From Goblin Slave To Giga-Daddy: A Goblin's Guide to Getting a Harem
Chapter 59: Plans For the Ice Queen!

Chapter 59: Plans For the Ice Queen!

"Bitch, you’re dead already!"

The goblin snarled, lunging at Rae with the fury of a beast unchained.

Darkness pulsed on his hand—jagged and violet, like condensed hate.

It sliced through the air, inches from Rae’s face.

And then—

"You only got one ball... Shut it before I smash your other one too..."

Rae blurted, eyes wide in panic.

?!

The words escaped before he even knew what was happening.

And the goblin froze mid-attack, his clawed hand trembling, the darkness flickering like a candle in a storm.

Rae stared into his eyes—and saw shock. Recognition. Fear.

’No way that actually worked...’

Rae didn’t dare breathe. His heart was doing triple-time sprints in his chest.

One wrong move, and he was going to literally piss himself.

Because the truth was—if this goblin even looked at him wrong again, Rae was done.

Zero chance. Instant game over.

But instead, the goblin’s lips quivered. His knees shook.

Then he dropped.

Dropped.

Straight to the ground.

"M-my liege... it’s really you!"

He fell to all fours, forehead to the dirt.

Rae blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice.

’What the actual fuck just happened?!’

The goblin stayed bowed. Reverent. Trembling.

"Forgive me... I didn’t recognize your glory... Only you knew... about my ball..."

’Wait what—’

"...It was you, my liege, who crushed the other one... back when I rebelled... after the heroes defeated you."

Rae’s eye twitched.

The young goblin didn’t dare move.

His forehead still pressed to the blood-stained earth, his whole body trembling, not out of submission, but pure ball-preserving fear.

In goblin society, one’s value wasn’t just strength or rank.

It was what was hanging between their legs.

Having both balls was a blessing. A status. A fucking mating license.

And this poor bastard?

Well... he was down to one.

If he were a normal goblin, his bloodline would already be extinct.

But no, he was evolving now.

Stronger. Smarter.

But still very much afraid of a second ball-crushing.

Rae, meanwhile, was doing his best to look like a dark overlord instead of someone who just barely avoided pissing himself.

He raised a hand—dramatically—and let his voice drop an octave:

"I am not physically present here, as you know..."

He gave a tired, noble sigh, like some ghost emperor on borrowed time.

"And I cannot remain in this form for long."

The goblin nodded solemnly.

Oh, he knew. Of course, he knew.

His liege was powerful beyond words—so powerful his presence had to be limited.

That’s what made sense in his mind.

Rae, meanwhile, had no fucking clue what he was saying anymore.

The system was feeding him lines, and like the world’s most possessed actor, he just kept reading:

"But I have one command for you..."

He paused for effect, chest tightening with dread.

That effect was mostly panic, because what he read next made his balls crawl back into his body.

"Use your darkness..."

"...at this exact spot..."

"...tomorrow evening..."

So far, so normal. Probably just scaring off a hero or something, right?

"Lure the ice queen bitch..."

"...here..."

’Wait... what?!’

Rae’s mind raced.

His lips moved slowly, involuntarily finishing the sentence while his brain was waving a dozen red flags in a panic:

’Lure Celeste here? THE ICE QUEEN?! The girl who can freeze someone’s dick off by accident?!’

He stood there, frozen in time, mouth slightly agape as realization dawned.

The goblin, meanwhile, was already nodding in solemn understanding.

"As you command, my liege. I shall not fail you."

’Shit... oh fuck... creator, what the hell are you making me do?!’

Another line of text appeared before Rae’s eyes.

He stopped in his tracks, glaring at the glowing words like they were cursed.

[I will come here too. Together, we shall humiliate her.]

Rae’s whole body clenched. His lips curled in disgust.

’Ain’t no way I’m coming back here. Not willingly. Not ever again.’

’I don’t want to see his ugly face or deal with any of this bullshit again.’

’Just let me enjoy my women, dammit...’

He groaned inwardly, already feeling the warm embrace of Melissa’s fun bags slipping away like a dream.

But then, the Creator spoke again, this time hitting below the belt, right where it hurt most:

[Do you want to make that Ice Queen kneel before you and beg?]

Rae froze.

Celeste.

The icy goddess.

The untouchable woman who looked down on everyone like she was born with her nose in the clouds.

The thought of her pride cracking...

Her voice breaking...

Growling beneath him in surrender...

’...Fuck.’

