I Really Am A Villain
Ch. 56 - Advancing Into True Meridian Realm

The night passed in silence. Though they had stayed busy all night, the group had found nothing.

As the sky began to brighten, the disciples of Divine Sun Sacred Ground returned to the main hall.

Wang Tao was the first to speak: “Steward Hu, did anything happen last night?”

“No, no,” Hu Yuanwai quickly shook his head. “I just did a roll call, everyone’s safe and sound.”

“Looks like that thing is nothing special. Just some trickster pretending to be a ghost,” Wang Tao sighed in relief.

From the side, Xu Zimo stood up from his recliner, stretched lazily, and looked at Wang Tao.

“Young man, your brow is dark… Might be a sign of bloodshed ahead.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Wang Tao asked, frowning.

Xu Zimo didn’t answer. He just smiled faintly and walked outside the hall, starting his morning exercises under the rising sun.

“Let’s not argue,” Hu Yuanwai quickly intervened. “I’ve had breakfast prepared. You’ve all worked hard through the night, come and eat. I still hope you’ll stay a few more days and help me catch the killer.”

Wang Tao glanced at Xu Zimo and muttered, “I’m going to the toilet,” before walking off alone.

During breakfast, everyone gathered, except Wang Tao, who didn’t show up even after a long wait.

Little Gui joked, “Did your Senior Brother Wang slipped into the toilet or what?”

“I’ll go check on him,” said Xing Lin, frowning. He suppressed his irritation and left the dining hall.

Soon after, a maid came running in, trembling and terrified.

“Master… Young Master Wang Tao… is dead!”

“What?!” Hu Yuanwai dropped his wine cup, face drained of color. He stood up in shock and rushed outside, firing off questions at the maid.

Wang Tao was dead, but not in the latrine. He had died in his room.

That morning, a maid had passed by and noticed a strong stench of blood. Curious, she had opened the door, what she saw made her stomach turn.

Wang Tao was lying on his bed, his head severed, blood soaking the sheets.

His eyes were closed, and his expression oddly peaceful, as if someone had cut off his head while he slept, and he hadn’t even noticed.

“Didn’t he just say he was going to the bathroom? He was fine just moments ago! How…?”

Hu Yuanwai stammered, unable to get the words out.

Just then, Xing Lin returned, he had checked the latrine and found no trace of Wang Tao.

Everyone stared in stunned silence at the horrific scene.

Xing Lin walked over to inspect the body. He examined the blood coagulation and the temperature of the flesh around the wound.

After a long pause, he finally said, “He’s been dead for at least six hours.”

“What nonsense is that? He was with us all night! We even talked this morning!” Xiao Yu said, face pale with disbelief.

“This mission may be beyond our capabilities,” Xing Lin said grimly, turning to Hu Yuanwai. “I’m sorry, Steward Hu. We’re giving up this mission. Once I’m back, I’ll submit it for reassessment. Maybe a more senior disciple will come later.”

Though anxious, Hu Yuanwai knew he couldn’t force them to stay.

That very morning, Xing Lin and Xiao Yu left the town and returned to Divine Sun Sacred Ground, skipping breakfast entirely.

“Master Xu, are you and your companions leaving too?” Hu Yuanwai asked Xu Zimo and his group.

“Steward Hu, how about this, would you like to watch a good show?” Xu Zimo smiled.

“A… a good show?” Hu Yuanwai asked nervously.

Xu Zimo then gathered Hu Yuanwai, Little Gui, and Lin Ruhu and whispered a plan to them.

Seeing their odd expressions, Xu Zimo added, “If you’re too scared, you don’t have to do it. I can handle it alone.”

“What’s there to be afraid of? Look at what my household has become,” Hu Yuanwai muttered. After some hesitation, he made up his mind.

That day, several more of the Hu estate’s servants resigned. No amount of money could make them stay after Wang Tao’s death, it was the last straw.

After breakfast, Xu Zimo pulled out a reclining chair and lay back, basking in the sun.

He was thinking about his breakthrough to the True Meridian Realm. He had been at the peak of the Meridian Forging Realm for a while now.

Then, slowly, he activated the power within the pearl.

