Divinity Rescue Corps
58- Like Nothing We’ve Ever Seen Before

The bright sunshine blunted some of the bight of the brisk coolness of the fall day. All around me, the blue, blue sky shimmered in places with various other colors, like someone had put an iridescent layer of plastic over it. Not a cloud could be found anywhere. Distantly, the cliff still towered well above most of the village and the marsh, obscuring the way we’ve come. I kept checking it, hoping to find Tara flying around on the back of her wind snake.

Although it was not to be, I had still gotten level 15 in Pleasure Seeker and watched as all my Tokens topped up. Most encouraging of all, I now had 7 Free Tokens.

“I’ve missed you guys,” I whispered, looking at my character sheet in wonder. Even better was the message regarding level 15 of Pleasure Seeker.

Level 15: +1 free Attribute point, +1 skill point

The Attribute point could go in so many places, but I considered Ingenuity probably the best fit for it right now. As for the skill point, I couldn’t be sure. It would sit with the skill point pool for now. More than anything, I wanted to add it to the Pleasure Seeker Qualities. I found the lovemaking and cries of ecstasy so relaxing and right. They were what I could look forward to after doing the work that needed doing.

First up: spending a Durability Token to use Healer’s Resistance on Tweedle Dee. The little guy was starting to look bad again, and the moment color flooded back into his coat, Regina visibly relaxed. I like the relaxed and cheerful version of Regina over the concern and helplessness that came from her staring down at an ailing Nakamamon.

Now with my tools and ingredients, it was easier to whip up a little something to treat Dee.

“I think an elixir will do it,” I told them both.

Elixirs are harder to make, but last longer.

Soon I set to the task: getting the oil heated, choosing the herbs, roots, flowers and ground bark necessary for this one. Lucky for me, I hadn’t used up any of the magical cure ingredients when working on the mental cure for the Marshin eggs.

I needed henge grass and mist lilies again, but for a longer lasting type of treatment, you couldn’t use jaln oil.

“Vel?” I asked.

Vellenia appeared in an instant, sinking to her knees by my side and cooing over the convalescent flower fox.

“How may I assist you, bonded one?”

Regina’s mouth quirked up in a hint of a smile.

“I will be using phraxseed oil for the treatment, but I will likely need to extract some more and keep it for future treatments or cures. Does your village have a press for this?”

She tapped at her chin in a very cute manner, then held up a finger. “I will inquire, and return to you.”

“Smashing,” I said.

“Smashing?” She repeated. “Is this not a euphemism for sex? We are not engaging in intercourse presently, are we?” Her eyes narrowed. “It seems highly unlikely.”

Finally, Regina’s veneer of misery cracked and she let out a bark of a laugh.

“No, Vel. Back on earth, smashing also means ‘that’s great!’”

“Ah. Smashing, I will inquire about the phraxseed oil, after which you may have free time for smashing.”

She peered at us, huge cute eyes looking back and forth between Regina and I for confirmation that she’d done it correctly. Regina continued snorting laughter, then slapped her hand on her thigh. I joined in too, shaking my head.

“She’s a treasure,” Regina said.

“You’re not going to get the two of us in bed,” I growled at her. “Not right now.”

Honestly though, if I had sex, there was a nice bonus of +2 to all my stats from Post-Sharing Clarity. We actually could start my job off with a bang.

“Do you really want to…” I trailed off.

“Want to what?” she asked with a sparkle of amusement in her voice.

“There’s a stat bonus if we get freaky,” I told her, glancing around to see if we were alone. Aside from a snoozing Dee, the place was presently empty.

“Ooohhh,” she said.

And this was how, just a few heartbeats later, Regina had my member in her mouth and her hands roaming all over the insides of my thighs. I goggled at her, and she grinned around my hardening member.

“Just go ahead today,” she whispered, “right in my mouth.” and plunged back down onto me. She worked backwards and forwards, slurping at me and gasping for air after a good ten or twenty seconds of slurping and sucking.

There was nothing to be done for this, except get my fingers twined into her scalp and watch her go.

“Or on my face,” she added, in between long licks. She jacked on me while licking up the entirety of the shaft, then back down. She was getting better at this. She’d been pretty clumsy at it the first few times, though I’d been a complete novice as well. Every bit of attention was both mind-boggling and seriously arousing. Not to mention pleasurable. To go from my hand to a girl’s mouth was… euphoric. Unbelievable. She wasn’t just doing this act, she was down on her knees before me, staring me in the eye until the moment I could paint her face if I wanted to.

I groaned and she smiled. She looked so proud of herself.

“You’re getting… better at this…” I told her.

“I want a lot of practice,” she said, then dove down.

It was so awesome, having someone totally dedicated to my pleasure. I made a mental note to dive between Regina’s legs next time and lick with abandon.

With no reason to stave off my orgasm, I just stood there and relished in the attention and pleasure. It built, watching her slide her mouth up and down my shaft. It built, feeling her tongue wriggle against the underside. And it built, from the attention and dedication she was showing me.

And then it erupted. I growled out a warning and received a pleased coo before she accepted the first few bursts into her mouth. Then she pulled off and jerked me to completion, taking all the rest on her face.

