How I became the Empress of Hell
3.82: Demon’s Remorse

After Gehenna finished her retelling of the events that transpired while I was trapped in the nightmare, Emelia joined us and we both told her everything that had happened after she was teleported to Gehenna's castle. Unlike the previous times where I lost control, the more I thought about what Allexus had just experienced, the more clear it became in my mind. I talked with both of my lovers about ways to apologize to the others, and then the two of them gave me some much needed “stress relief.” After we returned to the clan castle, I asked several of my clan members to join me in my throne room so I could put my apology plan into action.

“So… let me get this straight. You want me to trap you in a dream so Lady Stabby McMurderkill can apologize to everyone? And then you want me to try and find a way for you to talk with your sadistic alter ego?”

I gave Ikelos a sheepish grin and nodded my head slowly.

“Yeah, pretty much. You have my word Allexus will behave, plus… in the event she doesn't… Gehenna will be there. Just… make sure this one isn't super terrifying. Like… a C-grade horror flick or something.”

He drummed his clawed fingers on his chin for a moment before glancing at the Dark Pixie who was busy scowling at me from her perch on his shoulder. She looked up at him and after a moment she nodded and they both turned back towards me.

“I have a few stipulations if I'm gonna do this.”

I did my best to avoid scowling and gave him an inquisitive look.

“Stipulations?”

“Last time I used this on you I ended up on the receiving end of one of my worst fears. Your evil half owes me for that. I may be the one who trapped you in a nightmare, but that doesn't justify what she did. So… yes… I have stipulations.”

I sighed and nodded my head.

“OK. Fair enough. But just to be clear, I'm not sleeping with you.”

“I wasn't gonna–” 

I narrowed my eyes before giving him a deadpan stare. After a moment he held up his hands in surrender.

“Yeah, no… that's fair. So… If I'm gonna do this, I reserve the right to make your dream realm whatever I want it to be. I promise it will not be scary or traumatic in the slightest. And no… I won't make you have sex with me in a dream either. Not only does that go against what you just said, but it also does absolutely nothing for me since you will be the only person that experiences this. Unless you count your evil twin as a separate person.”

I considered what he said for a moment and then nodded, before turning to the other people in the room.

“Hana, Tessa, Gehenna, and Areandra. First off… We need to talk about the fact that almost half the clan has a name that ends with an A. From now on, I want to make it clear going forward we will not be recruiting anyone with A-ending names, yeah? Talking to you too, Ms. Author!! OK, with that out of the way, I asked you guys to join me here so you can help Ikelos figure out how to make it so I can talk with Allexus. She and I have been at odds long enough, and what happened earlier today can't happen again. Do you guys think it's possible to do something like that?”

Hana looked at the others in the room before settling her gaze back on me.

“I believe I have a couple ideas for how to make it work. You were smart asking Tessa to join us. Her expertise with mind magic is exactly what we'll need.”

The aforementioned Demonspawn smiled at the obvious compliment and nodded her approval.

“I can think of a couple of spells that Ikelos and I can use to pull off what you're wanting. While your other half makes the rounds with her apologies, I'll discuss some of my ideas with the others and see if we can't come up with something.”

I grinned warmly at her before looking down at Areandra.

“Sabrina… I hope you don't feel like I'm using you solely for your enchanting buff. I appreciate your enchanting knowledge and the unique perspective you have as the only person in our clan who isn't a demon or Demonspawn.”

“It's all good, Allie. I enjoy helping out. Plus I figured out that I gain shitloads of XP whenever someone uses my buff to cast powerful enchantments. I gained like 35 levels after we changed your [Bond of Corruption] and gave Em her new form. So… I'm more than happy to let you use my buff as much as you want.”

“Awesome. OK…”

I glanced at the group assembled to the right of the others and pursed my lips slightly. I had asked these particular clan members to join us since it was them Allexus would be apologizing to. Tesrif, Jade, Tifa, Shadow, and Nialla looked up at me with curious expressions.

“As for the rest of you… I take it you all understand why you are here?”

They each nodded or gave some verbal form of confirmation as Nialla caught my eye with an intense stare.

“Can you and I talk after everything? I promise it's nothing bad.”

“Of course, kitten. Alright… Does anyone have any lingering questions, comments, or concerns?”