The third Meridian Gate, Dawnwind, was located in the chest.

Thanks to the dual boost of God Meridian energy from the bead and the Ten Meridian Fruit, the gate burst open with ease.

It was like breaking through a decaying dam, no resistance at all.

With a loud boom, spiritforce surged through Xu Zimo’s body like a raging river breaking its banks.

“From heaven descends the Yellow River’s flow, rushing endlessly into the sea below.”

The rich spiritforce washed through him, reinforcing his organs, muscles, and bones.

Springwheel, Deepbone, Dawnwind, the first three gates formed a minor cycle of energy. The twelve gates formed a major cycle, divided into four minor cycles of three.

Xu Zimo could clearly feel his spiritforce several times stronger than before. Once he unlocked the fourth gate, Vastsea, he’d even gain the ability to fly.

In the center courtyard of the Hu estate, various low-grade spirit herbs were growing, brightly colored flowers blooming among the beds.

Butterflies fluttered through the blossoms, and Hu Yuanwai’s four-year-old daughter ran joyfully among them, trying to catch one.

“Big Brother Xu, look! I caught another butterfly!” the girl, Hu Yingying, ran up and bragged proudly.

“Good girl,” Xu Zimo bent down and gently pinched her plump little cheeks.

He almost squished her face into a different shape. Tearful, Hu Yingying rubbed her reddened cheeks and ran off to her father to complain.

Behind her, Xu Zimo burst into hearty laughter.

The day passed in peace, but as night fell once more, a tense gloom returned to the Hu residence.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, and darkness crept in, everyone in the estate felt a chill settle over their hearts.

Inside the hall, Hu Yuanwai clutched a wine cup, drinking one glass after another, trying to muster courage.

“Brother Xu… are you sure about this?” Little Gui asked nervously.

“Would I bother if I weren’t sure?” Xu Zimo replied with a calm smile.

“I believe in Brother Zimo,” Lin Ruhu said firmly.

They all looked up at the pitch-black sky.

And then, once again, the sorrowful, haunting song of the ghost woman echoed across the estate.

{Thoughts of the Author on the main characters and the story}

To be honest, my mentality completely collapsed today.

Because of this book about a villain.

The most hotly debated question so far has been: “What exactly makes a true villain?”

Everyone has their own idea of what a villain should be.

I've always wanted to write a villain with flesh and blood, depth and emotion. But I’ve come to realize, some readers still prefer brainless villains.

In my understanding, there’s actually no such thing as a villain or a protagonist.

In this world, there are only winners and losers.

Winners portray themselves as saviors and heroes, while painting losers as evil, ruthless villains.

Because history is always written by the victors.

Why did I want to write this book?

Because I’ve seen too many novels where the protagonist is always the big hero, always standing on the moral high ground, always justified no matter what they do.

They're so perfect, it's like they have no flaws at all.

And the villain? Always awful, committing every imaginable crime, with not a single redeeming trait.

I keep asking myself: Are there really people that perfect in the world? And are there really people that terrible?

Good and evil are never so clearly divided. The world has always been gray.

Everyone has a side they don’t show. Heroes have flaws. Villains have virtues.

The kind of villain I want to write is like Xu Zimo, To outsiders, he can be shameless, ruthless, unpredictable, and two-faced. But at the same time, he’s loyal and affectionate. He has parents, close brothers, and a girl he likes.

Many people might say: “What kind of villain is this? He’s just a protagonist in disguise.”

But I seriously want to ask, Only heroes are allowed to care about others? Villains can’t have emotions too?

Are villains not human?

Do they not have feelings and desires?

Do they not have parents?

Do they not have things or people they want to protect?

Do they really have zero redeeming qualities?

Why is it that their entire life gets invalidated?

Why is their whole world painted black with no trace of white, just to make the protagonist look even more flawless?

They’re human, flesh, blood, and soul. Not machines.

That’s not the kind of villain I want to write.

Some readers want a villain like this:

Xu Zimo is the flashiest guy in the sect, surrounded by bootlickers who constantly mock the protagonist and provoke hatred.