Holy heck.

When I was finished, the UI dutifully informed me that I had a good long while before the +2 on all my stats ran out.

“Thank you,” I told her.

“Thank you,” she replied, and swirled her finger around the mess I’d left on her face, then licked at what she had scooped up on her face.

I carefully gathered ingredients and adjusted the height of the cauldron over Larelle’s Magmamander. Then, with my phraxseed oil warming and the beeswax added to melt, I infused the mist lily petals. While they steeped, I ground up some of the willow bark, added henge grass when the time came, and finally extracted the film of yuck that rose to the top.

The time passed in a bit of a daze. I couldn’t tell just how much, as I slipped into the trance of creation. I begin to draw on the core through the strange new spot in the middle of my forehead where the mana comes out, and place it down into the concoction before me.

Treatment check: Elixirs are naturally longer lasting treatment options for magical injuries than potions, and are thus more difficult to craft. You have the Treatment (elixirs) skill at rank 3, and the associated Attribute is Ingenuity. The check is Difficult, requiring 4 successes. Would you like to spend 2 Tokens for an automatic success?

Total Tokens: 7 Ingenuity and 7 Free Tokens.

*Note: This check qualifies for the Hard At Work bonus of double Token value.

I considered just tapping on No, but was brought up short by the possibility that I wouldn’t succeed. Usually it went 3:1, where 3 Attribute and skill points equalled a single success, though I’d done better than that in the past. I’d also done worse. This could be one of those times.

I also had +2 on my Ingenuity due to the uh… boost I’d just received from Regina.

“Nah,” I said, and pressed No. If I failed I could use a Token to retry the check.

The success came out after all, exactly the 4 I needed. In a flash, the mixture went from ink to a bright yellow, bubbling with what looked like carbonation. I soon had the elixir cooling in an aluminum camping mug. When Dee drank it several minutes later, he perked up immediately. New flowers sprang into being around his ears and tail, blossoms I definitely hadn’t seen before. Daisies were there, some really odd ones that were called glorybowers, pansies, the list went on. I loved how the Goddess of the Meadows had bestowed upon me perfect recollection and understanding of what these flowers were.

Tweedle Dee was a wonderful Nakamamon, and I shared in Regina’s delight at having his tails waving behind him, his eyes alight, and the color back in his fur. Regina hugged me tight yet again, and pulled me in for a quick kiss.

“You can’t really…” I trailed off. She could. Even if Cinzy found out… I had plenty of interested female partners already, even if some of them weren’t technically on the permanent bedding list. I didn’t, strictly speaking, need to try and add Cinzy to that list. With every addition, I was courting trouble.

Still, Regina and I danced around the building where I had my lab set up, with Dee weaving his way in between our legs, leaping up between us, and yipping in delight.

“That is going to last… a few days,” I said, reading the notification from the UI. I bent and gave the little guy some head and ear scratches, avoiding the flowers ringing the base of his ears.

“Let’s get to work then,” she said, and together the two of them headed out to search for any remaining pieces of divine clothing.

So weird.

“Hey!” I called. When Regina popped her head back in, I told her to take Alan or Trent with them, to search using a mana sense or a spell.

***

I ran the Diagnosis thinking that this god probably had a magical ailment as well. With the sensing stones I’d used with the eggs just days ago from the lacquered wooden box, I unwrapped the first and waved it slowly over the tunic and pants. I followed this with the other stones, carefully re-wrapping each stone before getting the next out, since they couldn’t be allowed to contaminate the others.

“Bonded one?”

I peered back at Vellenia. “Hey.”

“Do you require assistance?”

“I… guess I could use another pair of hands. Just don’t touch these.” I indicated the glowing clothing.

Diagnosis check: This check works with Affinity. This check is Very Difficult.

Would you like to spend 4 Tokens for an automatic success?

Total Tokens: 5 Affinity and 7 Free Tokens.

*Note: This check qualifies for the Hard At Work bonus of double Token value.

This was also a tempting bargain. 12 Tokens seemed like a lot. 8 successes seemed practically impossible for my current level. And then there was the chance, like before, that this might not even be the actual illness afflicting this shirt and pants, meaning that I’d be throwing 4 Tokens in the garbage. Also, losing 4 Tokens until I could hit level 15 in my Healer class or level 20 in Pleasure Seeker… it now seemed like a much more serious investment. Unless I could replenish Tokens with meditation… I’d just have to figure it out sooner rather than later.

“You wouldn’t by chance have a whole wealth of Affinity Tokens lying around to lower my difficulty, would you?”

Vellenia blinked twice, before producing 6 Tokens out of thin air. Just like with mine, they appeared out of nothing, jumped and spun in the air, and made that telltale cla-cling sound six times in quick succession.

For that cost, the difficulty lowered by 2 and meant I would only have to spend 3 instead. It didn’t seem worth it, honestly.

“Uh… thank you.” I felt dumb now, but spent my 3 Tokens anyway.

The window that popped up before my eyes was very confusing.

The being you seek to diagnose suffers from a magical malady, as well as another type of malady. Though you have succeeded, the exact type of illness eludes you.

“What the…” I trailed off.