I glanced at each of them for a moment. They all shook their heads and I focused my attention on Ikelos.

“Alright… let's do this thing.”

—

I quickly sifted through the memories of what Allie and her clanmates discussed and then slowly opened my eyes. As I focused on the person standing in front of me, he took a step back. I could see the look of trepidation on his face and I held up my hands in a placating gesture.

“Hey, no reason to worry, Ikelos. What Allie said is true. Well… mostly.”

He cocked an eyebrow and Lucifer fluttered off his shoulder and stared daggers at me.

“Unlike Allie, I'm not opposed to having sex with you. Your form is equal parts beautiful and deadly.”

He scoffed loudly and shook his head.

“Hard pass. I'm not in the habit of sleeping with someone who tortured me. Well… not in the fun way, I mean.”

I let out a long resigned sigh and nodded my head slowly.

“I know it amounts to fuck all, but I'm truly sorry, Ikelos. I… obviously have some things to work through. I promise I will find a way to make it up to you.”

An idea popped into my head and I quickly turned towards Hana.

“Hana, are you able to get me some sort of enchanted paper and something to write with?” 

The demon woman crossed her arms over her chest and stared at me silently for a moment before flicking a single finger. A piece of paper with the drawing of a hand holding up a middle finger appeared in my hand and I looked from it back to Hana. I fought back the anger and the urge to retaliate against such obvious disrespect, and instead closed my eyes and took several deep breaths. After counting to 100 in my head, I opened my eyes and exhaled loudly, before looking back at Hana. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Gehenna's body visibly relax and take a less defensive posture. I ignored that and did my best to sound as happy and calm as I was able.

“Hana, I know I owe you an apology, and I have every intention of giving you one and finding a way to make up for how I acted towards you. For now, can you please help me with this?” 

She stared at me for half a moment before nodding her head slightly. She flicked her finger again and a piece of paper and a pen appeared in my hand. I quickly scribbled down what I had in mind and handed it to Ikelos. He read it carefully several times before looking back up at me.

“An I.O.U. for any one favor with absolutely no restrictions? Interesting… OK… It's a start. You're still on my shitlist, but at least you aren't on the bottom.”

I blinked my eyes several times in quick succession as I thought about the best response. Remorse could easily lead to misplaced anger, and I had already proven that I was terrible at best when it came to dealing with my short temper. I forced a smile on my lips and nodded my head.

“I'll take it. Thank you for giving me a chance.”

I focused my attention on Hana and considered everything I knew about her. I knew that she and Allie were growing rather fond of one another, and I could clearly remember all the instances of the two of them “increasing her efficiency.” A wide grin spread across my face as I figured out exactly what to do. I opened my minion menu and selected her portrait, I visualized her appearing directly in front of me and waved my hand. Her body flickered several times but instead of disappearing she solidified after a few seconds and remained standing where she was. She glared at me and crossed her arms again.

Every instinct I had was telling me to show this bitch exactly what her defiance would earn her… but I forced aside the seething rage I was feeling and did my absolute best to remain calm. My expression must have given away exactly what I was thinking, however, as I felt a surge of magic coming from Gehenna as she began to channel a spell. I took several steps back and held up my hands in a placating gesture as I looked at everyone.

“OK, I want you all to hear me. I suck at apologies, and guilt, and showing any kind of emotion that could be considered weakness. I'm not using that as an excuse to not do it, I'm just saying I want you all to know that this is very, very difficult for me… But I'm trying. I understand that I fucked up, OK? And you all have every right to be angry with me… But please at least give me a chance to make it up to each of you.”

A collective sigh went around the room, followed by murmurs of agreement. I smiled warmly at each of them before looking back at Hana. I calmly walked over to her until I was standing a few feet away.

“Hana, may I move closer to you?”

She nodded and I moved so that I was less than a foot away and looked down into her eyes.

“May I hug you?”

She nodded again and I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close to me. The smell of her hair was a combination of scents that sent my head spinning slightly. She craned her neck to look up at me and I bent down and moved my mouth so that it was less than an inch away from her ear. She shivered involuntarily as my lips brushed against her skin. I kept my voice so low that even those with demonic hearing would have difficulty making out what I was saying.

