I, a Mental Patient, Was Chosen to Participate in AnalogHorror
Chapter 212 - 180: Arctic Catfish

Chapter 212: Chapter 180: Arctic Catfish

Oh my God...

Wash my eyes.

A naked man had a bull in a death grip.

If Park Renmeng managed to get out of this safely, he definitely needed to wash his eyes out!

While Xi Tang’s studies might not have been up to scratch, the talent level in the live-streaming room wasn’t low.

"Ok! Dynamic wallpaper complete!"

"Damn, bro, that was fast. I’ll pay for one, preferably in 4K HD."

"My review is not as good as World War II, you just made a wallpaper? Someone else has already rolled out a ghostly video, shooting straight to the top of the area!"

"Not surprising, after all, Kuku has the innate advantage..."

"What do you mean?"

"Uh, what I mean is, he doesn’t even need any ghostly video enhancements, he can just go with the unedited original image and slay the ghostly area where no one dares to claim supremacy."

"Damn! He, he’s on the move again!"

Under the watchful eyes of hundreds of millions in the entire Indian nation’s live-streaming room.

Kuku, who couldn’t suck out any milk, finally lost his patience.

With a mighty roar, he bit down fiercely.

(;ﾉ´༎ຶ益༎ຶ`ﾉ;)

The expression of the bull melted immediately, and its eyes bulged out.

"MOO!!!!"

The pained bull definitely burst forth with the fastest speed it had ever achieved.

All four hooves were churning out phantoms!

The speed leapt up impressively!

...

At this point, Xiao Ya and Jack in the lead were struggling to keep up.

They couldn’t help but stop and gasp for air.

Their lungs burned with every breath.

They really... really couldn’t run anymore...

They had already run more than five miles all around.

Indeed.

Human stamina just couldn’t compare with that of animals like bulls.

Thinking about it...

Cows should be in the same category as animals, right?

And no matter what,

These weren’t just any ordinary herd of cows; even the smallest heifer was at least three times larger than those outside.

Just as the two were about to make a desperate attempt,

They turned around to see Kuku sparring with the dairy cow.

They spotted him immediately,

Not just because the dairy cow was charging the fastest and most fiercely, but mainly because the naked Kuku had a remarkably high recognition rate.

Hmm?

What a strategy, coiling like old tree roots, so there’s this way to restrain dairy cows?

"Didn’t see that coming, the kid’s still got some brains."

"Indeed, the huge size of these big-horned dairy cows is their advantage, and yet, they seem to have no good way to restrain the intruder coiled under their bellies."

"Jack, this, this Kuku is holding onto what seems like a bull..."

Xiao Ya was dumbfounded.

Jack, after getting a clear look at the details, was also shaken to the core, his worldview shattered.

"Let’s forget about this for now and find a dairy cow to grapple with, and make sure to get the gender right!"

...

Jiang Xiao, squatting, was staring blankly at Fishing Man.

Mu Xitang and the three other saps, along with two dairy cows, were spectating from a distance.

Intuition told them that this uncle who appeared on the bridge in the middle of the night was no ordinary character.

He was probably the tough barrier blocking their way to the town!

Jiang Xiao pointed at the uncle, asking confusedly.

Jiang Xiao: o(o･`з･´o)☛

"What the heck are you doing?"

"Oh God, if your eyes aren’t on your butt, you should be able to see I’m fishing."

The blond, blue-eyed uncle seemed somewhat speechless; he was sitting at the bridge with a fishing rod in the middle of the night, what else could he be doing?

"What are you fishing for?"

"Catfish."

"Why catfish?"

"Because Jesus once said that fishing is hard, catfish fishing is even harder, and I like to do things that are more challenging."

Fishing Man, huh...

Jiang Xiao became interested, sat down beside the man, and even spun the bottle of vodka the man had brought over.

He prided himself on being outgoing~

If the uncle wanted to deal with him, Fishing Man, come and get hooked.

This simpleton was hand-delivering himself, so it was only fair to send him to meet God.

But the uncle’s intuition told him that this brainless-looking man in front of him wasn’t someone to be trifled with.

A cold evening breeze swept by.

The four people nearby shrank their heads from the cold.

The dairy cows were also pacing restlessly.

Night.

At this moment, it seemed to become even more silent and dark.

Jiang Xiao was savoring the vodka bottles one after another, shamelessly opening another one.

"If you want to fish, why don’t you do it during the day?"

The uncle snorted.

"Because there are too many people during the day, and I want to catch the big catfish. During the day, there would be a lot of charity people escorting her."

"So, you have to catch the catfish?"

"Of course, the spot I chose is second to none. Fat catfish love to move at night, but she’s cunning, occasionally blows bubbles to taunt me and then immediately dives deep into the water to hide."

"So you’re still fishing for her? I suggest you could change to something else, like trying for two-faced turtle fish or something."

"Heh, what’s so special about two-faced turtles? Catfish not only pride themselves on being noble, but they are also social animals. If you manage to catch one, you often pull out a lot more along with the muck..."

The uncle looked at the slightly naive man in front of him and ultimately resisted the urge to make a move.

Never mind.

He felt his luck wasn’t good today, having forgotten to cast a fortune before leaving, so he decided not to act tonight.

