Hospital 444
Chapter 126 - 3 Diary

Chapter 126: Chapter 3 Diary

Upon hearing her nephew’s question, Yun Ran’s heart immediately tightened.

"Auntie, I asked our bilingual kindergarten foreign teacher, and she insisted, ’Your dad is definitely in Heaven now, the place where God lives.’ Teachers wouldn’t lie to us, right?"

"Yunyi, mm, Heaven, of course it exists..." Jin Yunran replied without hesitation: "Your dad is surely in Heaven now."

Jin Yunran was relieved because her nephew was so young that her sister had insisted on waiting until he was in school before getting him a mobile phone, so he hardly ever used a search engine. Considering her sister’s family celebrated Western holidays quite frequently—Thanksgiving, Easter, Christmas—it was not surprising he believed in God and Heaven.

At the dinner table, because of Yuyi Gao’s question, the atmosphere suddenly became a bit heavy.

"Alright, Yunyi, eat your food..." Yun Lan immediately picked a piece of broccoli for her son.

"I don’t like this..." Yunyi frowned at the sight of the broccoli in his bowl, but after glancing at his mother’s eyes, he said no more and just picked up his bowl, chewing in silence.

"This kid just doesn’t like vegetables," sighed Yun Lan, telling Jin Yunran, "That’s the only thing he has in common with me when I was young, everything else, he’s like you."

"Yunyi, you can’t be picky with food," Jin Yunran also wanted to divert from the "Heaven" topic quickly and picked some broccoli for her nephew.

Because of serving the food, Jin Yunran leaned close to Yunyi and suddenly, the child whispered in a voice only she could hear, "Auntie, will dad, will he come back from Heaven to see us?"

Upon hearing this, Jin Yunran’s chopsticks abruptly stopped, and the broccoli nearly fell onto the table.

She instinctively wanted to say "Yes," but she knew this was not a question that could be easily dismissed.

If she said "Yes," what would happen if her nephew took it seriously? One can’t just say anything because the other person is a child and assume they won’t take it to heart.

"That would be very difficult. Once someone goes to Heaven, it’s hard for them to come back."

After saying this, Jin Yunran clearly saw the desolation in Yunyi’s eyes.

She could well understand the child’s feelings at the moment.

She and her sister had already passed the age of believing in the existence of Heaven when they lost their parents.

Jin Yunran thought, once the child goes to school, he would soon learn that there is no Heaven; when people die, they die, and there is no soul left behind.

After dinner, Alan went to wash the dishes, Yunyi went to watch TV, and Yun Lan took Yun Ran up to the room she had arranged for her on the second floor.

Entering the room, Yun Lan sat on the bed in the bedroom and stared blankly at Jin Yunran.

"Yun Ran... I still don’t have any sense of reality. It always feels like Qishu hasn’t left, like he is still here with us."

"Sister," Jin Yunran immediately went over and hugged her sister, "everything will pass."

"I mean it..." Yun Lan, however, pushed Yun Ran away and said, "I don’t feel any bit of reality at all, as if everything is just a nightmare. I feel as though Qishu is still in this villa, living with me and Yunyi."

"Sis, don’t be like this..." Jin Yunran feared this the most, "I understand how you feel, but if you’re like this, brother-in-law won’t be able to leave in peace."

"You say that too... Everyone says that to me..." Yun Lan shook her head desperately: "Everyone says the same thing to me, that he was a good person, that he will go to heaven, become a star in the sky watching over me, rest in peace in the underworld... These words, I don’t find them comforting at all. If he can be in Heaven or resting in peace below, why can’t he be by my side?"

Jin Yunran wanted to argue, but then she thought that perhaps it was better to agree with her sister for now. Otherwise, it could be disastrous if she really followed Qishu to "Heaven."

"You’re right... Sister. Brother-in-law wouldn’t easily let go of you, maybe... he’s right by your side and Yunyi’s, watching over you two."

