Divinity Rescue Corps
121- No Big Deal

Tending to an actual god, some twenty feet tall and very clearly not the same type of thing the God of Apparel had been, it really made the problem in this world feel much more real and pressing. And there were a shortage of healer people in this world.

Somehow I’d gotten sex powers, surrounded myself with amazing and wonderful companions who gained a little of the Healer in me when I gave them what they wanted, and I got what I wanted. Like a virus, spreading more healing ability around to the humans of this world, when none of them wanted to be Healers.

It made me think that The Lovers, the god who had shown up and ‘blessed’ Tara and I once upon a time, had a plan in mind when gifting me these powers.

Although my main task was to keep my eye on the ball for the magical diagnosis, my Ingenuity was now high enough that I could multitask reasonably well. Without losing focus on this important challenge, running the crystals up and down the god’s body, while ruminating over the unique and bizarre situation here on this world.

A couple of special factors: gods were falling ill, they had only started falling ill when humans figured a way into this world, the system hadn’t existed until humans entered and started mucking around here, and the two people who had purpose built the system were in a sort of feud with one another. Oh, and also there hadn’t  been any fighting aspect Nakamamon until Blake had become one.

With all this in mind, I got on with my diagnostic, and, nearing the end, the system UI came up with a check for me.

Diagnostics check:You have the Diagnostics skill at level 6, while Affinity is at level 7. Other applicable skills are unranked. This check is Extreme, requiring 9 successes. Would you like to spend 9 Tokens for an automatic success?

Total Tokens: 7 Affinity and 7 Free Tokens.

This again. Unfortunately, if the check failed and it was a Magical ailment, I’d have an even higher difficulty on the Develop Cure check. Thanks to Mender’s Focus, I could now count on about 50% success rate on these class skills, or 6 successes.

I slapped myself upside the head. Arcane Alchemy would help in this regard. All I needed to do was get my Tokens back through Meditation, making class checks, and at least one of my Pleasure Seeker abilities.

I paid the 9 Tokens, breathing a little lighter anyway. This god was enormous, and the task seemed enormous. As I finished my sweep of the magic stones around the god’s head, I—

The gigantic tattooed man groaned, and his eyes blinked several times.

Success! You have succeeded a Diagnosis (Magical) check! The ailment in question is indeed a magical ailment. Mana Misalignment has been identified as the most likely culprit.

I wasn’t able to read this at the time, as I was furiously yanked back away from the god by my trusty Guardians. The first danger appeared to be a rain of nails out of one of the side pouches, which all glittered with divine energy. The arm sweeping through the place I’d just been was the second one. It landed on the front porch of the nearest house, which groaned and then splintered with the weight put on it.

The gigantic, coal-black man with the glowing tattoos—and eyes by the way—radiating holy, soft white energy, got His feet under Him and slowly stood. As He did, a sort of afterimage trailed after him, a bluish white ghostly aura that slowly absorbed into His body. If there was one saving grace to him being at least twenty feet tall was doing things in a ponderous slow motion.

“Holy—” Tara said again.

“Quit that!” I barked, but also laughed. What we were watching was miraculous, it was astonishing, it was…

…super dangerous.

Fletcher, we need to vacate the premises, Larelle said. Before I could react, I was already in her beefy arms, cradled like a football, or a princess. I was being princess carried. Chrysta has your tools, she told me, when I tried to crane my neck to get a look at the force of nature in action.

Luckily, it didn’t appear to have registered our presence at all, let alone see us as a threat. Instead it groped around in its own godly stupor, using house roofs as crutches. Two of these held; one did not. Noise and dust shot out in all directions as one roof collapsed.

The god groaned, a sound that actually pressed against the sides of my head from the inside somehow, threatening to burst it. I ended up getting a Divine Resistance check using Durability, and passed it, but several others cried out. The God of Productivity then took two staggering steps, stumbled, shaking the ground near us. Putting hands to knees seemed the most human thing the god had done, but only for a moment.

He then vomited.

The stuff that came out of him was gold colored. At first. It was also much larger than a punch bowl’s worth of sick up. Some of us were not fully out of the splash zone, but Isabelle produced a large magical shield to deflect it from hitting any of the rest of us. Jacoby’s team finally got the message and retreated, while Alan, Trent, Regina and Tara were far enough away not to need the save.