“I'm sorry for the way I treated you during our fight. I promise it will never happen again, and I will do whatever is necessary to make it up to you. To that end… I will be increasing the frequency of ‘increasing your efficiency’ to several times a day until you feel I've earned your forgiveness. Sound good?”

Hana's cheeks burned a bright red and her eyes went wide as she slowly nodded her head. I grinned slightly as I started to pull away before moving back and speaking in a breathy voice.

“Good girl. Now then… kiss me to make it official.”

Her lips sought mine almost instantly and she melted into me as I pushed my tongue into her mouth. I pulled away when she let out a low moan and she ended our kiss by biting my lower lip playfully. She smirked at me as she spoke in a breathy whisper.

“After Allie and Nialla finish, you can start the process of ‘apologizing’ to me. Yes?”

I grinned at her, showing my fangs.

“Add it to my itinerary.”

She nodded and I released her and took a step back. I looked around at the others, who had been watching my interaction with Hana. I walked across the room until I stood in front of Tifa and Jade. I clasped hands with both of them and just said the first thing that popped into my mind.

“I'm sorry for being an absolute bitch and doing what I did with the blood thing. In order to make it up to you… The three of us, my throne room, and a variation of what we did last time?”

They looked at each other for a moment and then back up at me. Jade had a wicked grin on her face as she spoke.

“Yes, yes, and yes with a slight modification. This time Tifa and I will be dominating you.”

A low growl emanated from my throat as I thought about submitting to two inferior demons and I was just about to tell them exactly where they could shove that stupid idea when I remembered what I was supposed to be doing. I gave them a sheepish grin and grit my teeth in an attempt to curb my anger.

“Sorry, sorry! Habit... OK. I accept your terms.”

They both nodded and I released their hands and moved in front of Tesrif. Before I could even say anything she held up her hand to get me to wait.

“An apology is unnecessary, Lady Allexus. I took no offense and I find no fault with the actions taken against me. I know, however, that your human side will likely not accept that answer, so in lieu of an apology, may I make a request?”

I smiled at her words and nodded. Her look of fierce determination wavered and she started to blush profusely. She glanced down at the person standing next to her and he looked up at her and silently nodded his head. I turned towards Shadow as he took a step closer and focused on me.

“Demon Goddess of Death, I too do not require any sort of recompense. I understand killing comes naturally to one who is so proficient in dealing death, and I am no stranger to giving in to one's darker impulses. What my Blue-haired Goddess is struggling to say is that we would like to begin the process of courting one another, and would ask for your blessing to do so.”

I found my reaction to be remarkably similar to Allie's as I recalled her last conversation with Tesrif. I did my best to avoid laughing and kept a solemn expression on my face as I spoke.

“I have no objections, and I'm confident that Allie doesn't either… but… you don't need my permission or blessing for that. You're both consenting adults so… If you guys are into each other, go for it!”

Tesrif's embarrassment seemed to lessen, but as she spoke I could still hear a slight tremble in her voice.

“I felt obligated to obtain your permission, my lady, since I have dedicated my life to serving you.”

I grinned as I recognized the display of subservience and gave the tall warrior woman an approving nod.

“In that case, as long as it doesn't interfere with your duties to me, I officially permit you to pursue any relationship you desire, romantic or otherwise.”

Tesrif beamed at me before reaching down and scooping Shadow up and hugging him tightly. She let out a girlish squeal of excitement before Shadow pulled off his mask and the two of them shared a sweet gentle kiss that soon became anything but chaste. After a moment the two pulled away and she set the much smaller man down on his feet. She gave me a dopey grin and nodded wordlessly at me. I couldn't fight the laughter from the absolutely adorable display of affection and I heard the others chuckling as well. After the room quieted, I turned to face the four I had just spoken to.

“Thank you for giving me the chance to apologize and hopefully begin the process of making it up to you. You're welcome to hang out if you wish, but otherwise you guys are free to go whenever.”

Tifa and Jade moved up to me and surprised me by hugging me tightly, while Tesrif and Shadow excused themselves and exited the room with obvious excitement. After the door closed behind the two demon women, I walked slowly over to Nialla. She looked up at me with curiosity and I watched as her tail began slowly swaying back and forth.

“Nialla… where do I start?”

Before I could finish that thought, the tall catgirl narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms.