He was in.

God damn it, he was in.

Meanwhile, the young goblin still knelt in front of him, patient and obedient, waiting for his liege to finish the divine decree.

Rae was silent a little too long.

’He must be maintaining the spell... Yes. The strain must be immense.’

Then Rae opened his mouth again, his voice deeper now, more certain.

"I will come here too. Together, we shall humiliate her."

The words hit the young goblin like gospel.

He bowed even lower, eyes wide with dark devotion.

’Why the hell am I even saying this?’

’Conspiring against the heroes when the whole damn kingdom is on the verge of collapse?’

Rae wanted to shake his head, slap some sense into himself, maybe even scream at the sky again, but he stayed in character.

He had no idea what the Goblin King was even capable of.

No clue what this freakish darkness induced evolution meant.

And now, here he was, helping this shady goblin set up an ambush for an actual hero.

All because... he wanted to see her humiliated.

’God, I’m fucked in the head.’

But then again...

Celeste was a certified, platinum-tier, Grade A bitch.

No doubt about it.

This wasn’t some random beef. No. She had it coming.

That ice-hearted princess had put a spell on every goblin in the kingdom.

Every. Single. One.

Suppressing their emotions.

Their thoughts.

Turning them into obedient little servants, basically unpaid slaves with green skin.

And what about her own personal goblin?

The one that followed her around like some lapdog?

Oh, she was free. No spell. No suppression. No shackles.

Just pure favoritism and double standards.

’Yeah, she’s a bitch all right. Fuckin’ royal-grade, too.’

The way she looked at Rae—like he was a speck of moss she didn’t want to touch, let alone acknowledge as intelligent life.

The way she talked down to every goblin that wasn’t hers.

’Honestly, it’d be a public service to break her pride a little.’

Rae straightened, still fully in the role of "Liege," but now just a little more convinced that maybe...

Maybe this was the right kind of wrong.

A knowing smile tugged at the young goblin’s lips.

’She had slipped away last time.’

He had been too careless. Too arrogant.

But he knew—they’d be back.

Heroes always come back. They can’t help themselves.

Stupid, noble idiots.

Always trying to finish what they started.

And he was just waiting. Biding his time like a patient predator.

It was only a matter of time before his fangs would be buried in her soft, icy throat again.

"This Grind will follow your lead, my liege," the goblin said, bowing with reverence.

Rae kept the act going, nodding with a practiced, commanding air.

"Go now."

Grind didn’t hesitate.

One quick nod, and the goblin vanished into the woods, the shadows swallowing him up like a loyal hound on a mission.

As soon as Rae was alone, he let out a sharp breath.

His whole body shivered. Just standing in front of that guy had made his skin crawl.

His instincts screamed danger, like a prey animal forced to walk beside a predator in disguise.

He still had a minute left on his transformation skill.

Without wasting time, Rae rushed toward the nearest puddle—thankfully left behind by last night’s rain—and leaned over to see his reflection.

"Holy hell..."

The face staring back was not his own.

He looked more orc than goblin—but without the usual brutish ugliness of orcs.

His features were sharp, intimidating, almost... regal.

Long red hair flowed down his shoulders, wild and striking.

Large canines jutted out like polished ivory fangs, and his jawline looked carved from stone.

But then there were the veins—dark red and pulsing like angry roots—tracing along his cheeks, his throat, down his bare arms.

"Damn... This guy could pull bitches without even saying a word."

Rae stared a little longer, silently amazed... and a bit terrified.

...

By the time Rae had shrunk back to his goblin self and sprinted—okay, panicked—back to camp, he found something surprising.

Three of the injured heroes were awake.

Still pale and bandaged, sure, but they were sitting up, smiling weakly, and chatting like they hadn’t nearly died.

The big central tent was warmer now, filled with soft laughter and relieved voices.

Rae stepped in, catching his breath, only to immediately get ambushed.

"Oh Rae~" Melissa cooed, grinning. "You were so worried about Alex, you cried and ran off into the woods~"

That earned a few chuckles.

Rae deadpanned.

Alex, lying on a makeshift pillow and wrapped in healing bandages, turned to look at him.

They stared at each other.

Hard.

Two very different people. One goblin. One hero.

And yet their minds were somehow on the exact same wavelength:

’The fuck I’d ever cry over your ass.’

Their synchronized scowls said it all.

Mutual understanding.

Mutual disgust.

Mutual no homo.

Melissa just giggled more.

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