Four Split Personalities
Chapter 76 - 76 30 Achievable!_2

76: Chapter 30: Achievable!_2 76: Chapter 30: Achievable!_2 Silva’s face was pale.

Even though Ned had just managed to create a brief respite for her, her physical strength had been greatly depleted.

The situation was so desperate, she could hardly see a glimmer of hope to turn the tide.

[But ‘I’ can’t…

Even though I have the same knowledge, experiences, and insights, even though it’s still ‘me’, the one standing here is the most mediocre one…]

Motan’s hands were weakly clenched, his face ashen.

Humans, at certain times, unexpectedly find themselves filled with self-loathing.

Whether they are geniuses, great men, villains, madmen, or just ordinary people, they all have such moments.

Regrets and annoyance, queries and introspection, are exclusive rights of intelligent creatures.

Loathing the self who betrayed friends.

Loathing the self who was cold and heartless.

Loathing the self who failed to show filial piety.

Loathing the self who went to any lengths for personal gains.

Loathing the self who lacked courage.

Loathing the self who never changed.

Loathing the self who was half-hearted.

Loathing the self who adhered rigidly to rules.

Looking back, if we could return to the many moments we don’t wish to recall, we would have wanted to give our past selves a proper slap.

If we had mustered up the courage to confess our feelings during that otherwise pleasant farewell dinner, would the outcome have been different?

If we could find even a half day amidst our busy work schedule to visit our family, would we still have so many regrets?

If we had taken a stand for our friends when they were in difficulty, even if it proved troublesome or mortifying at the time, would we not be so lonely now?

Of course, the world isn’t always that sweet…

Even if you muster the courage to confess your feelings, you might end up being humiliated in public.

Even if you risked being fired and returned home, you might still miss the last second.

Even if you took a dagger for your friends, they might still betray you someday.

But just a sliver of a promising possibility is enough to spur us into regret and loathing, or even hatred, of our past selves.

Motan was different…

or at least, he was different in some significant ways…

In his “neutral” state, he views everything as a form of entertainment and never ties himself down with self-loathing or regret.

Even the imminent threat of death is seen as an adventurous game.

In his “lawful good” state, he never does anything that contradicts his principles.

He always knows what he should and wants to do, is always responsible for his words and deeds, and takes pride in his virtuous deeds.

There’s no reason why he would loathe himself.

But Motan was different this time…

He was not much different from most of us, hence he loathed the current ‘unable to do anything’ self.

Even though he was just a Level 2 priest and had given his all in this encounter, Motan was still very dissatisfied with himself…

[If it isn’t the current ‘me’, I would have done it better!]

That’s what he thought.

He understands himself only too well, which has led to the current emotional outburst.

After all, if you were in the shoes of any normal person, the idea of “Ah, I did my best…” would be dominant.

Much like a student capable of scoring 100%, who would feel more frustrated when unable to solve a question compared to less academically inclined peers – it was the same logic.

This infuriating feeling is not because Motan and the members of the Fenrir team were particularly close or bonded like siblings.

He still had a clear distinction between games and reality.

As for Double Leaf, even if he died, it would just mean starting from scratch.

He was only dissatisfied with himself…

Without comparisons, there will be no harm – sometimes this phrase is not entirely a joke.

Motan was hurt by ‘himself’.

Because he was not much different from ‘most of us’.

We need acknowledgments and even when infuriated with ourselves, what we truly need is a bit of self-comfort…

But now, Motan couldn’t find any reason to comfort himself.

But he was not alone…

“Hey!

Your movements are slowing down!” Ned staggered, stumbling a few steps forward before suddenly turning to flash him a smile, “Are you starting to feel a bit exhausted?”

Motan was taken aback.

Sara gave a light snort.

She crashed into a beastman warrior before the Holy Word Shield around her could dissipate.

At the same time, she sent a surge of dark strength to repel her foe back a few steps.

