Descendants of Gibbous
Chapter 42: Convictions

Chapter 42: Convictions

Standing a good distance from Damien was his familiar shadow frame, with smoky tendrils dancing around its body like flames. The dark expanse still had the same chilly aura as before—from the glistening water on the ground forming a black mirror that reflected the raven sky above to the never-ending space stretching out into the dark horizon.

The only difference was the lack of the different colored flames and the glowing gem.

However, despite their absence, Damien could see everything inside the inky domain clearly—especially the shadow. Just like last time, he looked a lot like Damien—from top to bottom, the shape of his body, frame, and muscle—everything.

Everything except the fiery tendrils coming from him the same way aura was oozing out of Brandon a while ago.

Just then, realization hit Damien like a brick and he turned his head around, hoping his assumption wasn’t true. But when he couldn’t see any sign of his teammates and opponents anywhere around him, reality struck him like lightning.

’Am I dead?’

"No, you’re not dead," replied his voice loudly.

Damien stilled as the voice echoed around him. He was sure he didn’t open his mouth to speak, and the last time he had tried talking to the shadow, it never replied.

’Am I hallucinating? Is this a dream?’

"You’re not hallucinating and this isn’t a dream. This is happening."

This time Damien was sure of it. The shadow spoke.

"You can speak?" He blurted out before he could stop himself.

"I’m a part of you, of course, I can speak, and right now, you’re inside your subconscious."

Damien scoffed, glancing around. "Yeah, right. This black empty shithole?"

"Yes," the shadow replied, taking a step closer to Damien.

At his movement, the water below immediately came to life. Waves rippled in every direction with each step the shadow took, the silent domain coming to life as little splashing sounds came from its feet every time it raised them to walk. The shadow wasn’t joking. Damien knew better than anyone how his voice worked, and right now, the shadow sounded exactly like how he does when he’s gravely serious about something.

"This space is a reflection of your subconscious. Your desires, your convictions, every other belief and emotion you’ve ever felt is what makes up this domain."

Another scoff came from Damien.

"You expect me to believe that when it’s just a dark space of nothingness? I know what I feel damnit, and this isn’t exactly the picture I have in mind when I think about it."

"That’s because you’re lying to yourself," the shadow responded, closer to Damien now.

The boy’s eyes widened. He couldn’t believe what the shadow version of himself was saying.

"What do you—argh!" A sharp pain coursed through his chest and Damien held on to it.

’Wait, why am I feeling pain if I’m dead?’

"I told you, you’re not dead. But you will die soon if you don’t change."

’So he can read my thoughts.’

"What do you mean?" Damien asked, still holding onto his chest. It was burning now, the kind of pain he had been feeling not too long ago when Yong was about to hand over their shirt to Vestin.

’Fuck, the shirt!’

"Don’t worry. This domain defies time. Once you leave it, you’ll continue from where you left off—just like last time," the shadow soothed his worries, stopping in front of Damien.

The boy let out a sigh of relief but immediately swallowed it when another sharp pain hit his chest. He groaned and gripped it, raising his head just in time to see the shadow pointing at him.

"But you can only leave once you change."

"Stop blabbering nonsense and just get to the point. What do I need to change?!" Damien hissed through gritted teeth glaring at the shadow.

"Everything," the shadow replied, his voice gravely.

The words rang in Damien’s ears, slicing his already painful heart into two as the realization of what the shadow probably meant hit him.

"And what exactly do I have to change if I may ask?"

"Why do you want to become stronger?"

"I asked a question first!"

"Answer the question!" The tendrils around the shadow flared, making Damien wince a little. He turned his face away.

"To protect my sister and get revenge on my parents of course."

"And what have you done to prove that you want to accomplish your goals?"

"The hell?" Damien glared at the shadow again, forcing himself to ignore the pain coming from his chest.

"I was getting blasted not too long ago trying to secure my place at the academy that’s going to help me get stronger before you suddenly waltzed me over here, and yet you ask me such a silly question? Are you serious right now? Or is this some kind of Gibbous shit where subconscious versions of ourselves mock our efforts and—"

"You’re weak."

"—degrade us...Excuse me?"

"I said, you’re weak," the shadow repeated.

Damien clenched his fists tightly. "Weakling this, weakling that, it’s all everyone here in Gibbous keeps reminding me about. Old man Twiller, Clement, the shitty butler, his son, hell even that cocky Vestin wouldn’t even spare me a glance because he felt I wasn’t threatening enough for him."

"You think I don’t know I’m weak? Do you think I like being weak? No! I don’t like being weak! I want to be stronger too, but what can I do when I just got introduced to this shitty world where everyone’s always looking down on the weak?"

"Try harder," the shadow retorted at the rage-filled boy

"That’s what I’m doing damnit! I’m trying to enroll myself at Gibforge and yet—"

"And yet you’re going to fail," the shadow finished for him. "Your teammate was about to hand over your team’s shirt to your opponent, wasn’t he? And you were too weak to move. Too slow to grab it from him. What’s more, you were on the brink of death after being smacked a few times by that coltish blonde."

Damien couldn’t think of any excuse this time. Shadow Damien was right. He was too weak to save himself, better yet, to fight back and stop their team from getting disqualified.

