I transmigrated and got a husband and a son!
Chapter 346: I don’t hate you

Chapter 346: I don’t hate you

Meanwhile...

Paula wiped her tears with the back of her hand. The detectives had already left several minutes ago for her to rest, but she couldn’t do what she was told.

How could she rest?

Even if she wanted to rest and sleep to forget what had just happened tonight, she couldn’t. Her mind and heart were torturing her, keeping her awake from what she had done.

"I’m sorry..." she whispered, covering her face with her hands. "Heaven, I..."

The rest of her words rolled back to her throat, almost choking her until she was out of breath.

’I didn’t mean to hurt you...’ were the words she wanted to say and wanted to believe. But alas, she had never believed her either.

All the words of apology, all the twists she did to her mind and belief, none of them were something Paula truly and deeply believed. She had deluded herself sometimes, but deep in her heart, she was aware of how much she betrayed Heaven and her father.

"I didn’t want to do it again..." came out along with her muffled cries. "I’m sorry."

As Paula quietly cried, grieving for Heaven’s death, Heaven was sitting on the edge of the same bed. Her hands were resting on either side of her, head turned to Paula.

"Now you’re sorry?" Heaven let out a dry laugh, watching Paula grieve for her. "Why are you crying when you’re the person who killed me, Paula?"

Bitterness shone in Heaven’s eyes while Paula continuously cried while whispering sorry and that she didn’t mean it. For others, it might appear as though Paula was simply trying to twist her mind once again. However, Heaven knew Paula more than anyone. At least she knew Paula before darkness consumed her friend.

"I’m very angry at you, Paula," she said. "There were so many questions in my mind, but the more I thought about it... the more I believe I equate to you."

Heaven pressed her lips as she smiled bitterly. "We’re like both sides of the same coin. Regardless, we are the same coin."

Both of them had destroyed the people around them, making themselves believe what they wanted to believe. They only see what they wanted to see, disregarding the goodness of their lives. They listened to many people but their own voices. Perhaps it was because both of them were broken in their own way, reflecting their pain and brokenness to those around them.

After watching Hera live as Heaven Liu and how everything changed, Heaven already realized many things. Hera didn’t need to say it to her. Heaven already knew and for sure, without everyone pointing fingers at Paula, Paula was already aware of her sins.

"Dad... will be very disappointed in us." A bitter smile dominated Heaven, setting her eyes back to Paula. "He will be very angry — livid for what we turned out, Paula."

Her brows rose as Paula peeled her hands from her face. Paula laughed while crying, turning her head to the door. She slowly flung her legs out, holding the pole that was connected to her IV, only to peek outside the door. Seeing there were a few officers outside, Paula closed the door ever so gently.

"Don’t tell me..." Heaven trailed off, watching her friend drag her feet toward the other corner of the room until Paula was standing in front of the window. "Oh, I see."

Paula opened the window, and her hair immediately floated back by the breeze. Yet, Heaven did nothing but watch her friend do what seemed to be what she guessed.

"I’m tired..." Paula hiccuped, hands on the side of the window. "I’m tired of myself, Heaven, Dad. I’m tired of how I always mess things up. I just... want to rest."

Heaven kept her lips in a tight line, listening to Paula’s confession along with her muffled cries.

"I didn’t want to hurt her. I just want her to stop..." just like how she wanted to stop the monster from coming out of their dad’s eyes. "I just..."

"You want us to stop loving you so you won’t feel guilty for betraying us?" This time, Heaven was already standing beside Paula, staring at the latter’s side profile and catching the complexity in Paula’s eyes. "Paula, it’s not that you don’t want to hurt me or Dad. You wanted to hurt us. That’s why you did what you did. However, what is killing you right now is that you know... we never stopped loving you, even when you hurt us."

Heaven knew the things Paula couldn’t say, for she was once in the same position as Paula. At one point, Heaven wanted Dominic or Sebastian to look at her with disgust. Or at least, to treat her terribly. If they did, she had more reason to leave or not give a damn about them.

However, Dominic took responsibility for her regardless of that night of the afterparty. He continuously did his part as a partner and Sebastian’s father; he wouldn’t even talk back or get back at her no matter how vicious Heaven would be to him. His kindness was killing her.

It was the same for Paula.

Knowing that despite the love she was getting from others, it wouldn’t fix her because she lost her love for herself. Just like how Heaven slowly lost herself five years ago.

They hated themselves. Thus, they couldn’t stand their own reflections.

"I don’t hate you, Paula." Heaven slowly planted her hand on Paula’s hand that was clutching the window. "I love you even at this second. You will always be my sister no matter what, but... I hate what you had done. Don’t die, Paula."

She smiled bitterly. "Live for as long as you can. Live with that guilt until you take your last breath. Maybe, if you do, I can forgive you for taking my dad away from me."

Paula closed her eyes as she clenched her teeth. She took a deep breath as she tried to climb up the window, only to huff and push herself away.

"I can’t do it." Paula hissed as more tears covered her eyes.

Just then, a nurse came in, only to see the bed empty and Paula slumped on the floor near the open window.

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