Unexpectedly, she cracked a rare smile and gave Motan a thumbs up from afar.

“Don’t listen to the captain’s nonsense.

You’re really doing great!

Um, especially after my arm broke.”

“Hehe!” Grabbing a heavy and rough iron hammer, Crab smacked a fatigued and nearly tongue-lolling orc down the slope with a hearty laugh.

“I think with this kid, I can at least fight twice as hard as usual!”

At that moment, Yana moved swiftly to stand between Motan and Double Leaf.

She fired an arrow at the guy planning to take advantage of Ned’s stagger to attack him, then turned to flash them both an amused smile.

“The captain never sugarcoats his words.

You both are impressive indeed!”

Shrugging his shoulders, Double Leaf cast Motan a sidelong glance, mumbling, “He’s a lot more useful than I am.

It’s as if his mana never runs out.”

Motan remained stunned, only snapping out of it when Crab let out a melodramatically agonized shriek, signaling him from a distance it was time to heal a bit.

It seemed that even if he wasn’t ‘special,’ he still held some usefulness…

[No!

Maybe I can be even more useful!]

Raising his hand to cast a Holy Healing Technique on Crab, Motan began to think.

[Perhaps I’m not capable of devising any grand schemes right now, and I can’t single-handedly dominate the battlefield…]

Motan surveyed the small and chaotic battlefield around him.

[Nor do I have enough courage and determination to shoulder everything, leading everyone to victory from the front.]

The image and movements of each teammate clearly registered in his sight.

A short while of wholehearted support had given Motan a preliminary understanding of everyone.

[But…]

Only a healer in a supporting role has the chance to grasp everyone’s habits, movements, and abilities in the shortest time in combat, and only then can they prepare in advance for treatments or buffs.

[There are some things that only I, as I am now, can do.]

Motan always had enough knowledge and wisdom, a fast reaction speed, and sharp insight!

Only when he was Hei Fan did he possess: a support type profession, an approachable personality, and a resonance with most ordinary people!

“Captain!”

At Motan’s call, Ned immediately turned around.

Motan suddenly commanded in a deep voice, “Watch your left rear!

Keep that shield-bearing guy under check!”

“What do you mean?” Glancing in that direction, Ned hesitated for a moment before charging forward anyway, forcing the opponent to lift his shield to block with a swing of his sword.

While he did not quite understand why he should suppress a shield bearer with little offensive ability at this moment, it did not hinder Ned’s trust in Motan.

This trust was slowly cultivated by Motan, one healing at a time throughout the past dozen or so minutes!

“Crab!” Immediately after, Motan bestowed a Holy Word Shield, which should have been assigned to Ned according to the previous rhythm, on Crab without offering any explanation.

He loudly ordered, “Take three steps backward!

Smash the one with the red hair!”

Without a second word, Crab retreated three steps and swung his hammer towards a beast soldier who hadn’t had the opportunity to strike due to lack of good positioning.

As the beast soldier had been waiting for the perfect chance, he dodged the attack easily, but this caused him to involuntarily shift his body to the side.

“Sara!

Finish him off!” Motan immediately commanded, “Use that move you have to recharge for half a minute after each use!”

Wham!

The Lizardman martial monk knocked back the creature who was just about to turn his back towards him with the palm of his hand.

He pondered, “How do you know about my ‘Banging Palm’?”

“Oh, please, I’ve been watching you!” Motan retorted offhand.

An outstretched hand and a flash of golden light signified a spell underway, but not any supplementary magic.

Rather, it was the most basic divine art in the school of Holy Light, the poorly offensive – Solidifying Light Arrow.

But as much as this move was weak, it was bright!

“Yana!” Right after firing the Light Arrow, Motan instructed her immediately, “This is the direction.

Sara has already adjusted the angle for your attack.

Do you see those dirty arses?

Take them down with a scatter shot!”

“Roger that~~~”

Chapter 30: The End

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