However, he didn’t want to give up just yet. Rubbing his hands together and facing his shadow, he decided to beg for the first time in his life.

"Can’t you just possess my body like you did the last time and help me?" Damien pleaded, just when another painful thud came from his chest.

Dizziness overtook his senses in an instant and before he knew it, he was kneeling in the water, gripping his chest. But he didn’t give up just yet.

"Please. Just this once and I promise I’ll try harder once I’m enrolled at Gibforge," he coughed out blood, hands quivering as he wiped it off his lips, but he ignored the pain and rubbed the thick fluid on his clothes.

This was not the time to be focusing on his poor condition.

"Unfortunately, I can’t do that. It wasn’t me who possessed you last time, but the gem. I am but a manifestation of you that’ll only come out once you let me, but for that to happen, you need to change," the shadow kneeled on one foot before the groaning teen whose eyes were now bloodshot from pain, raising its hands to grab his chin and tip his head up so he could face it.

Damien shuddered when they made skin contact. The shadow’s fingers were cold to the touch, an untold deadliness in its tendrils as they brushed against his skin. He could tell they were aura from the way they made him wince, however, unlike what he was used to sensing from others, this aura didn’t make him want to subdue himself or escape.

"Wanting to protect Ahara and get revenge on your parents are noble convictions to wanting more power, but after you accomplish your goals then what? Are going to quit becoming more powerful?" The shadow asked once he was face to face with the boy.

Damien swallowed hard.

He wanted to reply to his shadow but couldn’t. Not because he was scared, and definitely not because he was being suppressed. But because he couldn’t find any answer in his head to reply with.

Those two were his only convictions for wanting more power.

He wanted to keep Ahara safe, to make her live a normal life she hadn’t been able to thanks to the responsibilities that were piled on her at a young age. He wanted to get revenge on the man who killed his parents—something that only appeared on his list after Ahara told him the truth about his parent’s death.

Other than that, he didn’t have any other valid convictions for wanting more power.

He might as well have asked Ahara to train him at home, and once he’d become more powerful than her—then he’d ask her to stop being a hero so they could live happily ever after like in the movies.

’Fuck. Was I being delusional all this time?’ Damien cursed in his head, remembering Clement’s advice from a few days ago.

The way of life here in Gibbous was different. Losers were left eating dust, and the winners aimed for the top spot no matter what. It was the same back in the human world, except, Damien wasn’t constantly reminded about his weakness because Ahara protected him.

Because of Ahara’s protection.

’Because of Ahara.’

"Seems like you finally get it," the shadow suddenly mumbled, smirking a little.

"A-are you suggesting that I should let go of my sister? Is that what you meant by me changing all this time?"

A loud sigh came from the shadow as he slapped his face in frustration.

"My goodness, you’re one dumb son of a bitch!"

"You live inside of me, idiot," Damien hissed back.

"Right, thanks for the ugly reminder," the shadow replied exhaustedly, turning back to face Damien.

"What I was trying to say is that you need to let go of everything that’s holding you back from pursuing greater convictions. Yes, you’ve been trying, but are you willing to take that leap of faith and step out of your comfort zone?"

Damien pondered over it for a while.

"You mean letting go of dependency on Ahara?"

"Hmm."

"Will she be okay with me risking everything like that?"

The shadow shrugged. "That’s something only you can answer for yourself."

Another moment of silence. Then Damien spoke.

"I think she’ll be okay with it if I insist."

"This leads us back to my question. Why do you want to become stronger?"

The boy didn’t hesitate to reply.

"To protect my sister and avenge my parents...wait, that’s not all is it?"

"You tell me," the shadow shrugged once again.

Damien pondered for a moment. He was lying to himself all along? Then that’d only mean one thing.

"I think I want to become stronger so I don’t feel useless anymore. So that I can protect the weak and save them wherever I can. I want to become strong so I can be a hero."

"Are you willing to take the risks that come along with the path you’re about to take? The painful sacrifices and the tears you will shed from the times you might fail? Because trust me, you will."

Damien paused for a while. Was he willing to do what shadow Damien just asked of him?

"Argh!"

Another painful thud came from his chest and he laughed at himself mockingly.

"I’ll do it," he replied through gritted teeth. "I mean, do I really have a choice aside from fighting for myself?

The shadow didn’t reply. It just let go of Damien’s chin and stood.

The lad’s heart made a joyful leap as he watched the tendrils around the shadow flare like a fueled fire, making him wince once the aura coming from it filled the space he was kneeling in—but he still didn’t feel like subduing himself.

"Since you’re ready, you might as well let me out now."

"Huh? What do you mean?" Damien asked, scrunching his brows at his shadow.

"I’m pretty sure you’ve already realized it by now, but I’m your aura."

Damien’s eyes widened. This was his aura? The flaring dark flames that looked as though they could devour anything in their way.

"Right now, your pulse points are clogged because your opponent aimed at them whilst hitting you. Unless you force your aura out, you’ll die any time soon."

A chill spider-crawled its way up Damien’s spine.

"And how am I supposed to let you out?" He asked.

"The same way you take a bump when you have constipation," the shadow replied, much to Damien’s confusion.

"You force it out."