Dungeon? This Tree? Why Don't You Join Me for Lunch? (Dungeon Core)
Chapter 61: Frying Pan to the Head!

Chapter 61: Chapter 61: Frying Pan to the Head!

One person coming to take another’s place, my frying pan bonks Aron on the head gently.

He is sulking. I can feel it. He is sulking so much that I want to give him my blood again.

But I wouldn’t do that even if he did that thing with his pinkie again!

Even if it would be a tempting trade-off.

"Sylvan," he said. I bonked him again. "I think I’m myself again."

The humans who had not taken their turn to give blood picked up the horrified children and ran out of the tree.

I couldn’t blame them. All their lives, they had been taught that vampires were evil.

Dangerous.

And here I was, making them give their blood to a vampire.

I bonked myself with the frying pan as well.

"Ouch!" Man, did I really put Aron through this? I tried to bonk myself with the pan once more, as punishment, but Aron took a hold of my wrist and didn’t let me.

"It’s ok," he took me in his arms bridal style. That was my Aron. The one who smothered me with kindness. The one who ignored Nate, making his blood boil with jealousy.

"Aron, you can’t turn back to who you were," I told him, dropping the heavy cast-iron pan. I knew nothing would happen to it. Edda placed a barrier around it hours ago.

Aron’s skull was the stuff of legends.

"Then what should I be like?" He asked, as he laid me next to Nate. Just like he had done back then, in the war camp.

So many times, before.

"Passionate," I pulled him down with us. "Don’t make me get the pan again. For every hit you’ll get, I’ll get one as well."

"And I as well," Nate murmured, as he turned around and hugged us both. "Even if you won’t care much, Aron."

Aron gulped.

I knew that he cared. I knew that if he hadn’t cared, Nate would have ended up with his blood sucked dry that first night, Aron placed a very sleepy me next to a very sleeping Nate.

But Aron had petted Nate back then.

I didn’t understand his problem!

"Why?" I asked him, as I whipped around. "Why can’t you tell Nate that you love him? He cares! He got you out of the killing field!"

"He placed me in a cage, Bunny-bun," which was true, I had to admit. But that didn’t mean that Nate hadn’t risked a lot getting Aron out of there.

I still remembered the crazed look in the vampire’s eyes. He had been a horror and a half back there, of that much, I was sure.

"He loves you!" I heard Nate’s snort.

This couldn’t fly!

"Aron," I placed both of my hands on his cheeks. I needed him to know that we cared, darn it! That neither of us cared that he couldn’t get it up! "Why did you ravage Nate if you didn’t want him?"

"Because" Aron bit his bottom lip. "His blood made me horny. Besides... I had your permission."

Which was also true.

"And what do you think about Nate?" I could feel that Nate was listening in. He nuzzled the back of my neck with his nose.

Ah, that man was just a treasure. How did I not notice how precious he was? Why did I have to shoot him down by just telling him my age?

So, as if he were just a child?

"He’s kind," Aron reached out past me and petted Nate on the head. I could hear as his long fingers ran through Nate’s freshly washed blonde locks. "And his hair is soft."

I smiled. Come on, I nearly said, keep on buttering him up!

Because I wanted my family to be in harmony. I felt as Mordred and Morty teleported back. But I kept the barrier around us locked tight.

It was heartwarming to know that Morty had come back. And Mordred had probably done a lot of whining to get it to happen.

But the two were going to see their fathers snuggling when pigs began to fly!

I blinked.

Wait, I could swear that there was this man from the village who spoke about a flying pig, once. One which he had catapulted into the sky with his own catapult.

Hm... catapults. I needed catapult mobs.

Aron was good with runes.

Nate was good at tinkering with technology.

I was good at bribing...

"We are a match made in heaven!" I yelled, lost in my plans.

Getting between Aron and Nate, who, apparently, had been leaning towards each other fairy tale style for the past minute now.

Man...

Still, the kids had to wait a lot. But as we, all three of us, finally got cleaned up and dressed, I looked at my two husbands.

"You know, Nate’s right. I can’t name the priest who married us," which was something that I was unwilling to let slide.

What if they just left? Or Nate pranced off into the sunset with Aron?

It was not like I was doing much for the relationship...

"Is it really so important?" Aron asked, shifting on his feet.

"Sylvan... a holy ceremony like a wedding is going to fry Aron alive," Nate whispered.

"Oh," I narrowed my eyes. "You wanted to marry me without him!"

I looked around. There it was: my frying pan!

I lunged for it, Nate lunged as well.

One might think that someone who was a soldier who had fought in a war could be faster than a camp cook, but my fingers closed around the handle of the frying pan faster than his.

The pan was brought down on his hand. Then an attempt was made for it to be brought down on his privates.

Nate took off running.

Aron began to laugh.

But I! I was on the war path!

"How dare you try to break this family apart! Claim me all for yourself! And here I was wondering why Aron was so cold!"

"I’m sorry!" Nate yelled, as he tried to break the barrier which was keeping him in range of my frying pan.

It was domestic violence...

But Edda was making the frying pan about as heavy as a pillow, so the only thing we were doing was stretching our legs.

Ah, families.

Was there anything better than them?