Fallen General's Omega (BL)
Chapter 129: Fear

Chapter 129: Fear

I don’t stop. I can’t stop. Every time I think I should rest, that I need to, my brain refuses. The thought of stopping feels like surrendering, like allowing something horrible to happen to Noelle. So I push on. My heart pounds in my chest, not just from the exertion, but from the panic that has taken hold of me, sinking its claws deep into my flesh, refusing to let go.

All I can think about is getting back to him. My beloved star, my Noelle. He’s the only thing keeping me tethered to this world. Without him, I’m lost. The idea of something happening to him while I’m miles away... it makes my blood run cold, my breath hitch in my throat. The anxiety swells in my chest, tightening like a vice, making it hard to breathe. But I can’t stop, not when there’s even the smallest chance that he’s in danger. Every muscle aches, my bones feel as though they’re cracking under the strain of pushing forward, but none of it matters. The exhaustion clawing at me is nothing compared to the fear gnawing at my insides.

I’ve changed horses so many times I’ve lost count. Each time, the beast beneath me heaves, barely able to keep pace with my frantic need for speed. I’ve pushed them all to their limits, their hooves pounding the earth in a relentless rhythm, the sound echoing in my ears like a heartbeat, driving me forward. But still, it isn’t enough. It’s never fast enough. Every second that passes feels like an eternity. Three weeks. The journey from Bodin to Aspen takes three fucking weeks, and every minute of it is pure agony.

I should be careful, I know that. I should pace myself. But the logical part of my brain is buried under the weight of my fear, drowned out by the pounding in my chest and the roaring in my ears. I’ve traveled nonstop, ignoring the burning in my muscles, the ache in my bones, the exhaustion that threatens to drag me under with every passing mile. I can’t stop, because if I do, the anxiety will swallow me whole. It’s already clawing at the edges of my mind, whispering all the terrible things that could happen, filling my head with images I can’t bear to see.

What if I’m too late?

That thought haunts me, following me like a shadow, clinging to every step, every breath. What if Thomas did something? What if he’s hurt Noelle? The possibilities churn in my gut, twisting and writhing until I feel like I might be sick. My hands tremble as I grip the reins, knuckles white, jaw clenched so hard it aches.

I’ve barely slept. How could I, when every time I close my eyes, I see Noelle’s face twisted in pain, his bright eyes dull and lifeless? The fear is suffocating, it presses down on me like a weight I can’t shake off. Every breath feels shallow, every heartbeat too fast, too frantic. I try to shake the images from my mind, but they cling to me, relentless and cruel.

What if I lose him?

The thought pierces through me, sharp and unforgiving, and I feel my chest constrict painfully. I can’t lose him. Not him. He’s the only light in this godforsaken world, the only thing that’s kept me sane through all the darkness. Without him... I don’t even want to think about it. The panic surges again, my heart racing in my chest as I kick the horse beneath me, urging it faster, faster, even though I know it’s already giving everything it has.

The landscape around me blurs, fields and forests passing by in a haze, but none of it registers. My eyes are fixed on the road ahead, my thoughts consumed by one singular need: get to Noelle. Nothing else matters. Not the exhaustion pulling at my limbs, not the hunger gnawing at my stomach, not the aching pain that has settled into every part of my body. All of it is background noise, drowned out by the sound of my heartbeat pounding in my ears.

I force myself to keep moving, even when my body screams for rest. My legs are trembling with fatigue, my vision swimming at the edges, but I don’t stop. I can’t stop. The fear keeps me going, pushing me beyond my limits. I don’t care if I collapse from exhaustion—I’d rather die on this road than stop and lose another minute. Every second counts, every mile brings me closer to Noelle, and I have to believe that I’ll get there in time.

But the doubt creeps in, insidious and cruel, whispering that maybe it’s already too late. Maybe Thomas has already done something unforgivable. Maybe when I get there, I’ll find Noelle’s body cold and lifeless, his vibrant spirit snuffed out. I shake my head violently, refusing to let the thought take root. No. I can’t think like that. I have to believe that I can still save him, that I can still get there in time.

My mind flashes to Noelle, the way his eyes light up when he sees me, the warmth of his smile, the way his presence makes everything in my chaotic life feel right. I cling to that image, to the hope that I’ll see him again, hold him in my arms, tell him how much I love him. He’s waiting for me. He has to be. I won’t let Thomas take him from me. I won’t.

But the fear lingers, gnawing at the edges of my resolve, whispering all the things I don’t want to hear. What if I’m too late? What if he’s already gone? The thought hits me like a physical blow, and I feel my chest tighten, the breath knocked from my lungs. I can’t lose him. I can’t.

I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up. My body is on the verge of collapse, every muscle screaming in protest, but I can’t stop. I won’t. I’ll push through the exhaustion, through the pain, through the fear, because I have to. I have to get back to him.

I don’t care what it takes. I’ll burn down kingdoms if I have to. I’ll tear apart the world, brick by brick, if it means keeping Noelle safe. Nothing else matters. Not the politics, not the battles, not the crown. None of it means anything without him.

All that matters is getting to him. Before it’s too late.