Saying these somewhat chilling words, Jin Yunran only hoped her sister wouldn’t entertain any bad thoughts.

"Yun Ran, can I ask you a favor?" Yun Lan asked earnestly, grasping Jin Yunran’s hands, "Qishu’s belongings, most of them have been put in his study. I... I’d like you to help me sort through his belongings. I, I can’t bear to go there again..."

Jin Yunran naturally understood her sister’s emotions; under such circumstances, she would definitely be reminded of the painful memories.

"To sort... but, I don’t know how to deal with brother-in-law’s things, he was a bestselling author, perhaps even a scrap of draft could be valuable."

"His editor had already been here, and the manuscripts he had written and stored in the computer were all copied and taken away; there’s nothing else of importance left."

"Then... okay."

And then...

The sisters fell silent for a moment.

"Lately, I feel like my memory is getting worse," Yun Lan said, playing with her hair. "Ever since Qishu left us, I often find myself reminiscing about the past, but now, looking back, everything seems like it happened a century ago. Yun Ran, if only I were as capable as you. So young, and yet you’ve become a renowned designer."

"Sister..."

"Mom and Dad always loved you more. Sometimes I even think their favoritism is excessive."

Listening to her sister, Jin Yunran felt increasingly worried. Could her sister be suffering from depression?

"Mom and Dad favored me because I was a bit frail when I was born, so they paid more attention to me, not because they think any less of you," she explained.

"Yun Ran."

Suddenly, Yun Lan looked up at the ceiling.

"I’ve realized recently that I’m really envious of you," she confessed.

Jin Yunran was taken aback.

"When our parents died, you took on so much of the funeral arrangements yourself, while I just hid away and cried. I didn’t dare face our parents’ portraits. In TV shows, losing one’s parents is a common plot, but only when you really lose them do you understand it’s not as easy as they make it seem. At that time, relatives said behind our backs that you were more like the eldest daughter of the Jin family."

Jin Yunran didn’t know what her sister was trying to say.

This didn’t sound like a case of "memory getting worse."

Suddenly, she stared intently at Jin Yunran.

"Having you by my side is what puts me at ease, Yun Ran," she said.

"Yes," Jin Yunran nodded firmly. "I’ll always be by your side, sister."

...

The villa was too big.

Jin Yunran found herself in the study room in the northeast corner of the villa, on the third floor.

This was where her brother-in-law used to work daily.

The study was about sixty square meters, with shelves full of closely-packed books, a significant portion of which were novels published under the pen name Abyss Blue Whale by her brother-in-law.

Over two-thirds of her brother-in-law’s works were set in Western countries. After earning a hefty sum in royalties, he began to travel the world.

Norway, Iceland, Greece, Egypt, Romania, Vienna, Poland... Her sister often shared with her the places she and her brother-in-law had visited. Over the years since her marriage, Yun Lan’s social network could have formed a world travel guidebook.

Jin Yunran’s hand rose slightly, caressing the spine of each novel written by her brother-in-law. The vampire of the Bavarian principality, the gladiator of the Roman Colosseum, the Inca Empire during the Spanish colonization, the mummy’s curse of Ramses II in ancient Egypt... she had read every one of these books without fail.

Moreover, she had purchased all subsequent editions of these books after their first publication and filled her home’s bookshelves with them.

She pulled open a drawer beneath the bookshelf...

Inside were diaries written by her brother-in-law.

She didn’t know when he started the habit, but for many years, he had written in his diary every day without fail. Yun Lan herself had told Jin Yunran that even if nothing particularly special happened that day, her brother-in-law would definitely write a diary entry before going to bed.

She picked up the last diary.

The police had taken the diaries for investigation, but they hadn’t found anything and returned them. Her brother-in-law’s parents must have looked through them too, but also without any discoveries.

Was this considered part of her brother-in-law’s belongings that she had to sort out?

Suddenly, she had a thought she shouldn’t have had.

Her brother-in-law had died...

Could she, perhaps, read through his diaries?