I transmigrated and got a husband and a son!
Chapter 59: Guilt

Chapter 59: Guilt

How strange.

Heaven had been racking her brain about how to get along with her son. The original Heaven was resentful, and the current soul just didn’t share the same sentiments as the original Heaven. From their outlook on life and upbringing, they were very different in every aspect of life. The only similarity they had was that they were both inexperienced in being a mother.

The original Heaven only birthed the child. Other than that, she did nothing but glare and resent her child. Meanwhile, the current soul did not birth, nor did she ever have a child of her own in her original life. Although she always dreamed of having a family of her own, people often told her that birthing her own child and adopting was different. Moreover, considering the environment she was moving in, bringing a child into this world was not a smart move.

That was why she found it very strange.

What was this feeling in her heart? A feeling she never knew existed? When she saw Sebastian, she knew she’d burn the world for him.

Heaven observed her son, who was sitting across from her. She urged him to stay in the garden, and so, here they were. Sebastian was quietly reading a book, unbothered by the piles of books he brought to the table. Meanwhile, Heaven was pretending to read a book, just to not disturb her son.

’Fortunately, Miriam told me about him.’ She mentally sighed in relief before smiling subtly. ’Still, I’m glad he is rather cooperative and understanding. He’s really Dominic’s son...’

Her thoughts trailed off as she lowered her eyes. ’Now I understand why Heaven couldn’t accept this child. It’s those eyes.’

Heaven peeked at Sebastian, only to see him pick up another book while already keeping the first one open. It wasn’t an exaggeration to say Sebastian was Dominic’s mini-me. He had those same eyes his father bore, and back then, this child would often look at his mother with longing, confusion, and pain.

The original Heaven couldn’t stand it.

She didn’t hate him, per se. The original Heaven simply couldn’t stand the woman those pair of eyes were mirroring. Thus, she refused to see her own child to avoid the guilt scratching under her skin.

The current Heaven disliked the owner of the memories in her head, but she couldn’t fully blame her.

It was only natural for a broken person to hurt others, intentionally or not.

Was that justifiable? No.

Would she tolerate it? Never in nine hells.

Does she understand the original Heaven? Yes.

The current Heaven understood that the original Heaven mishandled people and then avoided communication. She understood that the original Heaven deluded herself into thinking her actions were to protect the peace she was trying to build. She understood that Sebastian’s mother was so convinced of her truth, she had avoided accountability.

’I’m sorry,’ she whispered in her heart as she stared at Sebastian. ’I’m sorry that your mother got murdered and that she couldn’t love you even at the very end.’

Her heart felt heavy, as if a needle was piercing it at every breath. ’I’m sorry... for not feeling sorry she’s dead.’

Sebastian slowly lifted his gaze, immediately catching his mother’s gaze. His brows rose slightly, confused at what she was thinking at this moment.

’Is that a new way to glare at someone?’ he wondered, comparing how she usually glared at him and now. It didn’t seem his mother was resenting him. If anything, it looked as though Heaven was pitying him.

Why?

Sebastian pressed his lips into a thin line. "Is there something wrong..." he trailed off, holding his breath when a tear suddenly rolled down Heaven’s cheek.

"I’m... sorry, Sebastian Zhu." Her voice was only above a whisper, but it sounded clear to him. "I’m sorry for hurting you."

Sebastian held his breath, unable to look away from her. She didn’t need tears to prove her sincerity because her eyes spoke loud enough. She meant every word she said.

"Basti, Mommy is sorry for everything." Heaven slid her hand over the table, opening her palm for him. "Can you give Mommy a chance?"

A chance?

Sebastian blinked and before he knew it, he blurted out, "Aren’t you leaving?"

"Hmm?"

"You and Father. Are you fighting for child custody?" he asked directly, making one forget he was four. "I do not mind whose side I’ll fall on. You do not have to pity me if that is the reason behind your words. I’ll be fine on my own."

’But you’re four,’ was what she wanted to say, but held back.

"Who said I’m leaving?" Heaven tilted her head to the side. "Your daddy and I are on better terms now. If I’m leaving, you wouldn’t find me in your father’s bedroom."

"Didn’t you just switch rooms?"

"No." Heaven chuckled, retrieving her hands to cup her face. "I’ve been sleeping in his room for a few days now. He’s been coming home at eight. We can have dinner later."

Her smile twisted into a frown as a thought crossed her mind. "Now that I think about it, he didn’t tell me you’ll come home today."

"Young Master?!" Suddenly, Miriam’s voice reached their ears. Both Heaven and Sebastian turned their heads in her direction, only for Heaven to furrow her brows.

"Miriam, why do you look so pale and haggard?" inquired Heaven, assessing her son’s nanny from head to toe. "Moreover, where have you gone so early in the morning? Did everyone have a day off?"

Where did everyone go?

Miriam was panting, trying to stabilize her breathing. She gazed at Heaven before setting her eyes back on the young master. But before she could summarize the uproar this morning, cold sweats broke out on her back upon sensing a domineering aura behind her.

"Hubby?" Heaven blinked as soon as she caught the towering figure that suddenly appeared behind Miriam. Much to her dismay, Dominic’s face darkened as his sharp eyes landed on the boy across from her.

"Sebastian Zhu. You are in trouble."