“New orders!” I called. “We keep eyes on it nonstop. Rangers organize watches. Guardians and Drat are on that duty but follow our new squad leaders.” Tara and Regina immediately veered off to get in conversation with one another. I caught a brief glimpse of Jacoby running alongside us, with her team members not far off. Several of her Guardians were hefting their blazing magical shields as well, and pulling a controlled but swift retreat. “Trent, what’s the chance you can erect a wall to keep Him in the city?”

Trent pulled up next to me, with a look of utter incomprehension. “Are you… what?”

“Containment,” I said. “Can we contain it?”

“No!” He said, indignant. “Even if I could make a wall like thirty or forty feet high, and at least… six or eight feet thick, there’s no way I could make it all the way around town.”

“Dissuasion then. Can you make it at the entrance closest to the refugee camp, and our camp, and Jacoby’s team camp? We want to make that thing stay away from people it could touch and kill.”

His face twitched in annoyance, with a side of hefty weariness. “I’ll need a day or two.” Once upon a time had wanted to get out of the HQ and really flex his powers, and boy had he gotten so many chances to do so.

“You’re amazing. Make it happen.”

I could also make it happen, theoretically. Conjuration was what I’d need, and I had it. My mana pool was still a lot smaller than his or Alan’s but I could—

No, what was I thinking? I needed a cure in record time, and I needed to administer that to make this walking nightmare go away. Trent could make a wall, but nobody else could whip up a cure to stop a twenty foot tall god from rampaging across town and country.

My workload for the next few days was crystal clear.

Well, mostly clear.

***

Larelle and I entered the laboratory just as the sun was beginning to set. Nestled in Larelle’s big arms, I got to see the whole sky lit up in a burst of lovely colors. What a long and eventful day it had been, and it was only halfway done.

“I need to—”

I was bombarded on all sides by female companions. Vellenia, Cinzy, Ivy, and Regina were all there. The only one missing was Tara, who had chosen to take first watch, along with Chrysta and Isabelle.

I was hugged first by my Nakamamon companion, but Ivy soon squished in and made it a group hug, with Cinzy following along. Regina grinned and hugged on next, darting forward to put a kiss on my cheek.

Cue the kiss outbreak. Before Larelle could even turn the group hug into a massive groaning bear hug, my Nakamamon beauty had taken Regina’s kiss as permission, and began kissing me as well.

“Come on,” I chuckled.

Cinzy even got one in before all that stopped.

Then it was everyone’s turn to groan and feel their feet lift off the ground. All the bodies were compressed into mine, and Larelle was picking all of us up.

“Okay,” I said, voice strained. “Down, down!”

That was most wonderful, Larelle told me. I’m pleased to join the group squish.

All of us were gasping and giggling.

From there, we got settled and had a bite to eat, then went over the next steps. Alan was too tired and sick with divinity poisoning to deal with more, so I set Cinzy to the task of informing him of all the steps to come, and his place in the team.

“What about me?” Drat asked.

“Well, you’ve earned your reprieve,” I told him. “Unless you want even more non-class related work orders, you get some rest and relaxation coming your way.”

“I’ll take it,” he said, nodding toward the girls, and headed out.

Jacoby’s team was with us at the nonexistent bonfire just ten minutes later, demanding a debrief on what the heck had just happened. I told them what I knew, which included an update from Tara: presently the god was drunkenly wobbling around the town. It had several times taken a knee, groaned in a way that hurt the brain to hear and see, and vomited golden stuff onto the cobblestones.

I then treated several of the team members for divinity poisoning. This was nothing like the potion we’d mass produced earlier that day. Luckily for me, we’d made a longer lasting elixir than the potions, and there was still enough left to treat everyone.

“Listen,” I told them, still able to stifle a yawn. Healer’s Endurance was no longer part of my special ability repertoire, meaning there was no overcoming the effects of sleeplessness, or in this case fatigue from overwork.

I’d already succeeded the checks, and doing so again wasn’t necessary. That was good, because I felt like there wasn’t enough left to handle even one more check.

Several members of Jacoby’s team had been too close when the god exerted its divine presence, so they got treated. Ivy carried over and offered up Chrysta, the only member of either team to have been too close to the splash zone. The gold stain of divine vomit had revealed her leg, and the divinity poisoning caused her to seem fully corporeal for the first time ever. She had always been waifish and slim, but now turned sad eyes my way.

I coaxed her to lay down into my lap, and I scooped a dose of the elixir up for her. 

