Feral Bonds: Claimed By Rogue Alpha Brothers
Chapter 114: The Space Between Us

Chapter 114: The Space Between Us

Mallory:

The hallway was dimly lit and quiet as I made my way back to my room after bidding my friends ’good nights’.

Jasper was still in conversation with Instructor Oscar and Corey when we returned from the walk and headed to elevators.

I watched them for several minutes across the dining room, trying to read the stern lines of my mate’s face. They were discussing something serious, perhaps trip logistics or training protocols, but all I could think about was the fact that we were going to sleep in the same room tonight.

In the same bed.

My heart refused to stop hammering in my chest ever since that realization sunk in for the first time.

This wasn’t the same as sharing a room at the Academy with friends. It wasn’t like stealing glances. It was him. My mate. Jasper. And tonight, there was going to be no interruptions. No distractions. Just us.

Just me and the man who had kissed me earlier that day like I was something precious.

That kiss...

My lips tingled just thinking about it. The feel of his hand around my waist. The heat in his eyes right before his mouth met mine. It wasn’t rushed or hesitant like the first time - back when he dropped me at the Academy and I took the lead to make our first kiss happen. But that kiss was cautious, hesitant, unsure.

But earlier today?

That kiss was full of intent.

He had wanted me. Chosen to kiss me. And I had floated through the rest of the day like I was wrapped in starlight.

Now, back in our hotel room, the reality of it all was hitting me hard.

I shut the door behind me and leaned against it for a moment, taking slow breaths. The room was just as we had left it. There were two pillows on the large bed, one suitcase half-unpacked, and his duffel bag in the corner.

This was real.

I went into the bathroom to calm my nerves. My hands were trembling slightly as I turned on the water. I took a long shower - warm, relaxing, and just long enough to settle the butterflies in my stomach.

By the time I stepped out, steam was curling in the air around me, clinging to the mirror and fogging my reflection. I wiped it away and stared at myself - flushed cheeks, damp hair, eyes too wide.

I pulled on a soft pair of pajamas. It was light blue shorts and a matching top with lace trim. It wasn’t too revealing, but definitely not the oversized hoodie I usually wore to bed.

I wasn’t trying to seduce him.

Not really.

Okay... maybe a little.

I paced for a while, then sat on the edge of the bed with my bare legs pulled to my chest. I turned the lamp on beside me and flipped through a magazine I wasn’t reading, then checked the clock.

Ten minutes.

Then twenty.

Then forty-five.

The door creaked open an hour later, causing my heart to leap into my throat.

Jasper stepped inside quietly, looking tired. But his eyes lit up the moment they found me.

"Hey," he said in a low voice as he closed the door behind him before locking it.

"Hey," I echoed, standing up.

There was a brief moment of silence, and then his gaze swept over me slowly, taking in my bare legs, my flushed face, and the way I was twisting my fingers together.

"Did you... talk about something important with the instructors?" I asked, trying to fill the awkward space between us.

"I might have. Not sure though," he admitted as he walked toward me. His steps were unhurried but firm. "I was thinking about this."

Then he was in front of me, and I couldn’t breathe.

His hand brushed the side of my face. His fingers trailing through my damp hair as he looked down at me like I was something fragile.

I leaned into his touch without thinking. At some point, my hands even reached out to curl into the fabric of his shirt.

"Kiss me," I found myself whispering.

And he didn’t hesitate.

His mouth met mine in a kiss that was tender at first... soft, exploratory... but quickly deepened into something far more intense. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me flush against him as his mouth moved over mine with growing hunger.

I gasped when he lifted me slightly, my legs instinctively wrapping around his waist as he carried me to the bed. He knelt on the edge, still kissing me. His hands were warm on my waist as they slipped beneath my shirt, tracing the skin of my lower back.

I had never wanted anything more in my life.

We tumbled back onto the mattress and our kisses turned urgent. His hands started exploring, but never too much, just enough to drive me crazy. He was hovering above me, one hand cupping my face while the other held him up.

He pulled away from the kiss only to trail his lips down my neck. His breath was hot against my collarbone and I arched beneath him.

The way he was kissing me made everything else disappear.

As his fingers started exploring further, moving up, my heartbeat accelerated. Then, I felt his thumb coming in contact with the underside of my left breadt and I gasped at the contact, my body arching toward him instinctively. My hands fisted the front of his shirt, pulling him closer, needing more.

"Jasper..." I whispered, "Please..."

But suddenly, too suddenly, he stopped.

His lips stilled, his hands froze. And then he slowly pulled back. He was breathing hard, and his eyes looked stormy with restraint.

"I can’t," he murmured Ina hoarse voice.

"What?" I blinked, confused. "What do you mean you can’t?"

His hand slid out from under my shirt, and he sat back slightly, shaking his head. "We need to stop."

I stared up at him, feeling stunned. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No," he said quickly, running a hand down his face. "It’s not you. Goddess, Mallory, it’s not you."

"Then why are you pulling away?" My voice trembled with something I hadn’t expected... hurt.

He looked at me then, his eyes filled with something I failed to read. "You are not ready yet."

I flinched like he had slapped me. "What?"

"You are not ready," he repeated, softer this time, as if it would sting less. "We should take our time."

Heat rose in my cheeks - first in confusion, then humiliation.

"What does that even mean?" I asked as I sat up and pulled the blanket around myself. "You kissed me. You carried me to the bed. And now I’m not ready?"

"I didn’t mean it like that," he said while trying to reach for me again. "Mallory-"

"No, explain it," I said as I pulled away. "Because to me, it sounds like you think I’m too young. Or too inexperienced. Or not good enough."

"No," he growled. "That’s not it."

"Then what is it?" My voice cracked this time, and I hated it.

He stood up then and started pacing the room like a storm barely holding itself together. "Because if I go any further, I won’t be able to stop," he said, finally facing me. "And I don’t want to make you regret this."

My breath caught.

Regret?

He thought I would regret him?

The room was spinning.

"I don’t regret you," I said quietly.

He closed his eyes like it physically hurt to hear that. "But I would regret rushing you. Hurting you."

"You are hurting me right now," I whispered, blinking fast.

He came forward again and kneeled in front of me. His hands were hovering like he wanted to touch me but didn’t trust himself to.

"Mallory," he said and his voice broke a little, "I never thought this was even possible. That you were possible. You don’t understand how hard it is for me to even be in this room without touching you. But I don’t want this to start with pressure or guilt. I want it to be right. For both of us."

I stared down at him as tears threatened to fall.

"You think I don’t want that too?" I asked in a barely audible voice. "You think I haven’t waited? Dreamed? Prayed for this day to come?"

"I know," he said. "I know."

"Then why does it feel like you are rejecting me?" My voice cracked, and I hated how small I sounded.

He reached up to cup my face, but I turned away.

He sighed heavily and stepped back. "I should go," he said after a moment of silence.

I didn’t say anything.

I couldn’t.

Because I knew if I spoke, I would start crying and wouldn’t be able to stop.

He hesitated at the door, waiting... hoping... for something. But when I didn’t say anything, he slipped out quietly and closed it behind him.

The second the door clicked shut, the tears came.

Big, hot, aching tears that spilled down my cheeks and soaked the pillow I buried my face into.

I cried for what could have been.

For what wasn’t.

And for the space that now was feeling bigger than ever between us.