Happy Little Farmer
Chapter 24 - 24 24 The Silver Bludgeon Head

24: Chapter 24 The Silver Bludgeon Head 24: Chapter 24 The Silver Bludgeon Head Shen Lin’s house was that typical kind of place that looked mundane from the outside, the architecture still dating back to two or three decades ago, but the interior could be described as splendid.

All the furniture was made of solid wood, and he had even pretended to be a cultured man, placing a big fish tank by the entrance and a Curio shelf next to it, filled with bottles and jars of all sorts.

As for what they actually were or their purpose, probably only Shen Lin himself knew.

In any case, he had put up a solid front.

However, his front wasn’t looking so good at this moment.

The drunken Shen Lin, his old face flushed black and red, lay sprawled face-down on the gleaming floor of his home while Zhou Wenhui, who had scared Yang Fan and Ye Tong, was using her foot to give Shen Lin’s face a massage, rubbing it back and forth with a sizzling sound.

Seeing Yang Fan and Ye Tong suddenly rush into the room, Zhou Wenhui let out a low chuckle and waved her wrist, saying, “You two came just in time, hurry up, give him a couple of kicks each, let off some steam first.”

“Little Mother, what are you doing?” Ye Tong asked nervously.

Zhou Wenhui pointed disdainfully at the haphazardly placed wine bottles on the table and said, “This old thing actually tried to get me drunk and take advantage of me, thinking I’m some sheltered lady who has stayed behind doors for years?

I’ve been through more drinking parties than he ever has.”

“With just a few flattering words, this old thing was floating so high he didn’t know east from west, suddenly feeling like he was the unrivaled drinker, able to hold a thousand cups without getting drunk.

But look at him now, not even one jin in and he’s turned into this wretched state.”

“He wanted to take my advantage, I let him have a good taste, let him suck on my foot all he wants!”

Yang Fan grimaced; no matter how delicate and lovely Little Mother’s feet were, the taste was probably quite potent.

“Come on, each of you give him a kick first!” As Zhou Wenhui called over Yang Fan and Ye Tong, she flipped Shen Lin’s upper lip with her big toe and started to noisily brush his teeth with it.

“Aiyah, Little Mother, this is too disgusting, let’s get out of here,” Yang Fan said, grimacing.

There was no need for this kind of advantage; in any case, Yang Fan didn’t want to be part of it.

Even though it would let off some steam, it wouldn’t solve anything fundamentally and would just leave him feeling uncomfortable.

“You’re just too fastidious.

It’s him who’s the disgusting one, not you, it’s just venting,” Zhou Wenhui retorted as Yang Fan showed reluctance, rolling her eyes and muttering, “Xiao Tong, you come over, forget about Fanzi, this ungrateful deadbeat.”

Ye Tong shook her head repeatedly.

She was quite resistant to the idea as well.

“Little Mother, I think by doing this… he’s pretty much taken his advantage,” Ye Tong said weakly.

Zhou Wenhui was taken aback, “How can this be considered taking advantage?

How can making him disgusted count as an advantage?”

“I heard a woman’s feet and those two places are the same, all considered private, what you’re doing… um… seems like,” Ye Tong stammered, her words trailing off as she ended up with a flushed face.

Zhou Wenhui rolled her eyes, “What kind of feudal superstition is that from the old times, I’m just grossing him out.”

Even as she argued back, she swiftly withdrew her foot and slipped on her shoes.

“Let’s go, let’s go, you two are birds of a feather, my perfectly fine mood is now all over the place because of you,” Zhou Wenhui waved her hand and, while swinging her plump buttocks on her way out, she spoke with displeasure.

Ye Tong stealthily glanced at Yang Fan, sticking out her tongue a little mischievously.

Yang Fan’s heart suddenly raced at her action.

“Sister-in-law is willing to make such a face for me, it looks like the incident before has really passed,” he thought.

As soon as they got home, Zhou Wenhui dove straight into the bathroom, and soon after, the sound of rushing water came from inside.

Ye Tong, unable to contain her amusement, whispered in Yang Fan’s ear, “She’s washing her feet.”

“Sister-in-law, I feel like what you said earlier might have really left a psychological shadow on Little Mother,” Yang Fan said with a low chuckle.

Ye Tong’s expression stiffened slightly and she said somewhat regretfully, “Did I really speak out of turn?”

“Maybe.

I’m just guessing.

Anyway, Little Mother doesn’t take things too hard, maybe she won’t think that way,” Yang Fan replied.

Self-reproachfully, Ye Tong said, “It seems my mouth is a bit redundant as well.”

The sound of water in the bathroom stopped, and Zhou Wenhui came out barefoot, holding a pair of Yang Fan’s underwear he had taken off, “Fanzi, next time can you not put your ‘legacy-preserving’ shorts in the laundry basket?

Didn’t I leave a box specifically for you?

Put them in there.”

“Do you know if your thing gets on my or your sister-in-law’s underwear, there’s a certain chance of getting pregnant?

What if a child is born, who would it belong to?

Impregnation with no physical contact, how awkward would that be?”

Yang Fan was truly embarrassed, “Little Mother, what are you looking at?

Where are the ‘ten thousand descendants’?”

“If it isn’t ‘ten thousand descendants’, why is this thing wet?” Zhou Wenhui asked with a stern look.

Yang Fan gave a cough, touched his nose, and muttered softly, “How am I supposed to explain this to you?”

“Just tell it straight, your sister-in-law and I are the ones who wash it; what can’t you say?

We may not have eaten pork but that doesn’t mean we haven’t seen a pig run,” Zhou Wenhui said with annoyance, clearly finding it distasteful, “Remember next time, don’t throw it carelessly.”

Yang Fan instantly felt like he was nailed to the pillar of shame, left without a place to defend himself.

But this was a blame he was unwilling to accept.

Zhou Wenhui already had some misunderstandings about him; if this fact was to be confirmed, even his sister-in-law might think he did nothing all day but ‘shoot into the sky’ for fun.

“It’s really not that.

Since you’ve seen pigs run, you should know that men, when they’re emotionally aroused, can also…

well, wet their clothes.

It’s not much, but it happens,” Yang Fan explained with less than full confidence.

This pair of underwear had been taken off previously.

His sister-in-law’s stimulating remarks almost made him bleed, and he couldn’t wear the underwear anymore.

“There’s such a thing?” Zhou Wenhui asked doubtfully, “Fanzi, are you not quite normal?

Is this hereditary, this thing about getting clothes wet when emotions are high?

You’re getting mixed up.”

Yang Fan immediately grimaced.

How could the conversation get more absurd!

“Little Mother, don’t make it sound so scary.

Does my body look like one that would have that problem?

This is normal!” Yang Fan said with an embarrassed face as he desperately tried to explain.

Zhou Wenhui curled the corner of her mouth, glanced at Yang Fan’s waist, shook her head, and said, “It’s hard to say, what if you look tough but are actually ‘silver-gun-head’—this kind of thing isn’t entirely directly related to whether your body is strong or not.”

Yang Fan was so depressed he was close to a heart attack; what was all this nonsense!

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