“Do not fuss over me,” she said. “I have already passed on.”

“I’d rather not find out about some final annihilation.” Divine power trumped everything. I liked Chrysta, honestly. She needed to stick around. “Drink this.”

“Fletcher…”

“Drink this,” I commanded, and pushed the elixir on her.

“I… can’t.”

“You can. We’re not going to play this uh-huh, nuh-uh game like we’re brother and sister.”

She blinked at me, then hissed in pain.

“You can feel pain? That means you can drink, and that means you can heal up.” I pushed the elixir to her lips and she obediently opened up, then swallowed the glowing thing. The mixture played a soft harp melody, along with some voices lifted in song.

The light suffused her body, and allowed her to fade back to semi-transparency. The sticky gold patch of vomit disappeared, and her slim leg disappeared shortly afterwards.

She reached up and caressed my face. “You have done me a great kindness, Fletcher. I will not forget this.”

“You’re very welcome, and try not to get vomited on again. Since there are no night clubs in this world it shouldn’t be difficult.”

Her hand fell away the moment she realized we were surrounded by others. Vellenia was distributing the other elixirs to the other members of Jacoby’s squad. The Healer’s Resistance hadn’t been enough for those without the Divine Resistance skill.

As soon as they knew they were coming back every day for a re-up of their treatment, until the God of Productivity was no longer an issue, their faces fell a little. As for the timeline on that… hopefully less than three days.

I tried, and failed, to stifle a huge yawn the moment we switched gears.

“You need rest,” Ivy said.

“We all need rest,” Cinzy said. I was glad she no longer looked a good ten years older, what with the Fairy Poppins situation currently in a holding pattern.

I fell asleep in the middle of protesting that he doesn’t need any sleep. This was the kind of sleep people only dream of: dark, vast, and restful.

***

I awoke to the smells of breakfast cooking somewhere outside. Heavenly scents of bacon, eggs, and cinnamon wafted in. I was in my bed, but when I opened my eyes, I only caught sight of something humongous and orange in my field of vision.

Larelle sat propped against the door, mouth open and snoring softly. She was fully nude. The Nakamamon Guardian typically wore a gigantic and loose-fitting martial arts gi style uniform, and it was practically impossible to tell anything specific about her body shape underneath. Well, that was over.

Given her regular clothing, she might’ve seemed big and padded, or even fat, but she was anything but. Thickly muscled, yes. Fat, no. She wasn’t human, so her body didn’t have to work like humans anyway. For instance, she literally had no wrists or ankles, her lower legs sloping down to toe-like things. Up higher, her enormous forearms just… became hands. They were incredibly strong, too. To add to all that, she also had a simply unbelievable amount of hair. It draped over half her face and body, but the other side was open for my eyes to behold. Fully open.

Well, that was something I both hadn’t seen and wasn’t expecting to see at all. Larelle struck me as someone who had an innocence and naïveté that was absolute, complete. Advancing on her seemed like it would be taking advantage, like I’d be committing a sin.

Yet at the same time she was undeniably adult shaped. She had big, heavy boobs with darker orange nipples, one covered by silky brown hair, though that nipple was big enough to poke through the cascade of her hair. I also had an unimpeded a patch of hair down between her legs.

Another form squirmed at my side: Vellenia.

“Someone is lusting after our Larelle,” she said quizzically, half a question.

I was curious about her, and I shared that information with my bond mate. I didn’t know what had caused her to stick around my place, why she had her back to my door, and why, for the love of Pete, she had removed all of her clothes.

“Well, she was only following what she saw us do,” Vellenia replied in a barely audible whisper.

She was nude, curled around me. Vellenia draped one white and mint green leg over my midsection.

“Perhaps she wants to take you as Shakindria and I take you.” A hand drifted up and down my torso, smoothing its way over my brand new pecs, then up to the side of my face. I allowed her to turn my face toward her for a kiss.

She didn’t appear to have any qualms about the fact that I’d had sex with yet another partner, this one a Nakamamon.

“Hmm I like this very much,” she breathed.

“What a coincidence,” I replied. Her tongue darted out and we kissed deeper, until her roaming hand found me fully hard and standing at attention.

“You do like it,” she told me, complete with a giggle and a blithe, smiling undertone of sensuous lust. “I think you would like it more if you put it there… but I have a request for you.”

“And what would that be?”

This is Christopher about to be surprised.