head against his shoulder. He hid his face in the linen cloth that covered her completely, and the tears came easily once more.

He had lost people in the past and knew that crying never changed anything, but he couldn’t stop himself no matter how much he tried. For a moment, the helplessness he experienced as a child struck him, and he felt out of control of his life once more.

"I can’t do this, Agnes," he whispered and kissed the linen cloth that was wet with his tears.

He wished so badly it was her forehead. He always daydreamed of being able to hold her the way he was at that moment and enjoy moments alone with her.

But not like that. Never like that.

They were supposed to do everything together once he was knighted. He would have rights to land and build her a home so wonderful where they could put their children and know that they were safe and far away from the Duke’s Tower.

His light blue eyes were blurry, but he still gazed at the mountain. From that moment forward, it would always represent Agnes to him. He hoped that her spirit was far from that horrible place, but on the chance that she could see him, he wanted to make her happy with the unbelievable view.

"My heart was yours already," he said. "Now the mountain is yours. My life is yours. I will kill every one of those monsters, knowing what they took from me."

He feared so badly that she would be the last warmth he ever felt in his life.

As Felix tried to pull himself together, he heard the footsteps of someone approaching, and he protectively held Agnes against his chest. His red, swollen eyes caught the person walking towards him, and he was relieved to see it was Irene.

For some reason, that apprentice seeing him fall apart didn’t bother him that much. They had a strangely quiet understanding that there were times to joke with one another and times when the seriousness of life was beating them down enough that all they needed was the other person to be a silent but consistent force in their life.

Irene lifted the bowl of steaming stew.

"I thought you should probably eat something," she admitted. "It was a good excuse to check on you."

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