A few minutes later I had Alan’s binders full of trading card-sized clay tablets that could be expanded with a spell if you wanted to read the whole thing without giving yourself a headache. I was slowly trying to locate anything in the literature talking about an illness that had more than one type of cause. And I’ll be damned if it didn’t take something like forty-five minutes, me standing there in the buff with a magnifying glass pressed against my face, looking for the cure to a magical-and-another-type of malady. Alan even showed up, and rapidly started expanding the pages I was working on, onto the desk, and shrinking down some of the ones I’d been looking at for mental maladies, so they could be more easily read.

“W-w-w-what are w-w-w-w-we looking f-for?” he asked.

“A dual type affliction,” I said, not pausing at my work.

In the end… nothing.

I had to go through the Diagnosis process again, and possibly again.

At least I thought I could rule out Physical Diagnosis pretty easily. There would be no running my fingers over the articles of holy clothing I had before me, nor using a stethoscope, though I seriously considered it for a time. Instead I got out the reactant strip, and cautiously placed it down against the fabric of the pants to avoid touching it.

Alan watched, holding his breath. Others had joined me in the building, even though they were supposed to be out searching for other holy… vestments I guess you could call them.

The reactant strip flashed momentarily gold and I dropped it like it was made of hot lava. It didn’t even hit the ground before dissolving into gold glittery stuff, which vanished into the air.

This time, the Diagnosis check was at a lowered difficulty: only 4 instead of 6. My Ingenuity and skill gave me 10 once more, and I wasn’t confident I could get 4 successes. 2 Tokens seemed like a high price to pay just to hear the UI tell me no, but I paid it anyway.

And the UI then told me no, it wasn’t a physical malady. Whatever had disintegrated a god but left its clothing behind wasn’t viral or from a sword slash.

The nature of the affliction is not physical, the UI reported.

It went on to lower the difficulty of the remaining two categories: Mental and Spiritual.

This time, I decided to skip Mental and go to Spiritual. Now, I wasn’t even an Apprentice Healer, but I’d been shown the very basics in how to perform a Spiritual Diagnosis. A lot of this came directly from the three points of Diagnosis (Spiritual) skill sitting on my character sheet.

For shirts and giggles, I slapped a skill point into the skill, and was satisfied with it. I now had 11 ranks to use.

“Why not,” I breathed, and put another skill point down there.

The information was there now, resting inside my brain. The sensation of it appearing was a warm flow over my brain, like someone had just opened up my skull and poured in a bit of coffee. Not hot coffee, but coffee that had been cooling for a little while.

The information I got was that a spiritual malady could be checked with a number of spiritual tests: one was burning a specific type of incense and wafting it around. This was usually done with a censor. The next test involved sprinkling the afflicted with holy water. Next was drawing a ritual diagram and laying holy artifacts and specific plants down in the diagram, before infusing it with a touch of holy mana.

“I will need…” I muttered, “something called heaven’s tears. It’s a flower that grows in the shadows of some specific holy sites.”

A spiritual sickness involved a degradation of the actual divinity, which I didn’t quite understand yet. The mana that made up a lot of these Nakamamon wasn’t the same energy or particles as the holy stuff. What it was exactly defied understanding thus far. Wizards were good with the mana side of things, but this spiritual side didn’t operate by scientific laws like we were used to on earth.

The diagnostic tests were there in my mind because of the skill ranks I’d just purchased, but the rest of the knowledge was just instinctual. I needed to go through Alan’s books to see what else Rainer the Mustache Head man had written down on this topic.

I was interrupted by the appearance of Larelle and Trent. They had a tiny column of stone moving along the floor, and on that stone lay a single glowing sock.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I said.

“Sorry, Fletcher,” Trent said, understanding my frustration instantly. He had the stone column arrange the sock—which had a hole in one toe—at the bottom of the pants, where it would go if you were about to make a doll or a scarecrow… that had socks.

“I’m going to run the diagnostic,” I said, “but I’d bet we need to find the rest of the clothing to make the cure and administer it. We’re looking for underwear, maybe an undershirt, possibly gloves and a hat. Vellenia, could you kindly ask the Marshins and the Marshmellows to assist in the search?”

The lookey-lous in the room nodded and filed out to look around the village.

“This incense,” I told Alan, “is filled with frankincense, heavenly blue morning glory, and sacred lotus. There are hints of a lot of other flowers here too, because here divinity is real and we don’t really know how that corresponds with earth religions.”

“Wild,” he said, fascinated.

“This will be a serious problem to replicate. Hopefully this is the last time I need to use it.”

The incense I had I quickly burned, and we wafted it around over top the laid out clothes. I didn’t have a censor, which was just an incense holding ball on a chain that you’d waft around in a church. I’d only ever seen them on the internet.

Oddly enough, the pungent smoke seemed to congeal around knee height, over a foot above the clothing. A lot of it just drifted away and diffused around the room, leaving a thick aroma that wasn’t pleasant to my nostrils.

What was left was an incomplete 3D rendering of a humanoid form… made of smoke. Hovering over the assorted clothing.

“Whoa,” Alan said.

This is Christopher wholeheartedly agreeing.

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