“With an apology for being a twatwaffle and treating me like shit. I get this is a game, and I know you're a fucking demon, but you don't get to treat me like that and expect me to be OK with it. Like it or not, I'm in love with the human part of you. Hana explained that somehow you're a different person, which honestly makes no fucking sense if I think about it too hard, but you are still a reflection of the woman I love. Even if you don't feel the same way about me as she does, you at least have to recognize that you and I still have a connection. So for you to do what you did, Allexus… that fucking hurt. And before you say anything about not holding any resentment towards Allie, let me assure you that I don't. I consider you solely responsible for your actions. I expect you to truly apologize and to go above and beyond to make it up to me. You owe me big time, Allexus.”

She inhaled deeply before letting out a long dramatic sigh.

“OK. That's it. I said my piece. Your turn.”

I stared down at her for what felt like a full minute in silence as I contemplated how to reply. I was taken aback by her words and couldn't deny that what she said made sense. I had gone out of my way to cause her physical pain and said something I knew would upset her. She was right that I didn't feel the same way about her as my human half did, but I could still feel how strongly Allie loved her and how protective she was over the younger woman. I had used the knowledge I had of that relationship and lied to her, telling her that I could see that Allie would never love her as much as she loved the others. I had seen how badly those words cut her far more than my weapons had. I knew that I very likely may have caused irreparable harm to her relationship with Allie, and the guilt from that alone was enough to really feel the impact of what she had said.

“I cannot express how sorry I am, Noelle. What I did was truly despicable, and I understand if you can't forgive me. I know you said you don't hold it against Allie, but I want to be incredibly clear about something. What I said to you couldn't be further from the truth. Allie loves you so much that it truly hurts her that she may never be able to legally marry you. She would do anything to change that. She even started looking up ways to have a sort of unofficial wedding ceremony that involves you and Emily. She loves you so fucking much, Noelle. And she would do anything to prove that to you.”

I could see Nialla fighting back tears and I couldn't stop myself from reaching out and grabbing her. I pulled her into me tightly and just held her close. As she looked up at me I gave her a warm, reassuring smile and kissed her forehead.

“I think I may have a way to start making up for what I did, but I need to get something for it first. In the meantime… know that I will never stop protecting you. I will die a thousand times before I let anything happen to you.”

“You don't need to protect me, Allexus. I'm a big girl, and I can take care of myself. I'm not the second highest level player in the game for nothing. All you need to do is have my back and help me get even stronger so we can take on the world together.”

I nodded my head and grinned at her, and she returned the gesture with a fanged smile of her own. I hugged her again tightly and this time I felt her hug me back. After releasing her and pulling away, she walked slowly out of the throne room without another word. I walked over to the others still in the room and they turned towards me as I approached. After glancing at the others briefly, Hana was the first to speak.

“I think we have a way to do this. Do you want me to explain it to you or should we just get started?”

Allie and I both share an inquisitive nature, so naturally I chose to hear all the details I could.

“Ikelos is going to put you in a separate dream state, and then he and Tessa think that with significant buffs to his hex magic and her mind magic, they will be able to merge the two dreams together. The reason it is so difficult is that normally the spell sustains itself by feeding on the fear from those trapped by it and growing stronger the more one resists. By having two minds, even ones that are reflections of one another, in the same space, it significantly weakens the effect. Add to that that you and Allie don't want to be subjected to the actual fear effects, and it makes the entire thing much harder. They think with a combination of their unique magics they have a way to allow the spell to sustain itself.”

I ran through everything she said in my mind and then repeated it back as I understood it. After confirming that I had everything pretty much down, she asked if I had any questions.

“How do we end the effects if it's self-sustaining? Is there a time limit or are you guys just going to pull us out after a set amount of time?”

“The effects of the spell will end and you'll both awaken after you both willingly choose to end everything.”

I nodded my head and Hana waved her hand. The bed that was normally in the “Lesbian Orgy Room” appeared next to us and I stifled the urge to make a snide remark. Hana walked next to me as I moved to the side of the enormous bed and after mentally preparing myself I climbed onto it and eased my head back against the mound of pillows. The others joined Hana at my side and Ikelos held up his hand. After confirming I was ready, his fingers began to glow with an ethereal green luminescence and I felt the effects take hold as I lost consciousness.

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