Moreover, judging by the man’s performance of flaunting two bottles of vodka in a mere minute without turning a hair or catching his breath,

He must have had some tricks up his sleeve.

Jiang Xiao hadn’t noticed the change in the uncle’s expression; he only cared about the catfish matters.

"Why don’t you get yourself a water pump or something to drain the river? Then you could catch all sorts of fish."

It seemed Jiang Xiao’s words struck a chord.

The Fishing Man looked startled at first, then a rare smile crossed his face, albeit tinged with helplessness.

"Can you see where this river ends?"

Jiang Xiao’s eyes gleamed as he looked up into the distance.

"No way, dude. I can only see as far as that crooked tree 1,500 meters away—and even that’s not the river’s source yet."

Damn!

He can see up to 1,500 meters?

The hint of surprise on the Fishing Man’s face grew thicker.

If the kid wasn’t blowing smoke, that was some seriously terrifying eyesight.

After all, there’s always mist around the river at night...

"If you can’t see the end, that’s expected because this river connects to the Arctic. The catfish family might have already left this area a while back, haha. Plus, there are many kind-hearted people escorting them along the way, so..."

"So you’re going home empty-handed today!"

Uh...

The uncle’s forehead throbbed uncontrollably.

Empty-handed be damned!

Did you have to spell it out?

Does that make you happy?

Not saying it is the greatest respect to a fisherman!

Fueled by that comment, the uncle decided he’d have to find something to bring back and indulge in some meat later.

"Forget it, get out of here! Don’t interrupt my fishing!"

He shuffled his stool around.

Making way for Jiang Xiao and his company to pass.

Without ceremony, Jiang Xiao lifted the uncle along with his stool off the wooden bridge.

"Sorry, man, I’ve got cattle and this path you’ve cleared isn’t wide enough."

"Moo~"

Da Zhuang and Da Hua mooed in agreement, affirming their presence.

Eh.

Now that they’d left the ranch behind,

the two resigned themselves to their fate and decided to stick with this shameless man to the end.

Jiang Xiao: (๑･`з･´๑)"Hydrangea vines so supple and smooth—hey brother, Hallelujah~♬"

...

Watching Jiang Xiao hoist a shovel and hum away without looking back,

a peculiar feeling suddenly surged into the uncle’s heart.

This kid,

perhaps he could bring a bit of a surprise to the town?

Little pink-haired Kuku and the big wronged Jack hurried along to keep up with Jiang Xiao’s pace.

...

Just as the uncle settled back onto the bridge with his stool, his face turned green in an instant.

"Effing hell! That thieving brat! You’d better pray to Holy Mother Marilyn that I don’t run into you again, otherwise I’ll cook you like that damned catfish—fry, boil, sauté, grill—I swear I’ll do it all! Oh my God, I swear I will!"

What incredible thieving technique?

He hadn’t seen any special moves, had he?

His entire box of high-proof vodka was gone, not to mention the late-night pizza and snack chocolates from the basket were also swiped!

Taking food was one thing.

That’s understandable.

But he also looted the lighter and bait used for lighting? What the hell for?

Now the box was stark empty.

Had the basket not been so large and fixed to the bridge, making it hard to carry, he was almost certain that kid would have taken the basket as well!

Infuriating!

How could he now enjoy his blissful night-long fishing here?

Thinking of this,

the uncle unleashed another burst of national exasperation in the direction Jiang Xiao had departed.

...

"Daddy, was that fishing uncle calling out to us just now? I thought I heard someone yelling."

"No, you heard wrong. Hey, want some chocolate?"

"I want chocolate! Xi Tang wants chocolate!"

The little pet’s eagerness for chocolate distracted her from the faint shouting behind them.

"Bro Jiang Xiao, where did this chocolate come from?"

Curly swallowed and felt quiveringly envious.

"Oh, are you asking about this pizza?"

Jiang Xiao casually pulled out a fully-loaded pizza and started munching.

"Erm, and where did the pizza come from?"

"Huh? How did you know I had vodka?"

Jiang Xiao produced a bottle of premium vodka from his bag and poured himself a drink.

Start with a high note!

What the heck?

Curly: =͟͟͞͞(꒪ᗜ꒪‧̣̥̇)

Bearded Jack: =͟͟͞͞(Ŏ◊Ŏ‧̣̥̇)

Black-haired Park Renmeng: (*ﾟﾛﾟ)!!

All three: Are you for real not planning to act human today?!

You’ve already had milk, snacks, and pizza, which is outrageous enough as a main dish.

And now you’ve got vodka too?

Watching the live stream before, they would exclaim how Jiang Xiao Yi made the creepy Kaidan a solo vacation mod in heaven.

But having experienced it firsthand,

they could feel even more the psychological impact his abnormal moves had on other chosen ones!

Envy was driving them nuts.

"We’ll be reaching the town soon. You guys can have some milk too."

Without looking back at the three following him, Jiang Xiao continued feeding his pink-haired gold-swallowing beast with pizza.

"Ah?"

"We can have milk?"

"Are you talking about us, Bro Jiang Xiao?"

Happiness struck so unexpectedly that they hardly dared to believe it.

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