Then, instead of the protagonist turning the tables in a typical power fantasy, the villain one-ups them and becomes the one doing the “face-slapping.”

That’s your classic brainless villain trope.

Yes, I admit my book contains some familiar tropes, but it’s not entirely a trope novel.

I want every character to feel alive, like a real person.

Xu Zimo doesn’t do evil for the sake of being a villain. He acts on impulse.

When he’s in a good mood, he might play the role of a great hero. When he’s in a bad mood, he might slaughter an entire city of innocent people.

He doesn’t care about public opinion or what the world thinks.

He’s flesh and blood. He has people and things he wants to protect. And yes, he can be vicious, ruthless, and cunning when it comes to outsiders.

He’s not a hero, but he’s also not a soulless killer.

In truth, the label “villain” is something defined by the winner, just like history.

And what Xu Zimo wants to be is a winner. Whether he’s called a villain or a hero? That depends on his mood.

As for Chu Yang, some readers don’t like him, because he’s already been branded a loser.

But I never tried to paint him as a joke. In fact, I spent several chapters building him up.

He has good qualities: He’s an ordinary young man from a small village who, for the sake of the woman he loves, works hard, perseveres, and overcomes hardship. He has no powerful background, yet he doesn't flinch when facing the True Martial Sacred Ground. Instead, he wants to grow stronger through effort. These are admirable traits.

Even if his efforts are ultimately crushed by Xu Zimo’s overwhelming strength, Even if they seem pathetic or laughable in comparison, That doesn’t mean he’s worthless. His life isn’t all darkness. He has qualities worth learning from.

As for Bai Lixiao, some people say she acts like a slut. She clearly likes Chu Yang, yet agrees to be Xu Zimo’s fiancée. She enjoys the resources of the True Martial Sacred Ground but shows no gratitude, treating it as a stepping stone.

But with this character, I’ve brought in a sense of real-world helplessness.

She’s just like you and me, she’s unwilling to live an ordinary life in some tiny village.

She wants to rise above, to be somebody. Just like all of us.

But a tiny village could never fulfill her ambition.

She needed resources, connections, and much more. So she had to go to the True Martial Sacred Ground.

But after gaining those things, nothing comes free in this world. Her fate no longer belonged to her, that’s the price.

She wanted to be with Chu Yang. But how could the sect allow their cultivated Saintess to marry some village nobody?

If she wanted to control her own fate, she had to grow even stronger.

So she had no choice but to compromise, marry Xu Zimo to gain Xu Qingshan’s support, then use Xu Zimo to get more resources, to grow stronger.

Maybe she’s selfish. Maybe she’s manipulative. But everything she did, was to become strong enough to be with the one she loved.

She had no other choice. Without the support of the True Martial Sacred Ground, she was just an ordinary village girl. She couldn’t afford to choose freely.

Some readers even comment: “Xu Zimo acts like a brain-dead moron. Why not just kill Chu Yang right away? What’s the point of keeping him around?”

Honestly, I’d love to just have Xu Zimo kill Chu Yang.

But this is a novel. If he’s killed off too early, what else is there to write? Should we just end the story right there?

Some people might like what I’m doing. Others might not. But this is the story I want to tell.

You should all know by now, I’m not making money writing this book. In fact, I’m losing money every month, 600 yuan a month to keep my full-attendance status.

So I sincerely ask, if you don’t like this story, please just click the “X” and leave.

I also genuinely hope you find a villain novel that suits your taste, be it trope-heavy, dark-themed, or whatever else.

As for this novel, I will not slander Chu Yang just to make Xu Zimo look better.

Nor will I force Xu Zimo to commit atrocities just to make him “seem more villainous.”

Everyone in this story has flesh, blood, and soul. Whether they win or lose, that’s what I want to express.

So please, stop asking me what makes a villain.

Outside of the truly inhuman monsters, even the bad guys have consciences.

To put it simply:

Xu Zimo doesn’t aim to be a villain, he aims to be a winner. A winner who gets to write history.

I won’t force my views on you, and I hope you won’t try to invalidate mine either.

For those who stick around, I’ll try my best to write a story worthy of your support.

For those who leave, may we meet again someday, somewhere down the road.

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